Part Four: Thank God Not All Whites See Color the Same

[Chapters from my book, Black Eyes Shut - White Lips Sealed, by Jean Howard-Hill]

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Thank God Not All Whites See Color the Same

“My dearest LaShunda, never allow color to blind you to the truth, and never let it be the determining factor in choosing your friends, because true friendship has no color boundaries.” Golden Nuggets of Wisdom to My Daughter LaShunda__jhh

The plot was something straight out of a James Bond movie-Secret Agent Man, or I should say Woman.

At about 4:07 p.m., I got a call.

“Jean, this is ______.”

“Hi _____”

“Did you hear about the meeting to discuss your letter that they are having down at headquarters this evening?”

“No,” I replied.

“Well someone who is for you got the e-mail they sent out, and she called and read it to me. I am sure they didn’t intend for you to know about it. But they made a mistake and sent it to someone who is your friend. She called and told me about it.”

“That’s interesting because I am usually on the e-mail list. I guess this is one they don’t want me to see.”

“I guess not. But I thought you needed to know so that you could attend.”

“Well it’s about 4:10 now, and there is no way I can make it. Plus I don’t know if
it is a good idea for me to go, since I wasn’t invited.”

“You may be right. But we need somebody there, because I know they are not going to tell the truth, and will try to make it seem like you are a troublemaker. Let me see if I can get _____. You know she likes doing things like this. I bet she will go.”

(laughter)

“I know she will.”

“Okay well let me try to get her. I’ll call you back.”

Second call: 4:25 p.m.

“Jean this is _____.”

“Hi _____”

“I just finish talking to ______ and she told me that they are having a meeting down at Republican headquarters that, old Robin Smith has called to discuss your letter and I think you need to have someone there.”

“I feel like I do need someone there also, but I can’t go, that would be too obvious, and I don’t have anyone else I can send because we all are black. So, it would be a little hard to disguise ourselves!”

(laughter)

“Well you got to have somebody there to find out what that old Robin Smith and Marty Fairbanks are going to try to say about you. Cause they are the biggest liars in town. You know how that old Robin Smith pretended to be so for blacks at your Caucus meeting, after she had said all those ugly things about you. Makes me so mad, I could just vomit!

“I know.”

“Well I think I will just run down there and surprise them by attending the meeting myself. I don’t live too far from there, and it’s about 4:30. I believe I can jump into some clothes and be there in plenty of time before the meeting starts. I’ll just act like I came to pick up something, and then just invite myself to stay for the meeting. If that is okay with you?

“That’s fine.”

“Then that way they won’t know what hit them, because they will be thrown off guard because I am white. Where if you go, they won’t say much.”

(laughter)

“I’ll go and see what they have to say and what lies they will try to tell on you to cover their butts!”

“Okay thanks! I appreciate that.”

“I’ll call you as soon as it is over.”

Click.

Disguised as the white woman she is, my dear 74-year-old white political best friend, slipped into the enemy’s camp without anyone knowing that she was there as a spy for me! She could hardly wait to get home to call me to tell me what had happened.

Third call: 7:15 p.m.

“Hello”

“Dr. Hill this is _____. I got the report from the meeting.”

“You did?”

“Honey, I got so mad. Why I couldn’t believe that old Robin Smith got up there and just lied. Then she started crying. That made me so mad to see her up there being such an old phony. She said, ‘I am not crying because I am upset. I am crying because I am so mad.’ Then she told them that you wanted to run the Party, and that when she wouldn’t let you do that, every since then, you have been out to get her! She got up there and made herself look innocent, and like it was you who was after her. I got so mad that I started to tell her off right then and there. But I didn’t want to blow my cover. So I kept my cool. She knew she was the one who came after you!”

She added in total disbelief as to one state representative’s reaction to her performance, “I couldn’t believe he fell for that. I thought he was such a Christian, but he was up there trying to console her. I never seen such carrying on in all my life. She is such a phony.”

I also was shocked to learn this particular elected official was consoling her. That was a blow to my heart and spirit, even though I tried hard not to think about it.

My senior spy friend was so upset over this, and all the other people, including one black, I thought was a friend to me, and had been a friend to Bobby who she thought also was there to take sides with Robin. But once they all detected she was not a part of the core group, they couldn’t quite candidly discuss and trash me the way they had planned. Instead they left the room, and went into another part of the headquarters to huddle and she assumed to discuss how to restructure the meeting now that she was there.

“The only problem with that Robin Smith and the rest of them is that they are so darn jealous of you that they don’t know what to do. Because you got more sense in your little finger, than any of them got in their heads. That is what is wrong with all of them!”, was her conclusion of the whole matter.

She went on to fill me in as to who was there, and what each person said in full detail. I made a note of everything as she relayed to me all that happened in the meeting.

After I got off the telephone, I paused to thank God for having white Republican friends, who were not about to condone or participate in any form of racism or any attempt to unjustly railroad me.

Indeed I had a lot to be thankful for. Despite all of the persecution, and attempts to destroy me, God always surrounded me by those whites who rallied to my defense, as much as they could. The majority of them were not active within the party, but were dear white Republican friends or brothers and sisters in Christ. Many offered to help, but did not know how. They were not in elected, or appointed leadership, and again they were not actively involved in the local party, but they were strong, loyal, voting Republicans. There were many days and nights, when the load was heavy, that they prayed for me, called to encourage me, and even cried with me. My pain became their pain. My hurt, their hurt, and even my battles became their battles. I learned a valuable lesson in human relationships during all of this. True friendship and brotherly and sisterly relationships are not color grown. It did not matter to them that I was black, and they were white. They were my true friends, and sisters and brothers in Christ, and nothing could destroy that. Not even the race related battles I fought. In fact, they stood firmly with me, to fight the same cause.

Then there were those who were active within the Republican Party, who stood with me. There were not as many as those on the perimeter of the party’s inner circle. Nevertheless, they stuck by me, defending not only me, but also the rights of any African-American to be a Republican, and to fully participate within the Party. The two most endeared of these were Mary Louise Collins and Betty Rice.
After I returned to Chattanooga, on my third or fourth time attending the Pachyderm Club, I met Mary Louise Collins. Both Bobby and I were members of the club before he passed. That day, I thought about the time, we spoke as a team at the meeting, and the month that I was responsible for getting speakers. Sitting in the back because the room was so packed full, she walked up to me and interrupted my thoughts.

“Hi”, she said. “My name is Mary Louise Collins, and I want to invite you to the Republican Women’s Club”.

I reached out my hand to the hand she extended to me, and replied, “Hi my name is Jean Howard-Hill. Thank you for the invitation. I was a member before I left, and had planned to rejoin. Thank you for inviting me back.”

The first thing I noticed about her was her smile. It was warm and inviting. The
second thing that I noticed was that she did not look her age! When she told me she was 81, I could not believe it! She was all dolled up, and looked to be about 25! She had a set of eyes that were disarming with a kind of innocent charm. Later I saw her use that charm on Senator Fred Thompson. He loved her to death. No matter where he was, if she was there, he never left without giving her a special kiss on the cheek. This just tickled her to death! After seeing this happen every time I was with her in his presence, I started calling her “Fred’s girl”. She just laughed, and flashed her beautiful eyes.

I met Betty Rice just a few days later, when they invited me to go to Marion County to the Lincoln Day Dinner. Now that was a ride I shall never forget! LaShunda and I sat in the back seat, with Mary Louise and Betty up front. Maybe I should say we took a shuttle flight to Marion County, because Betty drove like a bat released from hell! As she blew the cars off the road in passing, she had a few choice words to say to each driver who was not maintaining the ninety miles per hour speed she was driving! Some of those comments, I shall not repeat.
LaShunda and I were screaming in laughter in the back seat! We had so much fun on that twenty-minute trip. From then on, both Mary Louise and Betty became my hang-out buddies, and dear friends. We attended everything together, and kept the fun and laughter rolling!

Both Mary Louise and Betty are two of the kindest, most compassionate, and beautiful swinging seniors you can find. But in personalities, they are the difference between night and day. Mary Louise is the cool and collective one. Betty at first impression is very regal, and stoic. However, once you get to know her, you will find that she is quite a character! Like Mary Louise they both look like they are worth a million dollars when they step out. (Which is often!) Betty has often been mistaken for Barbara Bush, because of her lovely white hair, and resemblance to Mrs. Bush. I get such a kick out of how Betty tells the stories of her mistaken identity. It certainly gets her the best seats, and lots of attention at National events. But it also puzzles the Secret Service, to see someone who looks so much like Barbara Bush. While Mary Louise believes in a slow process of resolution, Betty is feisty and fiery, and will get it straight right where and when the trouble begins. In her own words:

“I don’t go around starting fights, but I sure as heck ain’t going to run away from one, especially when I see someone being mistreated. My mama and daddy did not raise me that way to hate blacks. I can’t stand to see someone being done wrong when they haven’t done anything to deserve it. Why if George Bush knew what they were doing to you and the people in the Caucus, when he is telling everyone to include blacks, he wouldn’t like that at all. And if I get a chance to, I am going to tell him!”

When Betty got a call from RNC, asking for money, she was so upset that the RNC chair Marc Racicot had come to Chattanooga, and had not met with me to try to get things straightened out, that she told them that she wanted to leave this message for him personally that she wasn’t going to give anything else to the RNC because she did not like the way they were treating her good friend, Dr. Jean Howard-Hill.
One day I went to my mailbox and to my surprise found a letter from Congressman Wamp asking for a campaign contribution to ensure his 2004 re-election bid. It was sent to Betty, but she had marked through her name, and re-addressed the letter to me, because she knew I would get a kick out of that! She knew I would be the first person to want to contribute to Congressman Wamp’s re-election campaign in light of how well he had treated the Caucus and me! The letter from Congressman Wamp, via my friend Betty Rice, made my day. I was ever so happy for the privilege to have received it, and rushed right out to put my check in the mail! Not!

Betty was my personal bodyguard. She would say, “Come on and go with me, and nobody better say anything to you or Little LaShunda while you are with me. Because I will let them have it. I don’t believe in treating people differently because of the color of their skin. My Mama and Daddy didn’t allow us to do that when I was growing up, and I am not going to let anybody do it to you!”

Once we were together at a Pachyderm meeting, and one of the people who had treated me unfairly was sitting down from her. This person had been busy ripping me apart to anyone who would listen. Betty looked down the table at her, and displayed to her an unmentionable finger gesture that left one finger up and the other four down. LaShunda saw it, and nearly fell out of her chair laughing! Then she sat there looking as innocent and regal as Queen Elizabeth, or I should say Barbara Bush!

She then leaned over to me and said, “Boy if that Mary Louise Collins had seen me do that, she would have messed in her pants. You know she believes in the diplomatic method.”

At that point, I placed my napkin to my mouth to keep from spraying my salad on the person sitting across the table from me. With the napkin muzzling my mouth, I nearly choked! Betty certainly did not believe in biting her tongue when it came to what was happening to me or anyone else, if it was wrong.

Both Mary Louis and Betty were not only my loyal and dearest friends, but they were Grandma Collins and Grandma Rice to LaShunda. Including the two of them, and my mother and Bobby’s Mom, this gave LaShunda the honor and pleasure of having four of the greatest grandmothers in the world. They bragged on her, and treated her as if she truly was their own blood kin.

It made my enemies even madder when Mary Louise told them, “LaShunda is the most gracious, and smartest little girl that I have ever seen. She is so smart, and so well behaved. Someone over at the newspaper told me that she could pass any college entrance exam right now, and get into college. So I have it from a good source.”
Betty echoed the same sentiments. What really made them mad was the last part that Mary Louise would add, “And you have to give the credit to the Mother.” Then she would go on to brag about what a good mother and person I was. This really did not set too well with those who were on a mission to discredit me, and paint a totally different picture of someone who was such a troublemaker and bad person.

Both Mary Louise and Betty also were Christians who did not believe in compromising their principles, no matter who wanted them to do so. They faced a lot of opposition, and have paid dearly for standing with me, and being my friends.
Mary Louis suffered the most for her decision. She is a hard working, loyal Republican, who can out work the best of them, and is well known throughout the state for her ability to raise money for the Party. She is able to sell more tables at any one event, than an army of Republicans! She is now 84 years old, and still looks and acts like she is twenty-five. She has so much energy! Everyone loves her! Especially Senator Fred Thompson!

When those opposing me were not able to turn Mary Louise against me, she was blackballed from selling tickets to the Lincoln Day Dinner, and verbally assaulted. All of this was done simply because in love, she tried to speak with Congressman Wamp, who was the person who had orchestrated the campaign against me. She attempted to get him to talk with me, and get the whole mess straightened out before it got too far out of hand. She confronted him with what he had said and done. All she wanted was to keep this from hurting himself, me, the Caucus and the Party. Had he given her the chance, she was asking him to apologize to me, and get things straightened out. But instead of him following her wise counsel, he allowed Robin Smith and Marty Fairbanks to interrupt the conversation, threatening her as to who she could talk to and what she could say. When they realized another person was in the room listening, they demanded that he leave. Then they proceeded to give poor Mary Louise Collins a tongue lashing of the rudest and cruelest sort. All with Congressman Wamp standing there, not saying a word, but allowing them to do his dirty work. When I heard about this, and hearing the hurt and pain in her voice, I was so sorry she had to endure this because of me. She was so hurt and shocked to see how he allowed them to just walk all over top of her, and not utter a word. This also was the day that they threatened poor Mary Louise not to speak to the press and warned if she continued to be for me, she would not be allowed to sell tickets to the 2002 Lincoln Day Dinner.

As a way of already getting back at her, from the tickets she had sold from the 2001 Lincoln Day Dinner, Robin Smith and Marty Fairbanks took three tables which had been paid for by Republican donors, who asked Mary Louise to give seats to anyone she knew who could not afford to pay to attend the affair. Instead of allowing her to do this, they used the three tables to seat themselves, their friends and family, while Mary Louise paid for her ticket to the event. This also took much needed funds from the Party, at a time when it could have made good use of over $4000 that the purchase of their own tickets could have brought in. She was so weary of all that had happened that she did not attend the 2002 Lincoln Day Dinner. But for the way they had treated her, she would have never missed this annual event, and had always been the person to sell the highest number of tickets.
For the 2002 Statesmen’s Dinner where Vice President Dick Cheney spoke, Mary Louise sold over twelve tables, which was $24,000 worth of tickets. This was more than any one individual has ever sold in the history of the State Party. But because she supported me, she was over looked for the Statesmen’s Awards by Congressman Wamp, and only given credit in the program for selling four to nine tables. After having worked so hard to sell tickets, she was even given a hard time in getting seats on the bus to Nashville for the 2002 Statesmen’s Dinner. She was told by Alison, the sister of Congressman Wamp, that she had to make reservations to ride the bus sponsored by Congressman Wamp, and even then they could not promise her seats.

Despite all of her efforts, very vindictively, Congressman Wamp gave the Statesman Award to Robin Smith, who had done absolutely nothing to raise funds or to build the local party. Instead, she was busy portraying herself as being the Gestapo leader who had the power to crush anyone who did not adhere to Congressman Wamp’s or her wishes.

Another example of their vindictiveness is that Mary Louise Collins had sponsored a member of the press, whom she was very fond of to the Lincoln Day Dinner. Mary Louise knows most of the media at the local newspaper because her former husband was a long time reporter there. The reporter was not covering the story, but Mary Louise wanted him to be her guest. After she gave the reporter the ticket, Robin Smith called him and demanded that he give her the ticket so that she could give it to another reporter. She took a ticket, paid for by someone else, and gave it to one of the two black Republicans in the local party. Which meant she not only took the ticket, but also she lied about giving it to a reporter. All of this was done without Mary Louise’s knowledge or consent.

Again they intentionally did not acknowledge her efforts in raising money and selling tickets for the next 2003 Hamilton County Lincoln Day Dinner. In the article in the paper, not one of the pictures submitted were of her, nor was her name mentioned, despite the fact that she was responsible for raising almost $19,000, and she sold 31 of the 45 tables for the event. While Robin Smith at the last moment turned back in the one and only table she had pledged to sell or sponsor. This was her way of trying to sabotage the dinner, because as a defuncted past party chair, she was not able to influence it. If anyone should have been able to sell at least one table, even if she had to buy it herself, it should have been a retiring party chair.

There were others within the Wamp camp, who also failed at their pledges of selling
tables. It appeared to be a concerted effort to ensure the event’s failure. If they could not control it, and get all of the credit and glory for the success, they were not about to allow anyone else to, especially Mary Louise who refused to be a part of their underhanded political maneuverings. Not only this, but Mary Louise also co-chaired and donated many of the items for the silent auction which brought in over $3,500. I even donated several items to help her. But the most hateful of these deeds was to again ignore Mary Louise’s hard work, and because she was in my corner, again for the third year straight, not give her the well-deserved 2003 Statesmen’s award.

At the 2003 Statesmen’s Award, even at the last moment, Mary Louise sold $8,400 in tickets. She was just good at her job, and loved doing it! However, her efforts once again were ignored. Instead there was a video filled with shots of Robin Smith, and the award was given to a woman in another county, who no one had heard of. Even with the urgings of those at a higher level within the State Party, Congressman Wamp still refused to give Mary Louise this well deserved award. Being that she was getting up in age, there was no better time to award her for her services. But all of this was a concerted effort to continue to blackball anyone who stood for truth, and what was right; even a precious and dear 83 year old party loyalist, like sweet Mary Louise Collins, who worked so hard and was so well deserving of it. It was Congressman Wamp and Robin Smith at their worst, and there were many now who knew it.

Months later after I had sent a copy of the letter to RNC and the elected officials, Congressman Wamp called Mary Louise Collins from Washington, D.C. to feel her out, and see whose corner she was in. When she held firm to her position, and shared with him all of the things that had been said and done to me, he strongly defended the actions of Robin Smith, and said he did not know of anyone with any higher integrity than she had. Despite what Mary Louise had said, he would not come to me or get the matter cleared up. He lied in telling her that I had sent him a nasty letter, which later, I had sent another letter to apologize for my behavior. I had no idea what letter he could have been referring to. But this was just another way to avoid getting down to the truth, and amicably resolving the conflict. He did not want to talk about what he had done to me, and the conversation ended again without him allowing her the opportunity, as his elder to help him to set things in order. From that day on, he made it as hard for her as he could.

After hearing about Mary Louise’s support and defense of me, Congressman Wamp’s sister made it clear that her brother would never apologize to me for anything he had done.

I could tell Mary Louise was a little torn, but because she was a woman of principle, she continued to stand with me. She dearly loved Congressman Wamp’s wife and his two children, and really hated seeing the situation get out of hand, because she knew in the end, just more people would be added to the list of those hurt. I shared the same sentiments. This was a very uncomfortable position that even I did not like to see them be placed in. I also had a tender heart for his family. LaShunda and his daughter had rode together on the back of his campaign convertible during the 2001 Fourth of July Picnic in Marion County. The two girls hit it off well, and I had hoped they would become friends. I thought about the hurt LaShunda had suffered, and regardless of what they did to me, I did not want to see any child be hurt. So for this reason alone, we all wanted him to make things right, and stop the confusion that was spiraling out of control. There were more lives affected than just ours. But I don’t think Wamp or Smith cared, as long as they got what they wanted.

After Mary Louise took her stand, they began spreading rumors to the Young Republicans that sweet Mary Louise was a “low down and dirty” person. They continued to try to destroy her by telling others the same. Just as they had done me, they began a new campaign to silence her, by trashing her name, and character. But they could not do it, because Mary Louise was white, and was well liked by everyone in the party, except for them. Every job she has ever done or worked on she has given her all. She had worked like a champ, and had a great deal of respect.

The most devastating of their retaliation was to spread the rumor that my dear friend was an alcoholic and had Alzheimer’s disease. She called me late one night and said, “Jean guess what? The latest news is that I am an alcoholic and have Alzheimer’s.”

This prompted a good laugh from both of us. But nothing was funny about it. Nor was there anything furthest from the truth. This was done to diminish her credibility, which in the eyes of everyone who knew her was impeccable, and her ability to get the job done was matched by none! This was the kind of thing at first, which causes you to get bloody mad. But after the ignorance of it wears on you for a while, you have to laugh at it, and pity someone who would stoop so low as to undermine the credibility and good reputation of someone as precious and as sweet as Mary Louise Collins. But she kept quiet, and endured it all for my sake, and because of her principles, her strong religious convictions, and her love for the party and love of me. Regardless of their threats and humiliation, she would not turn against me, and still remains my friend. She has paid a tremendous price for making that decision. A price very few would have made.

Betty Rice has also paid a price, but because she is so fiery, and does not bite her tongue, they dared not mess with her. Not even the Congressman Wamp, with all of his power dared to confront her, and certainly not Robin Smith, Marty Fairbanks or anyone else! Betty is the one who was most outspoken, and had no problem telling anyone about how she feels. When they see her coming, they either shut up, or go in the opposite direction! I get tickled when I think about the times when she saw things being wrongly done to me and spoke out in my favor. Her choice of words sometimes was hilarious. This kept Mary Louise on pins and needles, trying to monitor her behavior. Because you never knew what she would say, or who she would say it to, if she saw something being done wrong to LaShunda, the Caucus, or me.
I remember this one time, someone who had lied about being involved in the confusion, and Betty knew they were lying. This made her so upset that when he came over to hug her, she said, “He knows he is lying about not ever hearing anyone say anything unkind about you. Then he has the nerve to come over here, trying to hug me, and smiling like a jackass chewing sour grass. He is just an ole hypocrite! Because a real Christian wouldn’t do something like that.”

Needless to say, if others had heard her, this would have broken up the Pachyderm meeting. It was hard to keep one’s composure after that. Fortunately Mary Louise wasn’t around at the time. Otherwise, she would have simply died. But like it or not, Betty didn’t bite her tongue when it came to doing what was right. She would look you straight in the eye, and tell you the truth, even if you were the President.

“At my age”, she would say, “I am old enough to tell it like it is, and if I get the chance, I am going to let the President know what is going on down here.”
Mary Louise and Betty became honorary members of our Hamilton County Republican African-American Caucus. Everyone loved and appreciated the love, kindness, and warm embrace they extended to us. They are the two nicest and kindest women you could ever meet, and shall always be my best friends. Not because they stood with me, but because they truly are the kind of people who anyone would count it a blessing to have as friends. I saw their loyalty, time and time again.

When Mary Louise and Betty were told they did not want me or blacks within the Hamilton County Republican Women’s Club, they resigned from the club, along with a few other women who felt the same as they did. They did not want to belong to an organization that did not want someone in it because of the color of their skin. It is because of white Republicans such as these women that my faith and confidence is still intact. They have given me reason to believe that there are those within the Republican Party who are not racists, and can see beyond color and race. More importantly, it was comforting to know there are those who will not keep silent, but will speak out and take a stand against wrong, even if it costs them. …And it has.

There were others in the Party who also stood firm and denounced racism as well. Cathy Champion, Grace Williams, and Janey Stitt were among those people.
Cathy had tried to make in routes for me into Georgia when she saw how they had blocked me in Tennessee. She encouraged and consoled me at a time when I was under tremendous stress and opposition.

Grace was a long time friend that I knew when I first came into the Party in 1979. She was an officer, board member, and member of the Hamilton County Republican Women’s Club. When she was approached, she quickly responded, “If she is a trouble maker, then tell me what has she done?” When they could not give her any reasons, she replied, “Well I don’t want to hear it, unless you can tell me what she has done. I don’t see anything that she has done to be labeled as a trouble maker”.
Grace also was someone who did not bite her tongue when it came to standing up for what was right. She shared with many of the women how she felt about me, and told them how wrong the club had been in misjudging me. She began her own crusade to make sure people knew me, as she did. She also invited LaShunda and I as her guest to her church, and she and her husband were willing to share a table with us at the 2003 Lincoln Day Dinner to openly show she was not shying away from me, as some had begun to do. When I did not feel comfortable with going, neither did they. But what touched my heart more than anything else, was when she said to me that if we, (referring to the black women in the Caucus) wanted to start a new Republican Women’s Club, she would join, and so would many others. There were those who also said they would join as well. This was the strongest and most convincing show of inclusion I had seen.

For someone like Grace who has been in the Party for so long, and is so well liked and respected, along with the others to make this kind of gesture as a show of embrace and denouncement of racism was tangible evidence of a true and sincere acceptance of women of color.

Janey Stitt had called to get me to work in Larry Henry’s campaign for the County Commissioner seat for the 8th district, before she learned I was entering the race as a write-in candidate. She also had called to welcome and encourage the women in our Caucus to join the Hamilton County Republican Women’s Club. She had just been elected as Vice Chairman, and was putting together a project to recruit new women in the club. She wanted to make sure we became members. I explained to her that based upon our charter, each member was required to join an additional Republican group, and that all of our ladies would be joining the club. She was delighted. But I also told her that I was hesitant about encouraging them to join at this point because I did not feel they were welcomed. She couldn’t believe that anyone in the Party felt that way, and assured me that I must be mistaken.

A few weeks later, she called back to let me know that I was right. She had been approached by the club’s president, Valerie Morris and told that she was not to trust me, and that I was a “trouble maker”, and they did not want me in the club. They also were not about to welcome the other women in the Caucus. They told her that I had unduly influenced Mary Louise Collins, and sought to trash her. When she heard this, Janey resigned as Vice President, because she was adamantly opposed to excluding anyone based upon their color. She strongly believed that the Republican Party should reach out to everyone and try to include them. This was also the philosophy of her church.

Her feelings were so strong, and her godly conscience so deep that she went a step further and put in writing what had happened, and submitted it to several local Republican elected officials, which included Larry Henry, the commissioner I had run against. Despite this, behind closed doors he and others felt what had happened was wrong, but none were so deeply convicted enough as she, to give me the benefit of any comfort in knowing that they possibly may not have condoned racism, or to express their personal support for me or to welcome members of the Caucus as African-American Republicans. Perhaps in time they will.

Pat Williams is also another friend, who has lived by his convictions and godly principles.

On the same day that the executive director of the State Party, Matt King spoke to the Pachyderms, at the beginning of the meeting, Pat, who at that time was the president of the club, made an emotional, but firm speech to the group denouncing racism, and that he was taking a firm and godly stand for doing what was right in the eyes of God. What he said, I am sure shocked many people in the room, because it went right to the heart of what was happening. Racism was something that I had never heard anyone in the Republican Party voluntarily address! So for him to do so, must have caught many by surprise. When he finished his speech, he happened to sit down next to me. I knew that from then on, those who racially opposed me, and those who were prejudice would seek to destroy him, just as they had attempted to do to anyone white in the party who stood with me, and did not condone what was being done to me and the members of the Caucus because of the color of our skin.
He later shared with me why in the Pachyderm Club meeting, he had asked me to give him the Caucus announcement so that he could make them, rather than me. Then he told me that he had been approached by Robin Smith, and told that he had better watch out for me because I could not be trusted. He stopped her from making any further comments about me and replied by asking her if she was his sister in Christ. When she answered yes, he looked her straight in the eyes and said, “So is Jean Howard-Hill, and I don’t believe in family squabbles”.

After this, he was marked as an enemy, and saw just how vindictive they could be. That was apparent when he ran for Circuit Court Clerk, and some of the same Republicans vigorously opposed him and withdrew their support, despite the fact that he had served as President of the Pachyderms, and had been a loyal Republican for years. While part of the reason may have been because of the enormous non-partisan popularity of his opponent among lawyers and judges, also part of this was because he took a stand against racism, and would not allow the party leadership to speak evil of me, and because of his refusal to turn against me because he deemed me as his sister in Christ. Race just wasn’t an issue with Pat Williams. But his spiritual relationship with me was very important. He was committed to not having any parts of racism, and was just standing his grounds based upon what he felt was right in the eyes of God.

Shenna and Ken Meyers were also very supportive. They had been dear friends going back to 1980. Shenna and I were like sisters. I tried to keep the Meyers out of what was going on, because I did not want it to appear that their support for me was because they had an axe to grind with anyone. Nothing could have been any further from the truth, but friends protect each other, and this is what I felt I had to do with them. Once Wamp realized we were best friends, I knew there would be retaliation against them. Unfortunately he found out.

We all were in Washington around the same time. Kenny and Shenna had dropped in at Congressman Wamp’s office. During the conversation, Wamp inquired as to Shenna’s plans while there.

She responded, “I am going to spend some time with my girlfriend, Jean Howard-Hill.”

Needless to say, this was a shock to Wamp to hear we were best friends. She didn’t understand why he was startled so she added. “You know Jean Howard-Hill. Everybody knows Jean.”

When I heard about this, I was sure Wamp would either try to block any presidential appointments Kenny was seeking or would work behind his back, and when he did get appointed, even without Wamp’s help , he would take credit for it. If they weren’t already on his “stop and destroy” list, they were now. But this would have happened probably anyway, since Kenny had opposed him in his bid for Congress in 1994. Wamp never forgets anyone who crosses him. So Kenny’s name was in all likelihood already top of the list. Because I loved them both, counted them as friends, and I felt Kenny was well deserving of any appointment, I kept my distance, so that my association with them would not add to Wamp’s political vindictiveness.

Melinda Smith (no blood relations to Robin Smith) also was my best friend from of all places, Sand Mountain! She attended Robin Smith’s church and was totally flabbergasted that the same Robin, who appeared to be so sanctimonious in church, could be so different within the political arena. She was there with me on the day Matt King spoke at the Pachyderm meeting. She also had given me her shoulder of support as I went through so much within the local party. It was amazing how those, others would think would be prejudice, I got along with them just fine. [There was a rumor that some of the people from Sand Mountain weren’t too receptive to blacks. But by no means, being from Sand Mountain made Melinda anything other that a loyal, caring and godly friend. Her race or my race was never an issue.]

Then there was Gary Starnes, who is a prominent local attorney and moderate Republican. He had become a good friend and someone with whom I could share confidentialities. He had always welcomed me with open arms and a sincere friendship. Of course this did not make Congressman Wamp too happy to know we were friends, because like me, Gary had learned by experience just how devious and untruthful Wamp can be.

One of the things I admired about Gary is that he was his own man. He was honest, a man of his word, and one who was not afraid to stand up and say when Congressman Wamp or the Republican Party was wrong. No one else had shown that kind of courage. It also was good to have a fellow member of the legal profession, and party also as a friend who had the wisdom to see the benefit and need for inclusion. But I feared that unless the good Republicans stood up for what was right, even his support for inclusiveness would cost him in not being appointed or elected to positions of leadership within the local party. This was unfortunate because he had all the makings of a strong and dedicated leader, who could take the Republican Party in the direction in which it so badly needed to go. One of reaching out to all people, and working within the community to bring about non-partisan change, as well as within the Party to make it a strong and viable political entity.

Happy Williams was another dear white Republican friend, who so lovingly served as my campaign manager. She was not only a friend, but was also a good neighbor. We lived in the same subdivision. If she sees me out working in the yard, over she comes to join in the task. Her family house-sits my home if I am away. We also return the same favor. She had become both a prayer partner, and a sister. Those times she had told me she was praying for me, was when I really needed it the most. She would just look in the direction of my house and lift me up in prayer. Our level of trust was such that I was able to share with her and her husband many things ordinarily of which, I would have only shared with another African-American. Although Happy was not within the Republican loop of leadership, she represented the millions of Republicans who vote, and do welcome blacks within the Republican Party. They are the ones who are not aware of the dilemma, and are wondering why aren’t more blacks a part of the GOP.

I also have to acknowledge the support of Sheriff John Cupp. He got out of his bed, sick with the flu, to attend the Pachyderm meeting, the day I introduced the Caucus. He did it because he wanted to make sure I personally knew we had his support. Before going back home to go to bed, he came over and encouraged me. I needed that, and I greatly appreciated it. He was one of the few members of the clergy within the local party who opened their arms in love to the Caucus and me. For that I was eternally grateful.

Also Representative Jim Vincent had another appointment that day, but he made sure he dropped by to let me know he supported our efforts. His wife also very graciously encouraged me.

There too was a most appreciated unsolicited donation, along with a note from the owner of Wonder Windows, which read:


Dear Jean:

It was a pleasure seeing you again two weeks ago or so at the Pachyderm Club, even though we didn’t get to exchange more than a couple of words. My secretary just reminded me, though, of that very fine talk you gave some four or five months ago at the Pachyderm luncheon. So I wanted to send a small donation to your campaign and wish you all the luck in the world. Kindest regards, Mike Olins.

His donation to the Caucus may have been small to him, but it went a long ways when sending out mailers, and was most encouraging just to know there were those like Mike in the club. He also had made another small donation to the Caucus.
There were others as well who hailed our efforts, personally supported and encouraged me from time to time, and would have accepted and worked with us, had we not been blocked.

Rev. Bob Tripp is also a very special friend and my clergy brother. He is a Knoxville Methodist pastor who ran in the Republican Primary for governor of the state of Tennessee. He is just one of those people who you know at first chat, that he is a man of God, whose daily life exemplifies nothing but pure love and compassion for all people. Immediately we became good friends and covenant brother and sister. We prayed together, and occasionally shared a troubling and even humorous experience along the Republican political pathway. He also had gotten a taste of Robin Smith’s rude behavior and lack of respect for members of the clergy, as she treated him very unkindly during his attendance at the Lincoln Day Dinner in Chattanooga. We both quickly came to recognize that members of the clergy were certainly not exempted from her mean spiritedness. It wasn’t only black clergy, but any member of the clergy who she felt was a threat or insignificant to their plans. We remain friends, and I expect we will stay that way until we throw off this old garment of mortality, and exchange it for eternal life, on the other side of time.

I am amazed at how many white Americans who are not racially prejudice, even many within the Republican Party. Unfortunately they are not always the ones out front, therefore what is seen is a poor representation of those within the Party who are not racist. I would say my friends who are black and white are about equal. This is a far change from my Wheaton days when I was going through my years of “the white man”, being the enemy, and it was just “us” (blacks), against “them” (whites). I am pleased to see the mellowing in my life. I haven’t lost my ethnicity. But with years, many life experiences, and growing in grace and the nourishment of God’s word, I have come full circle with who I am, and find myself very comfortable in having developed the perfect mixture of blackness, that does not leave me bitter, or causes me to blame every white person for racism present or past. It just lets me see each individual for who they are, without all the racial baggage. It also has convinced me that friends are friends, and they do not come in color-coded selections. A friend only knows the fragrance of friendship, which is LOVE!
The truth of the matter is that there are many white Republicans who do not practice racism, and stand with open arms to welcome African-Americans into the party. However, the problem is that they are not always at the helm of leadership or actively involved in the everyday politics of the Republican Party. They vote. They are Republicans in theory. But they are not aware of the ugliness and prejudice that exist, because they are not there to see it. They only know, hear and see what they read in the newspapers, see on television, or are told. Believe me, no white racist within the Party is going to openly publicize their bigotry, particularly if they are depending upon voters for their support in getting elected to office. In fact, their political campaign rhetoric will say just the opposite.

Each day, I continue to thank God for my white Republican friends. Without them, I could not have made it. Their support and friendship made me think of those accounts in slavery where there were whites who did not subscribe to the practice of enslaving blacks, and through their tender mercies, the burdens of a small fraction of slaves were relieved.

The book, The Negroes in Virginia, by West Turner tells of one of those stories where a white conspired with a slave to spare him a fierce beating.

“Anytime ol’massa got a slave that been cuttin’ up or something, he tell Gabe to give that slave a lashin’. Sometimes he come down to the barn to watch it, but most time he just set on the porch and listen to the blows. Ol’ Gabe didn’t like that whipping business, but couldn’t help himself. When massa was there, he would lay it on, because he had to. But when ol’ massa wasn’t, he never would beat them slaves. Would tie the slave up to one post and lash another one. Of course, the slave would scream and yell to satisfy massa, but he wasn’t getting no lashing. After while Gabe would come out the barn and ask massa is that was enough. “Sho’, that’s plenty,” say massa. Once ol’ Gabe was beating the post so hard and the slave was yelling so that massa call to Gabe, “Quit beating that nigger, Gabe. What you trying to do? Kill him?” Slave come running out screaming, with berry wine rubbed all over his back and Massa told Gabe if he didn’t stop beating his slaves so hard, he gonna git a lashin’ himself.”

Then there is this account from the slave narrative of Bryl Anderson, from the Library of Congress, which shows the positive relationship that some whites had even to their own slave children.

“My master’s name was Powhattan Mitchell and he lived at Perch, Virginia, right at the mouth of Peddler River. At that time ol’ Maaster had a ferryboat and three farms. He was a Whig who owned slaves, but was against slavery. He took me on his knee when I was about three and a half years old, and gave me his birthright. He called up an old sow that had thirteen pigs all different colors. He said, “You see them pigs there? They are all different colors, but all have the same mother and all are brothers and sisters.” The he called up his son and said, “This boy is your brother. I am the daddy of you both. You are to call me Papa henceforth. You are to call this brother of yours, not master, but brother. Never call no white man master. For all are brothers and equal. Black is as good as white. So always keep courage and never back off from a white man. Treat all men alike and call girls Miss, white and black; but call all men just what they call you. Always be honest and just and upright before all men. When you finish a day’s work, get money for it and never take provisions or chattel. If you need provisions or chattel, get the money and buy them,” From that day to this I called ol Master, Papa. I followed his instructions. I have always been honest, just and have contended for what was rightfully mine. I have never feared no man, white nor black.”

Lydia Maria Child was another white who stood strongly opposed to slavery during a very unpopular period in history. When we heard the lyrics of the songs, Over the river and through the wood, when grandmother sees us come, or We gather together to ask the Lord’s blessings, and Come Ye Thankful People, Come, we seldom associate them to anti-slavery. However, they were written by Lydia Maria Child, one of the most recognized and outspoken abolitionists of the middle 1800s.

After being convinced by abolitionist William Lloyd Garrison that slavery was both a sin and a grievous wrong that had to be corrected, she took up the cause, and began writing in strong opposition to slavery. This was not done without her and her husband (an attorney), paying an extremely high cost. Once she made this decision to fight against the evils of slavery, she was immediately shunned, and her popularity as a writer and lyricist were in jeopardy.

There is an interesting story of a letter she received from the wife of a Virginia senator, who chastised and criticized her for writing a letter to ask if she could care for the wounds of John Brown, who had been imprisoned after his attempt to sphere head the slave uprising of 1859. In her letter, the senator’s wife defended slavery as a benevolent and caring institution, which was in place because African slaves were not capable of caring for themselves. She went on to say that southern women were kind to slave mothers who gave birth to slave children. In a feisty retort, Child responded by pointing out that northern women also were kind to women in childbirth, but “after we have helped the mothers, we do not sell the babies.” This letter exchange was later published as an abolitionist pamphlet and sold over 300,000 copies.

She also was responsible for archiving many slave narratives that otherwise would have never been preserved or told. Among those was one of my favorites in which I quoted in earlier chapter, from the salve narratives of Harriet Jacobs.

Child also wrote other books on the subject of slavery, and partnered with her husband in a project to reduce the profits from slave harvested crops such as sugar. They purchased a farm in Northampton, Massachusetts and began raising sugar beet, which they hoped would serve as a substitute for cane sugar from the South. When this project failed, it was financially devastating to the Childs. However, they never gave up the fight for the abolishment of slavery. In fact, Maria and her husband made the ultimate sacrifice of her going to work in New York as the editor of the National Anti-Slavery Standard. It was in this position that she is said to have forged her most powerful messages against slavery, along with the preservation of slave narratives.

In 1880, she died not as a pauper, but as a victor of the cause of human rights.
Thank you Mrs. Child for giving us the opportunity to hear in the words of our slaves ancestors, their own personal accounts of the horrors of an era which caused them so much pain. Yet now we can understand, appreciate, learn from and overcome that dark and painful era as a memorial to those who suffered, so that we might never take even one fraction of a second of slavery for granted.

There also is the story of Sarah Patton Boyle, a white woman in Virginia, who spoke out against racial injustice. She reminded me so much of the support I had gotten from my white Republican senior friends. There was a little bit of each of them found within the character of this daring woman from the 50s.
In 1950, a young black lawyer by the name of Gregory Swanson, went to court to challenge the practice of racial segregation that prohibited him legally from furthering his studies in law. By law he was not allowed to attend his home state University of Virginia, although it was founded and nicknamed ironically, as Thomas Jefferson’s University.

Hearing of this, Boyle responded, “It was like a bolt of lightning. I’d never really thought about this issue before. Swanson obviously was well qualified, and this was Thomas Jefferson’s university. It hit me all of a heap.”

This electrifying revelation, prompted her to immediately begin a one woman’s letter writing campaign to gain support for Swanson’s admission. She ventured further in her efforts to write a freelance article called, “We Want a Negro at the University of Virginia”, and later wrote the book, The Desegregated Heart in 1962. As time went on, Boyle’s unsealed lips became most costly, as she became aware of the true plight of the Negro for justice and equality.

Her teacher and mentor was T. J. Seller, editor of Charlottesville’s Negro newspaper. After being bewildered by her lack of support from the Negro community–both because she did not have an understanding of the cause for which she championed, and because of the mistrust Negroes had for a white woman who naively made one blunder after another in her well meaning intentions to help the cause, Seller took her under his wings, and made her a quick study in the reality of what it meant to be a Negro in the 50’s. As she put it, He agreed to help her, teach her, and become a mentor on the condition that she would not approach such an education in Negro plight, as “a white lady slumming.” Agreeing that she was willing to open her eyes, and be receptive to the truth, Seller agreed to enroll her in the T.J. Seller’s Course for Backward, But Well Meaning Southern Whites.

On a weekly basis, for several months Boyle faithfully attended Seller’s one-on-one class, until she realized that the perception of Negroes she had, bore no resemblance to the paternalism she had grown up with. In recalling that experience, she wrote:

“He [Sellers] is an extraordinary man. No matter how exasperated he became with me, he never lost his capacity to see the other side. He could hear me, even when he was angry. He attacked my ignorance, my ingrained attitudes, and my unconscious habits, and I began to see for the first time how we has denied the Negro his humanity, and how I had been a part of that.”

Upon the successful completion of her enlightenment course, Boyle began a more comprehensive letter-writing campaign to champion the cause of integration. She was able to even get other whites to sign on to some of those articles as supporters of the cause.

She wrote book reviews and freelance articles. She also began to write a regular column in the Charlottesville’s Negro Newspaper. She circulated petitions for the removal of “white only” signs from public facilities, made calls on politicians, religious and civic leaders, urging them to end segregation. Her mission through writing and speaking was to get other whites to understand what she had now come to know as truth about the Negro race–that they too were equal and worthy of the same rights and freedoms as whites. She saw herself as a catalyst and a reconciler between the two races. Her dream was to see white and colored southerners love one another and thus make the southern dream come true for all people. She deeply believed that it was ignorance of the races that led to the unconscious and unintended acts of racial indifference of most whites towards blacks. Perhaps this is why she was among the few whites who joined the NAACP.

It was not until late 1954, that she was taken to the next level of truth, as she came to understand that the inherent good intentions of southern whites was not as she had thought. Seller moved to New York in 1953, but now her teachers and mentors, came from her own race. They taught her from their own hate. From them she saw racism from the eyes of whites who had no love for the Negro. Instead they had pure hate and resentment.

The scene was set for the new course to begin. The decision of Brown v Board of Education was a glorious victory for blacks, but it was met with massive resistance by southern whites. Very soon Boyle saw that most of her white supporters who had agreed with her efforts, now that integration was on its way to becoming a judicially enforced order of the day, they had fallen by the way side, unwilling to support integration. She saw and experienced this with her own eyes, as she attended the public hearing of the Governor’s Special Commission on Public Education. Only six white witnesses, Boyle included, and thirteen blacks, of the first ninety-three witnesses before the commission voiced support for integration. This was the beginning of lessons she was to learn that took her into the heart of the Civil Rights Movement of the 60’s. She wrote:

“It was one of the bitterest disillusionments of my life. I was the only person from Charlottesville who spoke in favor of integration. As far as I know, no one from the university [of Virginia] even attended. I knew that the faculty there was liberal, and polls had shown that they favored change, yet none of them spoke up, even though the state itself was requesting opinions. Who could more properly speak for freedom and equality than professors at Mr. Jefferson’s university? Who could more justifiably speak concerning the future of Virginia’s schools than the educators at our highest institution of learning? But when the time came to stand and speak, they were silent. They would only give private lip service to integration.”

After not being able to get other whites to speak out, Sarah Patton Boyle came to this conclusion:

“Until the Brown decision, I believed people were willing and ready to accept integration. I took lots of opinion samples among all income levels, and I was convinced that no more than 6 or 7 percent of the people were unalterably opposed; the rest were willing, and had they been led by good people, we’d have been okay. But within six weeks after the decision, it was as though a door had been slammed shut. I had every reason to be optimistic until then, now the politicians took over, and the church failed, and the papers failed. It became hard to keep my faith in the South.”

It is so encouraging to see that history bears records of many white Americans who withstood the racist times of yesteryear. From those who aided along the Underground Railroad, to those few slave masters who showed some compassion for their slaves, there were those who adamantly opposed or felt some moral convictions over the issue of slavery.

Today it is also encouraging to know that despite the activity and growth of organized hate groups and individuals who hate, there are white Republicans, Democrats, Independents, and those without a party label, who will no longer condone segregation and racial hatred and indifferences. For this, I take this opportunity on behalf of black Americans to say thank you, and to encourage those who will not tolerate racism and injustice, to use the twenty-first century, and the year 2004 as a landmark, at the racial crossroads of American history, to change the course that America embarked upon, and to once and for all find new paths of racial reconciliation and harmony, so that we all can live as one, and build this great nation together. Thank God there are some who already have arisen to that challenge on their own accord.

As a show of racial reconciliation and his desire to see others follow that same pattern in June of 2004, the former mayor of Chattanooga and U.S. Bankruptcy Judge Ralph Kelley did something in death, which set a pattern for others to follow. What he did even in this day and time is almost unheard of. He had his funeral arrangements handled by a black owned and operated local funeral home, Franklin-Strickland Funeral Home.

According to his widow, her husband and one of the owners of the funeral home, former City Councilman Johnny Franklin were longtime friends, and served together on a mid-1960s committee to prevent racial unrest. He also during his term as mayor of Chattanooga, created a bi-racial commission with five black and five white members.

But what a final statement of one’s life to die and place one’s body in the hands of his dear black friend! It is this kind of gesture that separates those who practice inclusion, from those who preach it without deeds, and those who advocate against it.

I also encourage my fellow white Republicans to follow those patterns of racial reconciliation, rather than resort to racial indifference and silence.
The racial injustices of America’s past are cemented within the very foundations of America, and if America is to be truly blessed, and make a change, she has to uproot and destroy that part of her foundation, which bears any resemblances to racial hatred and indifferences. Then she must relay that foundation again with what is truly consistent with her doctrine of one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty, and justice for all. This can only be done by the “good” white Americans and those of color forming a unified coalition that transcends color, and economic status, who will together take a stand.

I am grateful for the countless white Republican friends throughout Hamilton County, Tennessee, and the United States. They have stood with me despite the cost, and have fought for me, and other African-Americans to have the right to be a Republican, and to be accepted on equal footings.

For those whites who were not aware of what was taking place, I am equally convinced that once they hear and understand the truth, they too will take a stand to embrace and welcome blacks and other minorities into the Republican Party.
So to borrow a phrase from the title of John Egerton’s book, because of this, I gotta mind to stay here in the Republican Party and weather this storm, knowing that if I continue to have the courage to fight, with the help of God, and the godly friends He has given me, …this too shall pass.