The Black Olive Branch Blogger Dr. Jean Howard-Hill

"There is something about the atmosphere within the Republican Party, particularly down South which makes it really hard for even God-fearing Christian Conservatives to openly admit the existence of even the shadow of racism. "

Being that I hail from southern roots, and have had the opportunity to observe for the past 32 years, what it is like to be an African American Republican, I have become somewhat of an expert on how to define "Republican Racism, Southern Christian Conservative Styled". As a researcher, I have studied it, observed it, and have witnessed first hand how it works. It is a strange concept. It is very difficult to understand, and because of its unfortunate ties to Christianity, it is even more difficult to comprehend. Nevertheless, it does exist and is very much alive within our Grand Ole Party.

There is something about the atmosphere within the Republican Party, particularly down South which makes for a very rich and fertile ground for it to be cultivated and nurtured even among those whose hearts may not necessarily be bent upon hating those of other races. This makes it really hard for even some God-fearing Christian Conservatives to openly admit the existence of even the shadow of racism.

It is not because Southern Christian Conservatives do not believe you. In fact, in a one-on-one relationship with them, most will even confirm it, by sharing what they have seen or heard which is evidence of its existence. Many will console privately those who they know are being treated disparately. But when it comes to openly taking a stand against it, this is where most "white lips are sealed". This is why I entitled my book, Black Eyes Shut - White Lips Sealed. To know it exists is one thing, but to admit it openly and say it is wrong, is not something that can be readily done. Perhaps I can explain why.

In defense of those Southern Christian Conservative sisters and brothers of whom I have enjoyed rich spiritual relationships, I do have to say I understand why they go silent when there is an openly mentioning of racism. It goes back to the southern taboo that was associated with those who were labeled with being "nigger lovers".

Historically, a nigger lover was anyone who associated with Blacks or defended them when they were being mistreated. The association part is no longer an issue, simply because of the integration of our society, which makes this almost mute. But the defense of those who are treated unjustly because of the color of their skin, is still as much a part of southern culture, as a cold glass of lemonade or sweet ice tea is on a hot summer southern day.

I have seen how standing up for those of color, impacted even the most loyal of Republicans some years back when a group of older white women, and a dear white brother stood up and spoke out against the way our Caucus and I in particularly were being treated. Immediately they were blackballed! This served as a way of silencing others who would have also spoken out.

I will never forget having my 84 year old dear white Republican friend call me in tears to tell me that she had been cornered after a Pachyderm meeting and threatened by the local party chair, that if she said anything to the press about what was going on, she would not be allowed to participate in the party. So when the reporter from the Times Free Press called her, she denied knowing anything. Despite our friendship, I saw her struggle between doing what was right and what was best for her. She asked my forgiveness for doing this, and because I understood what would have happened had she told the truth, I wasn't so sure if given her situation, I might not have done the same.

The experience with my then 84 year old dear friend was my introduction to what I have termed, "Republican Racism, Southern Christian Conservative Styled".

Not one single individual involved thought of themselves as sinners or someone outside of the church. Matter of fact, they were those who talked the "God talk", and were strong advocates of God and country. They were the type you would find in church on Sunday, singing the loudest in the choir, toting the biggest King James version of the Bible, the Sunday school teacher, the Youth Director, and yes even the one delivering the Sunday morning fire and brimstone message. This literally frightened me! I had never seen anything like it! It was new and foreign, yet it was real.

From this, and all of the experiences that followed, I realized that the remnant of southern culture embedded in racism still existed, and there remained the cardinal rule that Whites do not speak up for Blacks who are being mistreated or go against another White. This made it harder to decry racism among even my spiritual white sisters and brothers. It wasn't because they did not know what I was experiencing. Nor was it because they were blind to knowing racism still existed. But it was because the "Southern Christian" culture was conducive to silence. In fact, it demanded it, lest those who spoke out suffer the consequences. There was empathy and there was even a self acknowledgment of it being wrong, but it had to be done in silence.

This is why, particularly within the South, there are "Republican Christian Conservatives", who will look the other way and not say a word while the practice of racism runs rampant within the GOP. This is why some will distance themselves and shun even those they share sweet spiritual fellowship, should they justly decry racism.

This is not to say that failure itself to speak out and against this kind of wrong makes an individual a racist. I would be the first to admit this.

Although there are many who see it, know it to exist, and keep silent, there are still those who will rise above this strange remnant of southern racist culture and will dare speak out against it. They do so because they understand the true meaning of their spiritual identity as a Christian. So despite the consequences, they are compelled to take a stand. They also realize that this kind of denial does have its consequences, and must be atoned for either now or on the other side of time.

Perhaps they also do so because they understand that the problem with this kind of racial hatred is that you cannot exclusively contain it to racial issues, because hatred of any sort is a disease of the heart, mind and soul, which sooner or later eats away and engulfs the entire body. It also numbs the conscience and distorts truth, where no longer is there any shame or remorsefulness for doing wrong, and it is almost impossible to distinguish between what is right and what is clearly wrong. When this creeps into the spiritual environment, it brings the worse kind of spiritual wickedness, mixed with religious hypocrisy and self-righteous arrogance. Over time, the result is that it causes those who once were true to their Christian identity to become so full of this cancerous disease that they begin to lose any resemblance of GOD. What that means is a weakened ability to truly love others, and to treat all humanity with love, respect and civility, even when we differ in beliefs or opinions and are brothers and sisters born of different ethnicities.

I am afraid this is what we are seeing within the Republican Party - Individuals who have become so eaten up with hatred that their hearts are darkened and full of anger, mean spiritedness, self-righteousness, hatred and hypocrisy, to the point that they no longer are who they say they are.

So when I see all of the bitter contention within the local Hamilton County Republican Party as it moves into re-organization mode, I understand its roots. It simply stems from the denial and failure of those who knew better and did not take a stand to purge racial hatred from its midst. ...And now, that same form of hatred that has its genesis in southern history and stems from generations past has resurfaced and is eating into other areas of society, including politics, writhing havoc.

What is the remedy for "Republican Racism, Southern Christian Conservative Styled", and for prevented it from passing down to the next generation? Perhaps it is as fundamentally simple as invoking a spirit of revival, where there is a searching of the heart and soul, a change in behavior, and a return to what it truly means to be a Christian Conservative.

Local African American Republicans Ask the Hamilton County GOP: WHY?

2011-01-24T18:45:00.000-08:00

See: http://tnraac.blogspot.com/2011/01/local-african-american-republicans-ask.html

NRAAC: What Would Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Think Today?

2011-01-16T22:54:00.000-08:00

See: http://nraac.blogspot.com/2011/01/what-would-dr-martin-luther-king-jr.html

NRAAC Nat’l Chairs Calls for Wisdom and Compassion: Arizona Tragedy

2011-01-13T02:12:00.000-08:00

January 13, 2010

NRAAC Nat’l Chairs Calls for Wisdom and Compassion: Arizona Tragedy

“The victims of the Arizona tragedy deserve neither partisan rhetoric nor statements that defend or shift blame. They deserve a comforting word and a moment to mourn as best they can.” http://nraac.blogspot.com/2011/01/nraac-natl-chair-call-for-wisdom-and.html

Thursday, December 16, 2010 NRAAC Differs With African American Republican Organization in It's support of RNC Chair Michael Steele's Bid for a Second Term

2010-12-16T14:09:00.000-08:00

See: NRAAC Differs With African American Republican Organization in It's support of RNC Chair Michael Steele's Bid for a Second Term http://nraac.blogspot.com/2010/12/nraacs-national-chair-dr.html

Thursday, December 9, 2010 Could Michael Steele's Oust be Racism? We Think Not!

2010-12-16T14:08:00.000-08:00

See: Could Michael Steele's Oust be Racism? We Think Not! at http://nraac.blogspot.com/2010/12/could-michael-steeles-oust-be-racism-we.html

Monday, December 6, 2010 Coming Soon - GOP Woman at RNC Helm - Dec 8, 2010

2010-12-16T14:05:00.000-08:00

See:Coming Soon - GOP Woman at RNC Helm at http://nraac.blogspot.com/2010/12/coming-soon-gop-woman-at-rnc-helm-dec-8.html

Friday, July 23, 2010 Racism in America, …We Have Got to Go There. Got to!

2010-12-16T14:02:00.000-08:00

See: Racism in America, …We Have Got to Go There. Got to! http://nraac.blogspot.com/2010/07/normal-0-false-false-false-en-us-x-none_23.html

IN 2010 THE CALL FOR A REPUBLICAN SPIRITUAL AND POLITICAL REVIVAL

2010-01-02T21:53:00.000-08:00

In September 2009, I received my first Republication newsletter, since not having been included on any Tennessee mailing or e-mail list since 2002. I was pleased to see my name once again placed on a Republican mailing list after having been excluded.

In the newsletter, I saw many worthwhile causes that had been championed by some Tennessee Republican Legislators during the last legislative session. Included was the Mental Health Screening Bill which required informed written consent prior to any mental health screening of children and prohibited the coercion of parents to give their children drugs which could be deadly or cause psychotropic effects. I was especially pleased to see law enacted to grant the diplomas of homeschoolers the same status of those enrolled in public and private schools. This is an issue dear to me, since I homeschooled my daughter who is now the 2009 Truman Scholar from the State of Tennessee. The newsletter was well written, and was not the usual religious hysterical approach to political issues. Also, there were other issues discussed in the newsletter of which, even if we could not agree in totality, I was confident that the majority of the members of our Hamilton County Republican African American Caucus, Tennessee Republican African American Caucus, and National Republican African American Caucus could rally behind as well, because of a common ideologically and belief.

But what struck my attention most, was the quote marked in bright red that was on the front of the publication. It read: “Freedom is not a gift bestowed upon us by other men, but a right that belongs to us by the laws of God.”

I pondered these words quoted from Benjamin Franklin, as I leafed through the newsletter. I could not help but wonder just how many Republicans truly believed this when it came to people of color. I tried to reconcile the quote with the reality of what had happened to members of the Hamilton County Republican African American Caucus, the Tennessee Republican African American Caucus and the National African American Caucus, when we tried to exercise the freedom to be Republicans.

Despite the fact that many African Americans, especially those within the churched populations share some of the same core values of the Republican Party, as in the case of our membership, they have not been seriously invited or welcomed into the GOP ranks. Either those of color are not seen as being worthy of this precious gift of freedom which is a God given right, predicated upon the higher laws of God, or somewhere along the way, some white Republicans have missed the mark in accepting this truth. What is apparent, is that there is a double standard for political freedom within the Republican Party when it comes to African Americans. We realize that to state this so bluntly, is to open ourselves to accusations of “using the race card”.

The issue of race remains a very sensitive one within America and particularly among some White Republicans. If you raise this issue, even with legitimate cause and documented proof, it is viewed by some as playing the race card. You are told to just let it go or to go away, and even to just suck it up and take it. If you press the issue too far, you may even find yourself blackballed, excluded and barred from meaningful participation. But the alternative to this is even worse. Because if you remain silent and say nothing, or if you go away, those who indeed are guilty, grow stronger and are able to further erode the very foundation of freedom to participate as citizens within the political process. This makes it not so much about race, but rather the fundamental right of every American citizen to fully participate in government. Therefore, when anyone is excluded from the democratic process, which we boast of as being the foundation of freedom, it is not just a racial issue, but it is un-American, and is a constitutional infringement upon the freedom Benjamin Franklin envisioned as being a right which no human has the power to take from any individual, because it is a decreed law of God.

What Franklin speaks of, is the same freedom in which African American Republicans in every state are entitled to have. Therefore, rather than seeing it as raising the race card, it should be seen as the right of citizens of color to assert the right not to have race or mean spirited politics at the local, state and national levels be used to bar us from full participation within the Republican Party. Having said that, we have shared our story of being denied that freedom, in hopes that those who believe in this quote, will endeavor to understand the need to make it applicable to all American citizens. In doing so, it is not our intention to bring harm or embarrassment to the Republican Party. Also, it was never our intention to air this issue outside of the Party. But because we have made every effort for many years to have this issue addressed at all levels, and have not been successful, we have ask for the assistance of the media in reaching those at the grassroots level, and those in elected and appointed positions within the Party, who are willing to extend the base of the Party to include those of color.

We also recognize and acknowledge that there are those within the Republican Party across America, and even some within my home state of Tennessee, who are accepting of African Americans, and have extended their own olive branches. For this we are pleased. We also know that there are those who would be more accepting, but for the political retaliation and consequences of going against those at the helm of elected and appointed leadership who have refused to accept us, which would result in jeopardizing their own political fate. Nevertheless, for the good of the party, we urge those who do not condone these kinds of practices to break the silence and to distinguish themselves from those who have marred the party with racism, mean spirited, and religious hypocrisy.

There has to be a political revival within the Republican Party. One which will cause the conscious and souls of those within the party, and especially clergy and those who claim to be people of faith, to open their minds and hearts to accept those of color into their ranks, without relegating them to a token few, who can only be accepted because they are willing to be less than equal. One which will put an end to overt and blatant acts of racism and mean spiritedness, which runs counter to moral principles. One that will help those who do not feel this way, to understand that when they keep silent, and fail to speak out against the wrong or fail to extend a warm embrace to those of color, that it makes it seem that all white Republicans are racist and mean spirited – even those of faith.

There has to be a spiritual revival where no longer race is an issue within the Republican Party. It is then, and only when this happens, that we can enjoy the collective strength and cohesiveness of a party which truly represents those who espouse some of the same core values in which we all hold so dear.

There also has to be a spiritual revival, which takes us back to our original purpose. One which makes us the grand party in which we once were. One which returns us to rational and well thought out positions on issues, and not mere religious hysteria, which makes us appear to be unreasonable, uncompassionate and out of touch with the majority of American citizens who are suffering.

We must not only take the higher ground morally, but we also have to practice and live what we preach. Lest our own words condemn us. We cannot pick and choose what is right or morally just which is tailored only to our political agenda. Nor can we look the other way when we do wrong, while pointing a finger of moral superiority at those who oppose us. How we live and govern, have to be predicated upon a much higher standard, which governs those who are people of faith, that does not fluctuate to meet our political expediency.

We can no longer afford to take the low ground with mean spirited ads and oppositional rhetoric. But rather, speak well documented truth, which also can speak to the heart and conscious of the American people. When we retort with nasty and mean spirited rhetoric, which also involves God, which is no more than our own form of moral invention, then we are in error. Who we are in our faith, should manifest itself in how we deal with each other and with even those who oppose our views. Finding common grounds when at all possible is crucial, just as much as sticking to our convictions on issues that go to the heart of what we believe should be our goal. But never should our fight be one which relieve upon intentional dissemination of facts which we know to be untrue or slanted truth. Nor should what we do, be predicated upon selfish motives and religious bigotry.

We have to realize that to be at war with those who differ, is not always the most expedient solution. Regardless of whether someone shares our core values or not, we have to respect their right to differ. It is our actions that will speak louder than our religious rhetoric. What they see, should be a party which cares so much about the fate of America, that it is willing to do whatever is necessary to preserve its freedom, its safety, its well being and its moral foundation, so that it truly can be a nation under God’s rich blessings, with liberty and respect for the rights of other, and justice afforded to those who have been denied. This is the pledge we so proudly make each time we pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America.

Compassion and wisdom has to dictate our actions. Reasoning and the willingness to sit down at the table and be able to listen to all sides of the issues, and to even try to see opposing views from the eyes of the other side is a part of who we should be as a party. Being able to work together as one, both partisanly and bipartisanly, and knowing when to lay down our swords and enter into a compromise on issues, which are so vitally important to the American people. But also knowing when to pick up those same swords and fight for a cause, which we know to be right and just. This should be our goal.

We have to birth forth strong leaders who are willing to move to the forefront as our spokes persons, rather than leaving it up to self-appointed voices that may or may not always share the sentiment of the party or be the voice of reasoning. We should not be searching just for leaders as presidential candidates, when what we need is everyday common sense leadership, which works for the best interest of the party. We need everyday leaders who lead by example and are full of reasoning, wisdom, knowledge and understanding. They also must have a heart for the people and their motives must not be self-serving.

America is at a crossroad, and so is the Republican Party. History will record what we do now and how we regain our political footage as a majority party. It also will contrast what we were when the party was first birthed, and where we have evolved today. If we return to truly being the party of Lincoln as we lay claim to being, then we also have to change that which does not resemble it. There was a time when the Republican Party stood tall as the champion of the people, and was willing to press beyond injustices and a nation divided and torn over the issue of the inequalities and inhumanity of slavery, to reconstructing itself as one nation. With so many people hurting in America today because of the economy, and those families that are in jeopardy each day of losing loved ones because of war, we have to be mindful of what we can do as a party to make a difference. This is the core value of the Republican Party – bringing the nation together with wisdom, justice, and compassion, rather than dividing it.

How we deal with injustices; how we attend to the needs of those subjected to a failing economy; how we work together to rebuild this nation; and how we are viewed by others should be our focus. For if we brand ourselves as being the party of Lincoln or the moral party, then we also have to assume the role of fulfilling the responsibilities that come with doing so.

We do see glimmers of hope, lest our hope fades. We see that in former First Lady Laura Bush. What an example of intelligence, class and womanhood. She is greatly admired because she wears the GOP label with not only grace, pose and dignity, but also with a spirit of reasoning, a strength of character and a willingness to be her own person. Mrs. Bush gives us hope that there are others within the Republican Party who are compassionate and who are not nasty, mean spirited and hypocritical. She is one who truly lives and practices her faith, and it clearly shows.

She is not hysterical and quick to criticize just for the sake of creating an “holier than thou” or partisan divide. Even despite the rocky road she and former President Bush endured in the White House, she is not bitter. Instead, she is rational and can understand the bittersweet road any president, regardless of party affiliation must thread in being president of the United States of America. She is encouraging. She is refreshing, and she is endearing. Thank you former First Lady Laura Bush for even being someone I see as a personal mentor.

As the national chair for the National Republican African American Caucus and its state and local caucuses, we continue to desire to be a part of this Grand Ole Party, and we have renewed hope that there are those who will welcome us. We extend a fresh olive branch to those within the Republican Party who can welcome and will embrace us with the belief that people of a darker hue are also entitled to the same freedom so profoundly stated in Benjamin Franklins’ quote.

Having such hope, we extend an olive branch, a helping hand, and a willingness to join you at the table of reasoning, to work together for the good of the party and for the good of this great nation.

We await and welcome your olive branch to us. …And for those (especially those of faith) who will say, we did not know all of this was happening to people of color? Now you know, and now you have the opportunity to do something about it by extending your own olive branch, which ignites this political as well as spiritual revival!

As a party, we talk a lot about spiritual revival for our nation. But first let it begin in us. For when the nation sees the God in us, as we do what is right and as we conduct ourselves in a godly manner and live by the same godly principles we preach, then they will believe our testimony of who God is, and will be encouraged also to do what is right. …Because in God’s Eyes, there are no Republicans, Democrats or Independents. Just His children of whom He dearly loves and desires to do the right thing towards each other, regardless of party affiliation. This is what it will take to truly “heal the land”.

"With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in; to bind up the nation's wounds; to care for him who shall have borne the battle, and for his widow and his orphan - to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace, among ourselves, and with all nations."
-- March 4, 1865 - Lincoln's Second Inaugural Address

A Candid Republican Diagnosis

2009-12-03T07:31:00.000-08:00

One of the things I have surmised from my 30 years of being a Republican, is that the Republican Party that I came into in 1979 as an idealistic college graduate and was welcomed, is now not the same party. There has been an even greater identity switch than that which historically took place in the 60s.

In making such a broad statement, I need to clarify that my Republican experiences come from a southern prospective. What I have found is that all African American Republicans are not created the same. For example, in states such as Ohio, African American Republicans have and continue to be a part of the political mix of the party without resistance. Therefore, it would be totally unfair to label them as politically deprived or to suggest they have endured racial injustices. However, in states such as Tennessee, which is also my home state, it is quite an opposite scenario. So how African Americans are treated in the party is determined more by region and the mindset of those in leadership within those regions, which can be the difference between night and day.

Where there is political parity within the Republican Party for Blacks, we applaud it and are greatly encouraged. We also do not want to unjustly place everyone under any label, which they do not duly deserve. Therefore, I want to proceed with extreme caution not to do this. However, we do not want to disillusion ourselves with thinking that every state and every Republican experience is the same. We have to allow for all of them as polar opposite as they may be. However, there is one consensus we all can share and that is there is far too few of us involved in the party at meaningful local, state and national levels, and this has to change.

Regardless, we have to take a serious look at the Republican Party, see where we have gone wrong, and try to get back on track if we wish to share the loyalty of the Black vote that was once enjoyed from Reconstruction to the 1960s.

What I have identified as a major factors contributing to the lack of Black participation and loyalty that is so heftily enjoyed by the Democratic Party, is that we have undergone a switched identity that has been birthed out of Greed, Territorialism, Mean Spiritedness, Racism and Religious Hypocrisy.

As the economy tightens, "greed" has surfaced even more, as those who have, press harder to keep what they have, and to cushion themselves with more. As I have shared with my daughter, “We only live one lifetime, but greed will cause one to store up that which they cannot use within that lifespan or take with them in death.” Golden Nuggets of Wisdom to My Daughter LaShunda___JHH.

If government interfering in business or the lives of the wealthy means securing the wealth or as in the case of the bailouts, it acts as a financial safety net, then it is regarded as a function of government. However, when it means bailing out those who are losing homes and are unemployed, or who require some form of healthcare, we scuff at its reality with opposition for how much it will cost taxpayers. Originally, I supported the bailout, only because I believed it would stimulate the economy by proving financial stability to the markets, and in turn help to keep small businesses from going under. But as we have seen, small businesses are the last to receive the benefits.

There also is something else that is interesting about "greed". It is willing to do what is unprincipled to protect what it hordes. In doing so, it often turns a deaf ear to those who are suffering. We clearly see this. In Congress, 44 percent of its lawmakers are millionaires. This is in contrast to only one percent of Americans being millionaires. Even the medium income of those who are not, is $622,254, which makes it very difficult for them to understand the plight of the average American citizen who is struggling.

None of the members of Congress, Republican, Democrat or Independent is struggling to keep a roof over their heads, food on the table, a car and gas to go in it. They do not have to be concerned if they are sick. They have one of the best health coverage plans in America. Retirement is of no concern to them. If they can manage to stay long enough, their retirement benefits are assured. This is quite to the contrary of many Americans who are in desperate straits with each day that the economy worsens, they fall further and further into despair.

Some members of Congress even hold assets in some of the very same companies that have received TARP (bailout money), including Bank of America and Goldman Sachs. So it is like the fox guarding the chicken house. This shows that "greed" is not anything that is unique to politics and is a disease on both sides of the aisles. But seemingly it appears that Republicans are more guilty of it symptoms when it comes to who gets what from our government and at what cost.

"Territorialism" is another system of Republican politics as I have witnessed in Tennessee. In my home state, it has caused some in power, such as former TNGOP Chair Robin Smith and Congressman Zach Wamp to covet that power so much that they become so "mean spirited" that they are ruthlessly willing to do anything to keep it! If it means cutting throats, then throats are cut. If it means destroying a person’s reputation or credibility, then it is done. If it means black balling those who are perceived as competition or rivals, then there is no problem with this. The Gatekeeper's Spirit consumes those who watch day and night to protect and keep out those who might cease or share a portion of that power. This is unfortunate because what it does is prevents full participation within the democratic process by those who perhaps would have made meaningful contributions.

Democracy is a precious concept, which allows citizen’s participation at the individual level through direct participation, and through the representative level afforded to us by those elected. But when it is seized and is horded by only a few, and God forbids if that few are less than qualified or principled, then what we have is a party which lacks leadership and direction. In many ways, this is exactly what has happened to the Republican Party. This is why we have anyone who can scream the loudest, say the most ridiculous things get the media's attention, write a book and become front center spotlighted, and become self anointed as the almighty leaders and spokespersons of the Republican Party.

“Racism” is another issue within the Republican Party and especially in Tennessee! Quite to the contrary, racism is not dead! But the other side of the coin is that not all White Americans or White Republicans are racists. Also, we have to acknowledge that the ghost of past racial sins has also haunted the Democratic Party. It has a long history of slavery and racial prejudice and violence towards blacks. It is often overlooked that it was the racist demons within the Democratic Party that enslaved us, and fought so bitterly and violently, prior to 1965 to keep us from obtaining equal rights. This has been barely a generation ago, if we count a generation as a forty-year period. But despite that, today less often in the Democratic Party is there a perceived threat of racism. The election of our country’s first African American president is proof positive of that. Not in my lifetime would I have thought this was possible! But it did happen. It is obvious that there is a shift in those who were once racists, having flocked to the Republican Party. We need look no further than the insidious racial incidents that occurred in Tennessee during the 2008 presidential race or the way in which African American Republicans like myself and those members of the National Republican African American Caucus have been treated.

Also, when you contrast the two parties in terms of their racial positions, there are more African-American Democrats at the table, which suggest they have been included and not excluded. While in the Republican Party, there are few to no African-Americans at the table. In Congress, there is not one African American Republican member in the House or Senate! So when the Republican Party talk about it being the “Party of Lincoln” and attempts to persuade Blacks to join its national ranks, it is hard to sell because we do not see anyone who looks like us in a national elected position. This begs the question of “Party of Lincoln” is not more willing to embrace those of whom the party under President Lincoln was willing to go to war to free, as worthy of national elected leadership.

[We will leave the election of RNC Steele for another discussion. ….Ummm? ….Interesting. Thank you President Obama and the Democratic Party for prompting the gift. But not so sure about whether or not it is truly a gift or a cover.]

Regardless, there still are some who cannot phantom that racism could be an issue within the Republican Party. Therefore to mention it, is to suggest that the race card is being played. Then there are those who are fully aware that it still exists, because they are the ones nurturing and keeping it alive. Second cousin to them are the ones who become angry at the mentioning of the sins of White America from the not so far past, which still have not been properly atoned. Not realizing that it is better to just say "uncle", admit it happened, change and move forth. But to deny it and to say get over it, or to pretend it does not exist, while at the same time being the perpetrator, is just as hurtful and offensive to present victims of racism, as it was to those who were victims of it in the past.

No one wants any more than African Americans, including myself, to once and for all have racism removed from America and to get beyond the horrors of the past. This is why like many other African Americans, I have has done everything White America has said is required to acquire a place at the table and a piece of the American dream; to have some boots and a strap in which to pull myself up. However, as much as I would love to believe this and would like to move pass race, my experiences with Tennessee Republican politics will not permit me to do so. Because I realize that despite Tennessee being not only in the Bible Belt, but also considered the "buckle", there is still racism coming from those who say they walk with, hear from, live for, and serve God. This no doubt is the most disheartening of it all – racism mixed with religion.

Racism coming out of the church and from those who are considered godly is scary, because out of this same mixture came the nightriders of the Ku Klux Klan, with the white sheets and burning crosses! It also is an affront to the very God we say and preach is a Just and Righteous God. So this is something in which White Christians have to be careful not to fall prey to it, as a repeat of history.

Fortunately, there are those White Christians who have walked color blindly, not seeing color, but just the God in their sisters and brothers. This is what it is going to take in order for there to be a true Republican revival of the conscious and spirit, which brings the party back into its intended purpose. More importantly, what we must do is be careful and mindful to live and practice what we teach, so that we do not fall victims to our own hypocrisy.

So one might ask of me, why is it that a well educated, outspoken, African American women who also is a member of the clergy, still stays in a party where she has not been welcomed? It is because I believe in redemption and hope. Therefore, I stay. I fight the good fight, and I lead the way in my home state in changing the political atmosphere that is slowly, but surely killing the good that is still left in Republican politics. By extending a black olive branch to my Republican sisters and brothers of faith, hopefully, those who know right from wrong will take a stand, and those who claim they know God will accept the olive branch, as we recruit "People of spirit and faith, working together, extending an olive branch, to bring about positive impact through involvement and leadership in politics within the Republican Party."

Part Nine: Thoughts On The Obama Inauguration And The Republican Party

2009-12-01T12:41:00.000-08:00

[Excerpts from my article posted on Chattanoogan.com, January 2008]

Thoughts On The Obama Inauguration And The Republican Party - And Response
by Jean Howard-Hill
posted January 26, 2009

The day was like none I had seen. I had been asked by the Chattanooga Times Free Press to give my reflections from the day for a feature Sunday article. I wrote:

Coming from a lineage of slavery, and as an infant of the civil rights era, I rejoice to see this day! For it was just yesterday that Fannie Lou Hammer was beaten in a Mississippi jail for registering to vote. Blacks were lynched, hanging from trees as strange fruit for wanting to be free and to exercise their rights as citizens. Even my own story is one of personal impact of racial hatred. I was born in Alabama, because my family fled from Georgia to Alabama, and then to Chattanooga to escape the KKK and segregated schools and inferior facilities. The beatings, the dogs, the hoses. The injustices and inhumanity. Who among us dared dream this day would come? But at last, it has.

Casting my vote for Obama, I swelled with pride. Seeing him accept the nomination, I wept. But when he was sworn in as the 44th president of the United States of America, I saw with my own eyes, the prayers of many generations answered. No words can adequately express what I feel. There is weeping. There is joy. There is hope. Yet there is fear predicated from knowing, not all of America will celebrate. Not all will rejoice. But there is hope that we are on our way to removing racial barriers that stain our nation’s history. There is hope in a nation whose people looked beyond the color of one’s skin and elected one of color to lead our nation. Yet as in the days of Nehemiah when the wall was completed and you could not distinguished weeping from those who rejoiced, I too both weep and rejoice. My heart is heavy because the pain inflicted from an era of inhumanity and my personal experiences has left many scares. Yet my spirit rejoices to see this day.

I capsulated those thoughts and sent them off, but they did not totally reflect all that I truly felt. I wasn’t sure if any writing could do that. However, I knew I had to leave a record of those emotions and feelings that embodied my very soul, so that my daughter would know and have a better feel of this historical moment, as she passed it on to her children and her children’s children.

From the eve of the inauguration until dawn, I was restless. I tossed and turned. My heart was with the Obamas. I prayed for President Elect Obama, his wife and his two daughters. I saw the beauty of family in them. The preciousness of their two daughters found a special place in my heart. I thought about just how they must feel, and that perhaps even they weren’t so sound asleep knowing what lie ahead of them.

When I did doze off, the racial realities of yesterday dominated my thoughts and brought about restlessness throughout the night. The horrors of slavery, the civil rights era, and my own personal experiences of racial injustices caused me to be overwhelmed.

I remembered my own history. The segregated lunch counters, having to drink from the “colored only” water fountains, being chased by whites as we took short cuts through white communities, attending segregated schools and using out-dated text books, being called a nigger, my father being called boy, the humiliation and insults, the fear of not feeling safe, and especially losing the birthright to my birthplace because of the Klan that sought to take my father’s life, all played before me in a recap of my history.

I awaken with so many mixed emotions about this great historic day. I was happy, yet I was saddened. I rejoiced, yet I wept. I had hope, yet I felt so frustrated. Because although many celebrated, and especially those of us who came from a lineage of slavery, I knew as an African American Republican, today’s political milestone was still an upheaval for those like me, who knew the true story of racial discrimination, black tokenism, and the white walls of silence that still existed within the Republican party.

While my sisters and brothers of color celebrated, I felt like those who after the Emancipation Proclamation were still held by the clutches of their slave masters with none to afford them real and true freedom. African American Democrats had something they could call a milestone in racial equality, because their party had moved beyond racial hatred and political lines of color to elect the first African American president. But for me, I felt even more the fist of the Jim Crow laws of the Republican Party like a noose around my neck, so much that I felt politically strangled. That noose restricted those of color in the party who were not among the token chosen, or those who went along to get along and be included. My spirit was still bound by a form of Republican slavery, which ignored the cries of those who were victims, and silenced those who spoke out against it. It was bound by secret Republican Jim Crow laws that barred those of color who dared think themselves equal to whites, and relegated even those who were qualified to bow down and get behind those who had lesser qualifications or no qualifications at all to serve or be elected. My party had become a party where you need only have money and the ability to crush those who you felt to be a threat in order to rise to power. I knew this all too well because I was among those bound, blackballed, crushed and silenced.

This day brought to mind that my struggle to remove that noose began around the 2001 Inauguration of President G.W. Bush. Both my daughter and I were there for that occasion, just as many were gathered today. Now eight years later, and even after having written the book, Black Eyes Shut, White Lips Sealed in 2004, still no one was willing to right the wrong or to even speak of it openly. Though well documented the wrongs that had been done, no one dared even acknowledge what I had written. African Americans being purposely and cruelly excluded from the Republican Party was not something which caused public outcry. Perhaps it was because it involved those in elected and appointed power, who were tied to the Republican money base. It was like a secret revealed as loud as thunder, being silenced by a whisper not to make my story known, with hopes that in time, it would go away. But because it is a story of truth, truth never dies. It only bides its time.

No matter how I have pled for help and to have this wrong made right, I have seen those from the local to the state, to the national levels ignore that plea, and white republican lips remain sealed tight. But what grieves me most was that those sealed lips were among those who counted themselves as people of faith and religious conviction. As I witnessed this, I have come to the place where I no longer believed in the god of the white Republicans I have encountered within the party; those who speak religion but practice their own brand of righteousness. I do not know their god – a god who allowed for a double standard of justice for some, and injustice for others, based upon the color of their skin. Theirs is a god of tokenism, who prefers only one or two of color and not the masses. A god who tolerates racial hatred, and is willing to turn his head and pretend it does not exist. A god who lacks compassion, and tolerates injustice. I fear their god, because of the hypocrisy, cruelty and bigotry I see in those who claimed to follow after such a god.

But for my own faith and knowledge of a God of Justice whose standards do not change, and who has no respect of person, I would have lost my faith.

I sat thinking about all of this, as I grew heavier and even more grieved in spirit. I tried so hard to lift myself up in the glory of this moment of history which I witnessed in this day. The more I tried the heavier and more grieved I became.

As I retired for the evening, I went on to Chattanoogan.com after not having gone on for a few weeks. There were postings that further vexed my spirit, and made my burden of the day even heavier. I saw those who spoke of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., yet rendered a deaf ear to my plea against racial injustices within the Republican Party. I saw those who had practiced racism, exclusion and mean spirited politics, gather, and some now being supported to move on to seek other levels of elected office. I saw many of whom, whose qualifications did not begin to equal mine be in positions of elected and appointed Republican leadership. I saw those with money gather in support to ensure they got the money they needed to further this practice. I saw the same old political regime, some even crossing party lines, covering and supporting each other, to ensure their own support, re-election and appointment. I even saw how being on the so called “wrong end” of politics had affected my ability to be appointed to a local position, because of his alignment with my opponent. I saw how blackballing is not just political, but it has far greater impact. With all of this so obviously starring me in the face, I became overwhelmed with injustices to the point that I cried out to God.

“Lord how long will you allow your name to be used and your righteousness mocked by those who clothe themselves in it, only for their individual and selfish political and financial gain? How long will the people remain blinded to all of this? How long will you remain silent and allow those whose hearts are breaking to continue to be subject to those whose god is their own greed, and selfish quest for power!? How long will you sit back before you judge right from wrong?”

I felt my frustrations mounting, and I knew on this of all days, neither my heart, nor my spirit could bear this insult. On a day when the world was witnessing a new level of freedom, I realized just how out of touch the old Republican regime was. The old way of politics as usual, sickened me. I wanted no parts of it.

There was silence.

It was as if there was a pause in the heavenlies where that which was in heaven was attentive to that which was on earth. I froze in that moment of time. It ended as I looked and this e-mail had come in from one of my former UTC students who happened to be white, and now was in law school. It came at just the right time. It was as if God was using this e-mail to speak to me, to let me know that there was a new generation who was different, and that there was hope for change among a new generation, just as it had been with Democrats. In part, the e-mail read:

January 20, 2009

9:14 p.m.

Hi Second Mom!

I was just thinking of you today during the Inauguration. I was just thinking of things that you had to go through during your lifetime and how significant it is for you to see Obama become the President. I'm sure you are excited, and I am too. :) It's just amazing to me that in one person's lifetime that there can be such racism and segregation to see the dream of Martin Luther King, Jr partially realized. It is truly amazing. And not just that, but the fact that he was born the child of a single, moderately incomed mother with the odds stacked against him and he made it. I'll admit... I was not a huge Obama supporter, but I can realize the importance of this day and the struggles and adversities he has faced to get to where he was... I just wish that you were representing the people of Tennessee as well. I also want you to know that I, and my family, voted for you during the election. I know the outcome isn't what we had hoped, but I am, and forever will be, a Lady J supporter! I know that you have a heart for people, and I truly hope that you are given the opportunity to share that with more than your students at UTC.

Paige

I e-mailed her back saying:

Dearest Paige:

I needed this e-mail.

It was a very emotional day for me today. Also, I realize just how much Republican racism has played a part in blocking me from doing just those things you mention.

Thanks for the encouragement. It meant so much to me. It gives me hope in your generation, and the generations to come.

Also happy to hear about your successful semester in law school. You can do it. I have faith in you!

Let me know when the wedding will take place. You know I will be there.

Love you sooooooo much,

Your Second Mom

Her response was:

January 20, 2009

10:43 p.m.

It was an emotional day for many people, and it has also been an uplifting, amazing, inspiring day for MILLIONS of people. I personally believe that educators, LIKE YOU, have a huge part in events like today. You have one of the most important jobs in the world - you inspire, teach, and lead young minds. I know you have had a HUGE impact on me, and I carry lessons you taught with me... Like I told you, when I came to school and they said that there were 3 branches of government, I quickly said there were 4. I want to thank you for all you do everyday. It may go unrecognized by some, but not all.

I also have a renewed hope in my generation. It makes me proud to be an American.

Also, something I meant to tell you in my last email - one of my professors today called class off and we all sat and watched the Inauguration speech. She reminds me a lot of you. Her name is Shirley Howell, and is a Torts professor here at Jones School of Law. She told us a moving story about being in an elementary school classroom and seeing National Guard armored vehicles outside. Going from that to today is truly remarkable and worthy of MUCH celebration.

In a simple e-mail exchange, God used one of my former white students to encourage me at the very moment when I wanted to just throw up my hands and walk away from politics forever.

I had seen those less qualified and even unqualified move to the front of the line in leadership in the party, while those African Americans like myself who were more than qualified were blackballed and excluded. Yet the party talked of inclusion and paraded those of whom it could control to attempt to make the case that the party was inviting of African Americans. I saw how many African American Republicans were used and when they no longer were willing to conform, they were let out to pasture. I also saw how they pitted one black against another through limited and undeserved appointments and political goodies.

The reality is that if I was a white Republican, I would have a place at the table and no doubt, would have been appointed or elected to office. It wasn’t about winning an election or getting an appointment. It certainly was not about the political goodies. It never was. It was about political equality and opportunity for all races within the Republican Party. It was about doing what was right. For me, it was about truly loving and serving the people, putting aside differences and breaking down barriers that separate good people from doing good things, for the right reasons, and not about selfish gain or power. She was right. I did have a heart for people, and because of that, I ached to know that not even they fully understood this.

As new history unfolded and past history was reflected upon throughout the day, I thought about how I had come into the Republican Party in 1979 during the Reagan era as a promising young Democrat, who had a bright political future. I thought about the price I had paid, as well as the price other African American Republicans have paid to wear the Republican label to no avail. As someone of color who is Republican, it is like wearing a scarlet letter which causes you to be suspect to those of your own race and relegated to abuse by those who find you dispensable and insignificant to their political base. Since most African Americans are not openly Republicans, the party has adopted a policy of doing whatever they wish to the few who are there, because we carry no political capital. Getting other African Americans to understand this and why someone of color has to cross the line, as the lamb for the slaughter in order to effect change also carries it burdens and bruises. It is difficult for most to understand. Therefore, you risk everything to make that lonely and treacherous journey of change. I had taken that risk in 1979 when I decided to become a Republican.

I thought about how I have given all of these years of my life as a Republican, heading national organizations and recruiting people of color to the Republican Party, only to find that the party wants our vote, but not the voice of real African American leadership at the table or in leadership. I remembered being called a nigger. I recalled how those I had recruited along with me were not welcomed. I knew how I had been targeted and excluded simply because I was a threat to those who could not control me and could not use me as a token black to do their dirty work.

I had come to know that if you are an African American Republican willing to be told what you should believe and what issues you should or should not address, then you are accepted. But to be an independent thinker who has the intellect and ability to arrive at your own decisions and core values, you become a threat if you are of color. That threat factor causes you to be quarantined and excluded. This is what has happened to me, and to many other of my Republican brothers and sisters of color across the country. Those who conform are put on display. But those who will not conform find themselves Republicans in name only. We talk about this among ourselves. We hurt silently. Some who because of positions that impact their livelihood simply close their eyes and just go along with the flow, accepting tokenism, and the noose around their necks, rather than have no place in the party. Sad to say, there are even those who have convinced themselves that to conform is the American way. While there are a few who have found a rare breed of white Republicans in leadership who can look beyond color, and accept us into their ranks. But this is something which is becoming indeed rare.

Watching the Obama girls today beam with joy and such political innocence, I thought about how my daughter beginning at the tender age of 5 had to witness political racism. I thought about the tears she shed, as she looked into my eyes and saw my hurt. Or as she sat there with those who didn’t regard her presence as being important, as they poured out racial cruelties. After the death of my husband, she was with me every step of the way, and was privy to the ugliness of politics. Because of this, I struggled to keep her spirits lifted, and to prevent her belief in the goodness of mankind from being tarnished. I did not want her to grow up believing all whites were racists. I did not want her to lose confidence in her ability to bring about change. Although it has made her strong, I prayed that Sasha and Malia never would have to face what my child had encountered most of her 21 years.

Despite the fact that I have come to know a form of racism which is religiously justified and deemed necessary to preserve a predominantly white republican powerbase, I have found among the grass roots, some white Republicans who do not adhere to these kinds of practices. They are rarely found among appointed or elected leadership, but they mostly are among those who have not been tainted by racist and mean spirited politics. Often they are on the outskirts of the political base and have no knowledge of what has been done. They simply vote Republican without regard for who the candidate is, which makes them a partner to injustices and racism. This is unfortunate because some of them are my sisters and brothers of whom I share in the knowledge of their God. Then there are those who have arose with courage to say racism is wrong. But for having some of them offer me consolation and support, my burden and my grief would be even greater to bear. Nevertheless, the general rule is to shun the one of color who is being shunned by the party, even if you know of the wrong. Out of fear of being the one to side with the one of color or be a witness to the wrong done, many would rather do so, than to lose out on the opportunities that are handed out by those in power.

I also have found something else to be strange within the Republican ranks. The word of someone of color, even if it is true and can be proven to be so, is almost never taken over that of someone who is white. When you see this happen, it crushes the very spirit of truth within the soul.

I saw how those with money gave in return for favor, and those who received using it for their personal gain, and to buy the favor and bind those who were elected.

These were all truths of which I reflected upon that battled with my peace, and competed with my sense of pride and excitement to see the first African American president elected. I also knew that my pain, just as had been done with my book, probably never would be revealed. I simply had lost faith and confidence in those who had it within their power to unseal it to do so. Yet on today, my story stirred within me, and could not be quieted. It arose as a cloud of witnesses and dominated even the historic moment of the day. I could not watch the inauguration without that cloud hanging over my head and penetrating my thoughts.

How I wished this was a true moment in history where the theme of unity and oneness of our nation was shared as a part of the Republican agenda. But the reality of it not being so made the cloud of my own history all the more painful.

Around 3:07 a.m., as a new day had been ushered in, I tried to close my eyes, and think about only the good that had happened within the historic moment of the day. Knowing that I too had to move on without seeing that milestone in Republican history where the party has moved beyond color and is inspired to govern with compassion and to do the right thing, I was convinced now more than ever that my work within the Republican Party was not finished, and perhaps never would be. For years I had worked so hard to make this happen. I had spent 28 years trying to bring the party of Lincoln back to its roots, and to provide a place where people of color could truly be represented at the table, to see it seemingly be all in vain. Change had to come to Republicans, but I did not know the course this should take, nor did I believe any longer that I could be that catalyst. I was tired. I was weary. I was worn. The battles I had fought had become far too impossible for a party that was not willing to change. I also wasn’t sure if remaining in the middle as an Independent was the answer.

I asked God for a visible sign of “His Will” for my life. My fleece was in two parts: If Obama won the democratic nomination and if he was elected president. This would be my sign that it was time for me to return to the safe haven and welcoming arms of the Democratic Party. This is where I wanted to be. For so long, I longed to be where I was wanted and could be accepted. The price I had paid in leaving to fight a battle which had to be fought within the Republican ranks was immeasurable. Only my daughter and I could measure it in its toll upon our lives. Although I refused to return defeated, I knew I had done all I could to bring about change and had many scars to prove it. Because of this, my leaving does not signal defeat. But rather, the end of an era, just as today’s events marked the end of an era and the beginning of something new. Whatever it signaled, what I was fully convinced of was that I have to continue to try to invoke a spirit of change, and carry it through impossible odds, overcoming the wealth and power of those who would resist change, driving it through the cruel and miry waters of racism, politics as usual and greed, to penetrate and bring down the political walls of economic and social resistance and racial barriers. It was a new day, a new generation; a new time and a new way of rebuilding America. This was something that had to be done in order to make it truly a land of the free and one which represents all people, regardless of race, religion and creed.

I share my innermost personal thoughts with you LaShunda, so that you can enter this into the archives of our family history and hand it down to your children, so that they can know and understand their political history.

Forever I love you my princess, and I thank you for being by my side during these years of political struggle. Now “together”, we will take courage to move forth to bring about good not for ourselves, but for those we have been called to serve. Let us never forget the lessons we have learned at the hands of hard taskmasters. Nor let us ever forget to be compassionate, caring and selfless as we fulfill our purpose.

I know the road has been rocky, and what you have had to endure beginning as a child until now, has been far too much for anyone to endure. Yet it has made you strong and it has baptized you with the political fire that is needed to make you resilient, yet unmovable. Because of what we have had to go through, it has made us longsuffering and has given us the patience that is needed to give birth to good things. It has given us compassion to serve and an understanding of the true meaning of being oppressed. It has taught us how to care for others, even if it means placing them above our own needs. It also has given us an opportunity to see how doing what is wrong can have such a devastating effect on not only those of whom it is targeted, but to the larger society as well. Because of this, let us never be partakers of doing intentional wrong. Never let us forget what we have come to know is wrong. Never be tempted to do wrong to others, even if it is done to you. Learn to forgive and go on, but understand that it is not always safe to forget. But never allow what you cannot forget to consume you or to tempt you to do a wrong to right the wrong done to you. Just know that for every seed that is sown, there is a harvest that in time those who have done wrong to you, shall reap it in multiple folds. So sow what is right, and according to that same principle of harvest, multiple goodness shall you reap.

My dearest LaShunda, you have a bright future ahead of you. I am grateful for the opportunities you also will have to effect and even witness change within your lifetime. Keep pressing towards making a positive difference, making your life count for good. This is your ancestral calling and lineage.

…And to my lineage which is yet to be born, as you read this even after I am dead and gone, may you also carry out the calling that is upon my lineage to serve others regardless of what position you may have in life, with love, humility, compassion and wisdom. This is the only way to preserve the freedoms that we have witnessed today.

Your Mom,

Jean Howard-Hill
jean.howard.hill@gmail.com

[Although the emotions of that day placed me at the crossroads debating if I should continue as a Republican and be forced to be an outsider or to wear the Independent label, I knew deep within, this was my calling. Not only this, but I believed in many of the core values of the party. So in order to remain true to my calling and to myself, despite the welcoming arms of the Democrats, especially Brenda Nunn and Sandy Smith, I had to stay and continue to fight the good fight. What bothered me even more was that the same Democratic Party Robin Smith had portrayed as ungodly, was the one with some of the nicest and godly principled people, welcoming me with open arms. ....Interesting indeed.]

Part Seven: Republican Color Failures

2009-12-01T12:32:00.000-08:00

[Exerts from my book, Black Eyes Shut - White Lips Sealed, by Jean Howard-Hill]

CHAPTER TWENTY

REPUBLICAN COLOR FAILURES

“My dearest daughter, when you fail to open your arms to embrace
others in love, you also fail to embrace God.
Because God is love!”
Golden Nuggets of Wisdom to My Daughter LaShunda__
jhh

I am not sure where to begin with my story. It is one in which I would have rather not be told. I did not seek a fight with the Republican Party, only inclusion. However, as I attempted to extend a hand to other African-Americans to come into the Party, there were some within the GOP who sounded the battle cry, and began to wage their own war against those efforts.

As I was directed by God, I waited patiently and prayerfully for the leadership of the Republican Party to come and reason with the Caucus, and me or to extend a welcome to people of color. Only a few words, and a change of heart would have prevented the open divulging of the mean spiritedness and racial sins of the Party. But it seemed the more I fasted and prayed, and the longer I waited, the harder their hearts became, and the less likely they were to repent, change and make amends. My quest for reconciliation was taken with mockery and silence, accompanied by retaliation and continuing persecution. The fleshly part of me found this hard to bear. But I had to do as God had directed, and hold my peace, and leave the battle to God to fight in his own way, and in his own time.

I saw in all of this that as always, God in his tender mercies, faithfully gives those who have wronged us, a time and a season to get it right. Then after that, He exposes those wrongs in a forced attempt to cause those who have gone astray to see the error of their deeds, and reconcile their hearts in repentance.
I held the publishing of this book from April 2002, until January 2004, hoping for a last moment attempt at reconciliation. There was none on the horizon or agenda of the Party leadership, either on a local, state or national level. With that being the case, God spoke and said:

“I AM giving ample time and space to make amends and to get this matter right before Me, you, the Caucus and before man, and you have faithfully fulfilled every requirement I have given you in honorably and righteously dealing with those who claim to be your sisters and brothers in the Lord. For those who are innocent, and have had no hand in this matter, I will protect them to prevent them from harm. Therefore they shall not be impacted, but shall be moved to align with what is right. But for those who have wronged you, and have done it with great indignation, arrogance and pride, I shall expose them and reveal their deeds, so that their deeds can be judged for what they truly are.

Also because many have turned a deaf ear to your cry, and have not dealt in good faith with you, I shall lift their own skirts high above their own heads, and shall reveal all of the vileness that has been hidden, and done behind closed doors, not only regarding you, but in other matters as well. And when they look for those to comfort them, I will cause those who would have come to their rescue and defense to become deaf to their cries, and their lips to be tightly sealed, just as they have done to you.

As you speak truth, not only shall I use you, but I shall bring out armies of others who will confirm what you have spoken, and shall add their own accusations against those who have wronged you. Therefore, you shall not stand alone, and your story shall not be the only one that is told! For I have raised up, and sworn in witnesses of my own, as I stand as Judge, Jury, and Prosecutor in this matter that I have brought against them before Myself to judge. I also call MYSELF as a witness to their deeds, for the record is in heaven, and the evidence which has been presented before Me speaks for itself. I saw it all, both what you did and what they did to you, and will rule according to the facts that I present to Myself. Therefore, divine and perfect justice shall be served.

Also take courage in knowing that you shall no longer be a target of their vengeance, nor shall you be denied entry and passage through any political gates, even those outside of the Republican Party. For I shall tear the doors of prejudice and hypocrisy off the hinges of the Republican Party, and shall cause it to return to its first love, and be reconciled with its divine purpose for which I birthed it.

I shall also open the gates to the Democratic Party and to politics to allow those to walk and sit in places of rulership and authority who will do what is just and right. Then I shall take what has been done, and will use it to bring glory to My name, and to reward you, and others for your suffering and for your faithfulness.

Now, I the Lord your God, issue the orders for you to tell your story, so that others may take courage to come forth and tell theirs, and so that full restoration can begin.”

I prayed for wisdom, knowledge and understanding, but most of all love and integrity to tell the story that led to the writing of this book. With that I begin the story of my painful journey.

Several months before the 2000 Presidential Election, God told me to actively return to politics. I wasn’t eager to do this. I had voted regularly and had continued to bring African-Americans into the Party, but I just wasn’t openly eager to get back into the mainstream GOP political inner loop. Nevertheless, I obeyed. I always had some inkling that my task was not completed, and that at some point and time, God once again would require my active involvement. But until He expressly said get into the loop again, I steered clear. However that time did come.

The morning of the election, God woke me up with these words, “I AM THE GOD OF THE ELECTIONS!”

He spoke with such authority that it awakened me. I sat up in bed shaken from the power of his words. Seldom had I heard God speak in such a sovereign and assertive voice. I wasn’t sure what to make of what He said, so I reached over for my Bible. Before I could open it, God spoke again and said, “I AM THE GOD OF THE ELECTIONS!”
This time his voice was firmer than the first time. I wondered what this could mean. The tone and force in which God spoke made me know the seriousness of what was being said.

He spoke the third time, saying again, “I AM THE GOD OF THE ELECTIONS!”
I was positive now that this election would be different from any other, and that God was about to intervene in the affairs of mankind to bring about a divine result, which had nothing to do with the will of man. Upon realizing this, God gave me specific directions for the day. He told me three things.
The first was, “Whoever wins the election, this will serve as a confirmation of the party I want you to align with”.

I thought that was strange because I was already a Republican, and wasn’t looking to become anything else.

The next instruction made me wonder if God was telling me to switch parties. His second instruction was, “You are to go to the Democratic camp tonight, to await the election results”.

I was sure now that I was changing parties!

The last instruction was, “While you are in the Democratic camp, there is something I want you to hear”.

Then He gave me the story of Gideon, in Judges 7:9-25. I did not consider the Democrats of Hamilton County my enemies, and neither did God. But just as He had instructed Gideon, there was something He needed for me to see and hear within the Democratic camp.

I obeyed, and did just as God instructed. I called Missy Crutchfield, and told her I would meet her at the Reade House where the Democrats were gathered to await the election results.

When I got there, I was amazed at how many people were sincerely happy to see me. This had been my prayer. When I left the Democratic Party, I left behind many good friends, and had prayed for the day when I could again enjoy the fellowship, and fully restore those relationships. I despised the political lines, which had separated us, and did not realize just how much those relationships meant to me, until I saw the faces of those I had known back in my early days as a Democrat. I also realized just how destructive partisan politics can be, when it impacts upon relationships that are not just political, but are built upon friendship and other kinds of relationships.

I got plenty of hugs, and warm and sincere embraces. However what I heard astounded me the most.

I sat with LaShunda at a table near the door. Subconsciously I may have done this so that, just in case I was not well received, I would have an easy escape route. After all, I was a Republican …and a well-known black one at that, which made my presence very obvious!

One by one, Democratic elected officials, party leaders (past and present), and friends came to the table to say hello, and to share what God wanted me to hear. Without knowing it, they spoke a word of encouragement and confirmation that greatly strengthened me.

One black party member said, “Years ago Jean, we didn’t understand what you were trying to do when you left the Party (Democratic Party). But most of us understand now. It was something you had to do, and you didn’t do it because you were selfish or wanted something just for yourself like most people. You did it because God had a purpose for you being there.”

The person then hugged me, and walked away.

What was said, literally blew my mind! This was the first of the ear full. Then came the second.

“Welcome back! You are coming back aren’t you?” asked one person.

I smiled, without answering, because until all of the election returns were in, I didn’t know which direction God was sending me.

More hugs and confirmations followed that.

“I hope you run again in the 29th district. This time you can win! Cause you can get the black support this time,” another precinct chair said.

My mind went back to the 1980, 29th District race in which I ran. But I had no desire to have “Sam play that tune again”.

A party leader chimed in, “We sure could use you in the Party. We have a lot that needs to be done.”

Jokingly, one person said, “You sure are one brave lady! I have always admired you for being your own person. It took a lot of guts to be a Black Republican! Especially during the time you went in.”

Then another person asked, “Jean I have always wondered, why haven’t they used you more in the local Republican Party after all the work you have done in bringing in blacks? I see Johnny Horne, and the way they push him, but you are the one they really need to put out front.”

I dared not respond to that one. To go there would have taken all night! Instead, I just smiled.

Someone else said, “You sure know how to get people to change parties. I don’t know what it is that you tell them, but black folks will jump ship in a minute, if you ask them to join the Republican Party!” Jokingly he staggered back, making a quick exit from my table and said, “Let me get away from you before you have me wanting to be a Republican!”

In response to this, I had to laugh. He got away from me in a hurry as if I had Republican leprosy, which apparently he thought he might catch!
As it appeared that Gore was lagging behind, I realized that it was time to go. Before I left, I happened to look up, and guess whose face was on the television monitor? Yes! Mine! I thought to myself, this should be interesting, the possibility of God sending me back into mainstream Republican politics, on a night when I am televised “live” at the Democratic camp, watching the presidential election returns! LaShunda and I laughed and talked about that all the way home.
What I did not realize until days later, was that night God showed me favor with those I had left in 1979 to join the GOP. After all these years of being a Republican, it was such a blessing to see there were those who did not hold a grudge against me for leaving, or thought of me as the enemy. They just welcomed me. Republican or not, I was just Jean to them.

That night I also realized that true friendships are not predicated upon party labels, but they are relational, as they should be. It was encouraging to see that I had so many friends in the Democratic Party; those I went to school with, grew up with, attended church with, preached to and pastored, socialized and worked with, counted as friends, and even shared blood ties. To see that my political affiliation meant nothing to them was the greatest gift I could have received that night.

Despite the price it would cost me, if and when I became more publicly active within the Republican Party and they found out I was there that night, I was grateful for the opportunity to be there, and count even Democrats as friends.
I remained puzzled over what God had said earlier that morning. He certainly had proven himself faithful and kind at the Democratic camp. But I still awaited the mystery to be revealed of what He meant by saying. “I AM THE GOD OF THE ELECTIONS”. It wasn’t long before the mystery was revealed.

For the next twenty-five days or more, the nation waited in limbo not knowing who won the election. Never had anything like this happened in the history of America! Yet those whom God had revealed himself to, knew it was an awesome display of God, which would prove his sovereign rule, as He intervened in the affairs of man!
Many around the country stood in awe, praying that the will of God be done, because unlike other elections, this one would prove prophetically crucial to the events of the future.

During this time, God issued to me another set of instructions. “Pray for Joe Lieberman because he is My Servant”.

I immediately got on the telephone and called to those I knew faithfully would carry out this instruction. We bombarded heaven with prayers for Lieberman.
The second instruction was, “Sit back and watch Me circumvent every ballot cast, and cause it to come up the way in which I have ordained it to be, for I AM THE GOD OF THE ELECTIONS!”

Sure enough, this is exactly what God did! The Florida election episode will be remembered in history as the Year of the Amazing Election Re-count. But it was God who caused things to be as they were. His purpose was so that President George W. Bush would recognize beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was divinely orchestrated that He was made president, over the will of man. This was important for him to know, so that he would always remember and seek the Face of the God who elected him. Should he seek God’s Face in every decision he made, he would not fail, stumble or error in fulfilling the divine purpose and call on his life. But when he failed to do this, he would. That is why the election turned out the way it did. No matter which way the count went, God circumvented the ballots and over the popular vote, ordained Bush for this Hour to lead America.

Knowing that God’s divine hand was in this, I saw President Bush in a different light. I understood that despite his human frailty, he was God’s choice for this Hour. For whatever reason, God chose him to fulfill a specific purpose. Prophetically God had said that He was called to be a Liberator and a Repair of the Breach. Because of this, I became committed to support him and follow his leadership, as God directed me. He was in my prayers on a regular basis. I understood what it meant to be God’s anointed and chosen, so I reverenced the call that was upon his life, and the mission which he had been birthed to accomplish. I did not want to see him fail, because if he failed, this meant he failed God and America. My task now was to do everything within my power to lift him up before God; give him the prophetic words, so that he would understand his call; speak good of him before men; and do my part to assist him in fulfilling his purpose. Therefore, when the president spoke of inclusion, I knew I had a major part of the key that he needed to unlock the doors to the African-American, religious community, and other minority communities. The recruitment of people for any purpose was a gift God had given me. I never quite understood it, but I always was able to gather together people by the masses for whatever purpose. Now I knew God wanted me to come forth for this hour, and use that gift to strengthen the mission of President Bush, so long as he sought God’s direction, and walked in his counsel.

It wasn’t that God directly opposed Al Gore. It just was not his season or the time of the specific calling that was upon his life. Mr. Gore’s calling was that of preserving creation and natural resources. Because of that calling, he would have channeled his attention more in this direction, than in international affairs, and matters of war and national security. But God knew the terror that would descend upon America, and the resolve that was necessary for that hour. He also knew it would be an hour where Gore’s faith would be tested beyond measure, and had to be firmly rooted in him alone. So in his infinite wisdom and knowledge, God knew which man was best suited for the immediate task of leading America through the hour of her prophetically fulfilled terror.

God also knew it was an hour where America was being weighed in the balance, and the leader had to be someone who had a heart for repentance, and the boldness to take a stand, and call America back to God. Also Gore, along with his wife Tipper had begun to render their support to matters in which God strictly opposed. The position they took in favor of gay rights would have brought America prematurely to its demise, sooner than God had ordained. This was the prime reason why God would not allow him to prevail in 2000, and even would shut the door to 2004.

Just as God had instructed, I also returned to the mainstream Hamilton County and national Republican Party inner loop, bringing with me thousands of blacks from all over the country that I had continuously recruited over the course of many years. This made it an easy task in producing the numbers.

Within Tennessee alone, in less than one year, we had managed to bring in over 5,000 blacks statewide, and a little more than 68,000 nationally. This was because I was personally committed with my time, resources and contacts to make it work. Not only this, but I was not in it for the credit or for any other reason other than I believed in what I was doing, and that this was a call that was upon my life. This is why I had up until then, recruited blacks and other minorities silently and without the political fanfare. But as those blacks who knew this, witnessed the ill treatment I was personally receiving; the failure of the Party to recognize us as a legitimate Republican organization; the back-room racist dirty politics that were being used to discredit those efforts, and personally destroy me; the failure of the Party to address these concerns; the snubbing; and the white wall of silence, many who had been recruited, became disillusioned with the embrace. After all of the hard work I had put into years of recruiting blacks, and even the opposition I had endured from my own race for doing so, I now faced the worse let down, in seeing the Party who preached “inclusion”, now once the altar call had been made, and blacks had come, refused to ingratiate those who had answered the call. Now my job was harder than ever, because I had to face those who were asking the hard question of why didn’t they want us?

As long as I silently recruited blacks outside of the mainstream Republican Party, they voted republican, and remained invisible, there were no problems. However, the moment I attempted to integrate them into full participation within the GOP mainstream, and their presence became visible, immediately I was met with opposition from the Party’s leadership. My troubles began at home, within my home county, and spilled over into the state and national.

It all began with Congressman Zach Wamp.

At first, I thought Congressman Zach Wamp’s personal vendetta against me was because of something that happened in 1992. So I went to him to again make right whatever had gone wrong between us. Despite the fact that I felt he owed me an apology for his hurtful and insensitive call he made to me shortly after my husband’s death, I felt as a Christian, I needed to make sure there was nothing on my part that would hinder our friendship and political relationship.

From 1989 through 1991, I had traveled throughout the United States recruiting
African-American women into the Republican Party. I met with Clayton Yeutter, the chairman of the RNC at that time, and thought that the Party would be pleased to see and know of those efforts. Women from every social and economic background were coming into the GOP ranks. The numbers were unprecedented. My husband was also involved in recruiting black men. While Bobby was living, he footed the bill for those efforts. However, after he passed I was not as financially prepared to do this kind of recruitment on a national level. Rather than see the efforts go down the tube, I went to RNC to see if they had any suggestions on how to keep those efforts alive. The visit with Yeutter was very cordial, but beyond that, it offered no further encouragement or assistance with the efforts to recruit minorities. In fact, RNC made no attempts beyond my visit to do anything further to encourage our recruitment efforts, which was strange if the Republican Party really wanted us.

I also met with Congressman Don Sundquist. This was before he became governor of the state of Tennessee. He was very straightforward, and appeared to have been the most interested and sincere about assisting our efforts. I had just come back from a minority event sponsored by Republican Congresswoman Nancy Johnson in Connecticut. I had financed the trip out of my own funds, which were very limited now that I was a widow. The purpose of the conference was to encourage minority recruitment in Connecticut. On the way back home, I flew into Washington and met with Congressman Sundquist. I explained to him how strapped I was financially, and that I could not continue to fund the efforts for recruiting minorities now that Bobby was gone, without the help of the Party. He gathered up a few souvenirs and gave them to my five-year old daughter who traveled with me. He also gave me a few names of people within Tennessee to contact, which later did not prove fruitful. Then he looked at me and said, “Jean, have you ever thought that maybe they don’t want as many minorities as you are recruiting into the Party?”

This stunned me, but it was something I had felt all along. He then gave me a brief heart to soul talk, and encouraged me not to continue to spend what I did not have to carry out the Party’s recruitment of minorities. I appreciated his advise, because I felt it came not just as a bit of Republican political wisdom, but it was made out of a heart felt concern for the financial and emotional welfare of my daughter and me.

I also met with a Republican female within the Bush Sr. camp, whose name I am sure she would rather I not reveal. She was just as candid in her discussion with me, and gave me the scoop as it related to not just minorities, but the dilemma facing women as well within the Party.

Returning to Chattanooga, I knew I could no longer put on the facade of recruiting black women into a party that did not want them. There also were some women in the local Republican Women’s Club that I knew were not so accepting of blacks. I struggled with what to do. With over 150 women in the Hamilton County chapter, and thousands nationwide, I knew I could not continue to bring them in knowing they might not be accepted. Neither could I continue the recruitment efforts without the Party’s help. All of these women personally had been recruited by me, so I felt a personal responsibility to make sure they were not battered and bruised by racist Republican politics.

I prayed and the answer God gave me was to turn the organization into a non-partisan one for the time being, and allow the women to gravitate to whatever side of the political pendulum they chose. Following God’s advise, the name of the organization was changed from the National Coalition of Black Republican Women to the National Impact Coalition of Black Women. Our mission was the same, to address issues related to the black family. It just would not be done under a party label.
The organization made a decision that now as a nonpartisan women’s organization, we wanted to support a female candidate–that being the incumbent Congresswoman Marilyn Lloyd.

The Congresswoman and I had a good relationship. During my democratic days, she assisted me with the Democracy In Action program, and even as a Republican, I could call her office, and there always was a positive and timely response. Most senior citizens supported her because her office was always extremely helpful to them in matters regarding social security. I admired her, and thought she was a great congresswoman, and a genuinely good person. I had always supported her in the past. However, I knew she would soon make a decision to step down from office, and decided to support Zach Wamp in his quest to replace her.

When Wamp first told me he was running for Congress, I personally introduced him to Elder Rev. C. H. Douglas, the president of the local Clergy Koinonia of which I was a member. I talked with local ministers, and others within the black community about supporting him. At that time I did not know that supposedly he had dropped out of college because of drug use, and that there were some things in his past that were questionable, along with the possibility of having sold drugs. But based upon who I thought he was, and his own words that assured me that he was a born again Christian, I was willing to give him a chance to prove himself as a viable candidate.

When he chose to run prior to Congresswoman Lloyd stepping down, because the organization decided to endorse Congresswoman Lloyd, this placed me in a difficult position. As the head of the organization, I did not feel it was my place or that it was right to sway the organization one way or the other. The women were intelligent enough to make their own decisions. So I remained neutral. However, as the head, I was the one who as a part of my leadership duties went to Congresswoman Lloyd to discuss our endorsement. She was delighted to have our support, and we were pleased to give it. I shared with her that Zach had become a personal friend, and because of that, I had committed my individual vote to him. She cautioned me that if I came out with my personal support of Zach, this might defeat the organization’s endorsement. I agreed with her that it would jeopardize the endorsement. Therefore I made the decision to still support him with my vote, but not with a personal endorsement.

Before I could reach Zach to talk with him about this, the endorsement was made public, along with the announcement of the organization becoming non-partisan. I was also in between a decision as to whether I would return to the Democratic Party, now that I was so weary of trying to get the Republican Party to completely embrace and accept blacks on a national level.

There to welcome me and any other members of the organization, who wanted to return to the Democratic Party were Hamilton County Democratic Chair, Senator Ward Crutchfield, as well as other party officials, and to receive the endorsement, Congresswoman Marylyn Lloyd. Actress Rose Weaver had flown in for this event. She was a member of our organization’s board, and a personal friend.

The event received more media coverage than I expected. The story line read, Changes Horses in Mid-Stream. Whether I had fully decided or not, they had me as a prodigal daughter of the Democratic Party, returning home. At that point, I really did not care. I was tired, broke, had endured being called a “nigger” by a Republican, and totally disappointed with the Republican Party’s lack of interest in recruiting and welcoming African-Americans into the Party. However, although Zach Wamp nor the Party were working with me or the organization to recruit minorities, and did not appear to want us, when this was done, Zach hit the ceiling. He called my house in a fit of uncontrollable rage!

“Jean, I know if Bobby was alive, he would not support your decision to endorse Marilyn Lloyd, because Bobby loved this Party and was a good Republican. I know he would turn over in his grave if he knew of your decision.”

After those words, I don’t remember too much more of what he said. I lost it! It was nearing the anniversary of Bobby’s second birthday since his death, and was one of those days when it seemed like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. His tone of voice was angry, mean, hateful, demanding, callous, and selfish. He seemed to have had no consideration for my feelings, and the emotional impact it would have on me to have him say what he said to me regarding how he thought my deceased husband would feel. I was in shock to hear him tell me that my dead husband would turn over in his grave because I was not supporting him! To even dare say something like this in such a cold and callous manner was enough to make me lose it! I do remember explaining to him that this was an organizational decision, and that I had spoken with Congresswoman Lloyd, and told her that I would cast my personal vote for him. Beyond hearing this, my anger, along with my hurt and pain blocked out everything else.

I got off the phone totally and emotionally devastated. I never shared this with the organization. Only two or three people knew about it. Years after Zach won, I never spoke of this again, even when those who supported him because of me, spoke of him in my presence. It was a wound that had been inflicted, that I covered in grace. It was not easy to do, but if I preached forgiveness, I also had to practice it, even if he never apologized for his rude, insensitive, selfish, self-serving and coldhearted behavior.

The organization gave its endorsement to President Clinton for the presidential election. I was invited to greet Vice President Al Gore, at the airport, and personally deliver that endorsement. However beyond this, I never got involved in Democratic politics, and it was not long after this that the load of Bobby’s death got so heavy that I left Chattanooga. Being away, and less involved in Republican politics on a local level, it was much easier to retain my Republican identity. So I remained a Republican. I continued to recruit minorities nationally, but decided to do it outside of the mainstream Republican Party. I was more interested in getting blacks to embrace the Republican philosophy, than to become visible participants. Either way, my efforts remained highly successful, even if those blacks who were now voting and thinking “Republican” were not visible at the table.

When I returned to Chattanooga, and was considering to again get involve in the local Republican Party in 1999, I called Zach first to talk to him about what had happened years ago. I wanted to make sure there were no lingering hard feelings. He never once apologized for what he had said. I guess he did not feel that tearing the heart out of a widow was an offense worth atoning for. But that was okay. I had done my part. I had forgiven him, and graced his offense.

After my telephone call to reconcile with Zach, I thought everything was fine between the two of us. I kept in contact with his office, and did everything I could to support him, and to keep his name before the black community, as he had asked me to do. I even vouched for his concern for projects within the African-American community, and tried to get him to assist, even when he showed no concern or desire to be involved.

........ (Continued Excerpt)

I was happy to see that seemingly, Congressman Wamp had overcome his past, and was on the right road. As a minister, redemption is the main goal of ministry. Thinking this was what had taken place with him, I did not hesitate to applaud him for his growth, encourage him, and vow my support to work with him as long as he was striving to do the right thing and living the profession of faith he made.

As I anticipated my return to the local Republican Party, I met with an old friend and campaign stumper, Gene Hunt. We had developed a close friendship during our 1980 campaigns. He ran for state senator, and I had run for state representative. He was very happy to hear from me, and to welcome my involvement again in the Party. He overly flattered me in telling me how much my involvement in the local Republican Party had meant. He introduced me to the local party chair, Robin Smith. In first meeting her, she appeared to be very happy to have minorities. She told me that I was a sign to her that God wanted her to serve a second term, in order to bring minorities into the local Party. I vowed to vigorously work with her in those efforts. It seemed that we would have a very good working relationship. Then something happened, and very abruptly things changed!

I heard from white Republican friends that someone in the local party had spoken with Robin Smith, and now there were negative rumors being spread about me. I could not figure out who it could be, or what could have been said. Then I got a sniff of what it may have been. Supposedly Congressman Zach Wamp, despite me having talked to him again to make sure we had ironed out our past differences, and were okay with each other, still had some lingering animosity towards me. This animosity had been shared in a negative manner, which caused some individuals within the Party to resent me. Immediately, as a Christian, I sat down and sent him a personal letter, addressed to his home to make sure he got it. I also had planned to share with him some things that were on my mind. This was a good opportunity to do both. So I wrote:

Sunday, February 26, 2001

Dear Zack:

I want to share some things with you. Usually when we speak, there isn’t the time or opportunity to share anything of a personal nature. So I decided to do it by way of a note to you.

God keeps bringing you to mind. In fact, over the past nine years, since Bobby’s death, every so often you come to mind. I began to ask God why. What he shared with me was that the two of us are tied together. Regardless of what may have happened to make it appear we were at odds with each other, God had placed divine assignments in our hands that connect us together. I believe this and want to make sure there is nothing I have done or are doing that will hinder that call or friendship.

First, I want to bring closure to a telephone call we had back in 1992. You called very disturbed because you saw an article in the newspaper, which showed my organization changing to become non-partisan, and me in a picture with Marilyn Lloyd and others from the Democratic Party. Unfortunately, the whole story has never been told. As a result of that, this has placed a wedge between the two of us of mistrust. So, let me try to tell the story.

Before Bobby’s death, I recruited him into the Republican ranks. He and his family are strong elected and party supporting Democrats. He became a Republican because he supported my efforts and me. Therefore, he allowed me to use our resources and money to fund the National Black Republican Women. I was able to travel across the country, networking and building an organization of over 15,000 women. After Bobby’s death, I remained committed, although my heart was broken into a million pieces. I continued networking. I worked hard, not because I was being paid, getting or expecting some benefit from the party. I did television and radio shows across the country. There was so much excitement among Blacks who felt they could embrace the Party, simply because they believe in what I was doing and me. I met with Clayton Yeutter, the RNC Chair. I attended the National Federation’s conferences. I accompanied Arthur Fletcher, when he visited and spoke here in Chattanooga, and did a press conference with him. I was a faithful member of the Hamilton County Women’s Club and Pachyderms. I brought the largest number of blacks ever to attend the Lincoln dinner, when Sundquist spoke. I went to Nashville and spoke to the Republican Legislative body. There were more blacks involved in the Party then, than ever. I did everything I knew to do to be a part of the Party on a local, as well as national level. But very few thought the efforts were all that important, it seemed. It was not that I was opposed; it was more like being ignored. This grieved me greatly. Nevertheless, I had to keep up a front to keep the rest of the women from knowing what was going on. Most of the Hamilton County women supported me when I ran for State Representative in 1980, and had witnessed the racism of me being called a nigger. So I knew I could not tell them too much, otherwise they would retreat and never want to be Republicans.

The week leading up to the Marilyn Lloyd incident, I had been in Connecticut with Congresswomen Nancy Johnson, of which I paid my own expenses to accept her invitation to come. I also had been in Washington at the RNC. No one there thought the black vote was significant to the Party. Despite all of the numbers and work, it was just not important. When I returned home, I had a choice to make. I could no longer lead women across the nation on a path, which I knew they were not welcomed. Many of the Hamilton County women were growing weary. So to save face, and to keep from fully revealing the problems with acceptance we were facing, I changed the organization into a non-partisan coalition, and decided to leave the Party. Although I wanted to stay, I felt a need to leave, so that I could make a difference. I was welcomed back to the Democratic Party with opened arms, although I never really became a Democrat. I also did not see any need to stay, because the price was too high to ask me to pay at a time when I was so deeply grieved and broken. However, I had made some friends within the Party and did not want to lose those friendships. You were one of them.

The only reason why I took you to meet Rev. Douglas, president of the Clergy Koinonia, that day at Hunter’s Restaurant, was because you were my friend and I had confidence that you would do the right thing if elected. I took a chance in doing that because the Clergy Koinonia is basically made up of pastors who are Democrats. Yet because I was willing to openly support and defend you, they became open to you as well, and many supported you, and still do. I confess, I should have persevered, and come to you before the article ran or before I made my decision. However, there was so much going on at that time. I got back to Chattanooga to hear the final decision that the insurance company had refused to pay Bobby’s death benefits, the bank repossessed my car, and the house slowly was going into foreclosure. All of the financial pressures were crashing down on my head at one time. I thought about all of the money I had spent pursuing a cause for the Republican Party of which, they could have cared less. On top of all of that, there was this rumor that I had been given some money from the Party, and had taken it for my personal use. This hurt me very deeply, especially knowing this was not true and being in the financial dilemma I was in, after having spent so much of my money for the Party. I could not understand how anyone could be so cruel. I was not angry with you, nor had I abandoned you. But before I could get to you the article ran. However, you can confirm what I am telling you with Marilyn Lloyd. I met with her and told her that although the organization wanted to support her, I could not endorse her because of my personal friendship with you. This was not something she wanted to hear. I also told the organization the same. With the exception of only a few, all of the Hamilton County Black Republican women decided to do the same. They remembered you speaking at Bobby’s homegoing services, and knew you were our friend. Therefore they also choose to support you. So, when you called that day, it hurt so much to have you accuse me of doing something in which Bobby would not approve of if he was alive. Those words broke my heart even more, and came at the worse of times. I remember dropping the telephone after we ended the call, and me screaming out in pain. It was too much to bear. I know that none of that makes any difference now. It is a new day.

My daughter and I have gone through some of the hardest times of my life these past nine years since Bobby’s death. But, none of it has been in vain. With every step of the way, God has deposited within us the good that comes from being tried in the furnace. So during this time, with God keeping you on my mind, I knew that whatever happened between us, was Satan’s way of separating us. You were my friend then, you are my friend now, and unless you tell me otherwise, you will remain my friend. I am not like most people. I truly treasure and honor friendship as a gift from God. But, it is more than friendship. It is a call that God has on both of our lives.

I don’t fully have all of the pieces, but I do know that there can be nothing between us, and that we must renew our friendship and trust, in order for God to do in both of us what He wants to do. So, I humbly come to you to ask your forgiveness for any pain or disappointment I may have caused you, and to let you know that the pain I felt that day years ago, I don’t feel it any more. All that I feel is the love of God for you as my brother in Christ, and as my friend.

Jean
* * * * * * * * * * * *

After pouring out my heart to him, taking the time to explain in detail what had happened, and humbling myself to ask forgiveness for wrong I had not done, he never once responded to my letter! I still could not figure out what had caused this abrupt shift or why a man who claimed he had changed his life, and given his heart to God, could still be just as callous as he was in 1992. He just ignored me and continued to do every mean spirited thing he could to block me, and keep me out of Republican politics, using Robin Smith, Marty Fairbanks, and others as his instruments.

I still could not understand why, until God spoke and said, “Remember the meetings. The answer you seek is in the meetings”. I pondered this and then it became apparent. I remembered that I had a meeting with Zach twice. In one of those meeting, he urged the organization that I founded and chaired, to not render their support to one of the gubernatorial candidates. When I did not acquiesce to his wishes, he wasn’t very happy about that. It seemed he had hoped to use the organization for his own political use. But that just was not the purpose of the local, state or national Caucus. He also kept dropping hints that he would be running for the Senate in 2006, and that his office would be up for grabs. He talked about Congressman J.C. Watts and me getting together, as a team in Congress.

I was not lead to respond to this because my role as head of the organization was not to further my own political career by cutting deals with anyone who wanted to use the organization, through me. If I was truly ordained by God to one day serve in Congress, it would happen. But it was not my place to set that in motion by my own doings. Nor was I going to prostitute the Caucus in exchange for personal favors or personal political opportunities.

As further political bait, Wamp also offered me the opportunity to sit on his third district advisory board. I am not sure if that is the correct title, but it was a group of some sort he had created that consisted of community leaders. After I was not willing to play ball in his court, he never mentioned it to me again, and did not follow through in appointing me to serve.

He also attempted to give a job to our vice chairman of the Hamilton County African-American Republican Caucus, who also was my nephew. But when I refused to allow him to use the organization, or Patrick for his personal use, he withheld the job offer from him. This was the beginning of me seeing that this was Congressman Wamp’s usual way of webbing his support by giving a position on his staff to a relative of someone who had influence, so that in return he could later use that to guarantee himself support. Because of me, Patrick was a valuable tool to him. So once he was convinced that I would not be a pawn that he could use, and would not allow the organization to fall into the hands of any politicians to control and change its vision and mandates, he no longer had any use for me. Therefore, he no longer had any use for him. In fact, he began one of the most fierce and deadliest campaigns against me to destroy my credibility within the Republican Party at every level, and to block and close every door and contact I had worked so hard to build.

He began by placing the local party chair as a Gestapo force against me. At first, it was very difficult to believe that Chairwoman Robin Smith could be anything less than a model Christian. She was the one “toting” the biggest bible, praying the loudest prayers, and waving the biggest flag. Believing she was sincere, I pledged my full support to assist her in recruiting minorities into the Party. But I soon learned, she was like a book that could not be judged by its cover. Once the book was opened, I was shocked to see that the inside was not as I had thought and had hoped it would be.

In response to our telephone conversation facilitated by my Republican friend Gene Hunt, I sent Robin Smith a letter, enclosing all of the information on the Caucus. Since she had only been in the Republican Party for five years, and had not known me when I was active in the party, I also sent her information on me, so that we could get better acquainted. Additionally, I sent to her materials and newspaper articles, which showed some of my past efforts to recruit, and past involvement in the party on a local, state and national level. In a letter inviting her to our first organization meeting, and providing her with the progress of the Caucus I wrote:

THE NATIONAL REPUBLICAN AFRICAN-AMERICAN CAUCUS

Embrace

Dr. Jean Howard-Hill, Nat’l Chair
Chattanooga, TN

February 26, 2001

Dear Robin Smith:

We are very excited about the formation of the National Republican African-American Caucus. All over the United States, from California, to North Carolina, to Oklahoma, to Tennessee, County Caucuses are forming!

The Hamilton County Republican African-American Caucus is having its first organizational meeting the second, Monday night in March to elect officers, and to plan our Caucus activities. As elected officials and Party officers, we want to work very closely with you to keep you abreast of our activities and county strategy to increase African-American participation in the Party, as well as welcome the opportunity to work together with us.

Pursuant to the National By-laws, County Republican elected officials and heads of local Republican organizations are asked to sit on the County Republican African-American Caucus Advisory Boards. I have enclosed a copy of the by-laws, so that you can see the function of the Board. We invite you to sit on the Hamilton County Caucus Advisory Board, and know your input will be of great value to us.

Because the organization is so new, I will be serving as County Chair, for the first year, to ensure the Hamilton County Caucus gets off to a good start.

The National web site should be up in a few weeks. It will have links to the County Caucuses, including Hamilton County. Please feel free to visit our web site. The County link also will have a link where you may post information to our County membership. Patrick Favors is the web master for the County site. He will be in touch with you, should you wish to take advantage of this opportunity for Hamilton County African-American to get to know you.

Please let us know if you have other suggestions on how we can work together as one to build the Party, increase the GOP’s presence within the African-American community, and improve our communities as a whole.

We look forward to working with you.

Sincerely,

Dr. Jean Howard-Hill

JHH/mh

* * * * * * * * * * * *
I also attached information on the Caucus, which included our mission, and recruitment projects. I continued to follow up with letters and e-mails to keep the chairman Robin Smith and Congressman Wamp appraised of our progress, despite evidence that the mean spiritedness and racism had begun already to rear its ugly head.

Then there was a second meeting with Wamp. During that Washington meeting, Congressman Wamp shared with a staff member how much he had enjoyed me singing, and how years back, I had sung at a Republican Lincoln Day Dinner and also had sung and eulogized my husband. Therefore, I volunteered to sing at the up-coming Lincoln Day Dinner. I spoke with Robin Smith about this, and she seemed delighted. I got with some of the Caucus members to form a group called Embrace to sing a melody of patriotic songs for the event, and our organization’s theme song, which also was called Embrace. But three weeks before the Lincoln Day Dinner, when I called Smith, she told me that Congressman Wamp had decided that he wanted instead of us sing, to have a group outside of the county to perform for the dinner, therefore we could not sing.

I had sung before at the last Lincoln Day Dinner before my husband died, and at other political functions, so I wasn’t disappointed. But it was disappointing to the Caucus.

I then asked if she would allow the Caucus to be introduced to the local party, along with the exciting news that Hamilton County was the first county to have the first Caucus organized. We were so elated with our efforts. By then, we had over 260 members, which was 258 more than they had, and more members were joining weekly. Since Tennessee had played such a crucial role in the election of President Bush, I thought this would be something about which she, the local party and Congressman Wamp would be equally as excited. After all, our efforts made them look good. It also would have made good political sense for Wamp to have embraced the Caucus, especially in light of his anticipated 2006 Senate race. But instead of welcoming us into the Party, he was too blinded by racial hatred and his desire to destroy me personally to understand how all of this translated into possible votes and support for him. With whatever attempts they had made to bring in minorities, at best they netted one or two token members. Now we had become successful in our recruitment, almost over night. Without any efforts on their part, except to open their arms and just welcome us in, this would make Hamilton County the first to step to the plate and carry out the mandate of the President for the inclusion of minorities on a noticeable scale.

The Hamilton County Republican African-American Caucus also had Hispanics, and we were introducing the Caucus to East Indians, Asians, as well as Blacks. This truly was an exceptionally inclusive effort.

What happened after this stunned me. It caught me totally off guard. Instead of an embrace, Robin Smith tore into me with the vengeance of an alley cat. This woman who was so God-fearing, nice, and willing to work to recruit minorities, all of a sudden took on a quality that was liken unto someone possessed. She accused me of building a power base for my personal use. She told me that absolutely no! Under no circumstance could we be introduced, and that she was not allowing anyone black on the platform that night, except for two black pastors who were not members of the Caucus or Republicans, but were selected by Congressman Wamp. She inferred that I was wanting personal recognition, and she was not about to give it to me. I was in shock! I asked her what was wrong with introducing the Caucus to the local Party? How else would local Republican know we existed? It did not have to be me who made the introduction, it could be someone else, if that was the problem.

Also since Congressman J.C. Watts, the only black Republican congressman in the House was going to be the speaker, this would be an even better opportunity to make a show of embrace to blacks and other minorities. Despite all of this, the answer was a cold, rude and emphatic no!

Later, Angela Sailor at the White House spoke with Congressman Watts, and he was prepared to make the introduction on our behalf. But nothing changed Robin Smith or Zach Wamp’s mind. From that day forth, she continued to pounce on me with accusations that I was up to something. I did not know where she was coming from, or what caused the abrupt, sudden, and ruthless change. However, prior to this I had noticed a visible change in her attitude towards me, but I had chosen to over look it, giving her the benefit of being the Christian she claimed to be.

In an effort to get her to further work with the Caucus, and to address the issue of being introduced at the Lincoln Day Dinner, the Caucus responded with a letter to Ms. Smith.

.......(Continued Excerpts)

We also issued a statement addressing the hostile way in which she had reacted to the Caucus’s request to be introduced to the local party at the Lincoln Day Dinner. Members of the Caucus knew of the efforts I had made to recruit them. As their leader, they felt very strongly that if the Republican Party could bring in blacks who were not identifying themselves as Republicans and place them at the head table, and giving them a place on the program, then I also should be recognized as the head of the Caucus. They also felt that if they were taking the risk to become Republicans, and had become a part of an organized group, then that group should be introduced and welcomed by the local party. It was hard for any of us to understand why this was something which Ms. Smith and Congressman Wamp so adamantly opposed to.

Unitedly, the Caucus issued this statement to Ms. Smith and Congressman Wamp:

STATEMENT FROM
THE HAMILTON COUNTY REPUBLICAN AFRICAN-AMERICAN CAUCUS & HAMILTON COUNTY HISPANIC COMMITTEE

The membership of the Hamilton County Republican African-American Caucus, do hereby make the following statement regarding the African-American participation at the Lincoln Dinner:

In as much as we are fortunate to have residing within our county and state, the national chair and founder of PROJECT EMBRACE and THE NATIONAL REPUBLICAN AFRICAN-AMERICAN CAUCUS, we think it is proper protocol to recognize her at the Lincoln Day Dinner, and that she be seated at the head table. Dr. Hill has given of her resources and time unselfishly, and at an enormous sacrifice to spearhead the recruitment of African-Americans in the Party on a local and national level, going back as far as 1979. She is well respected and well known not just within the local community, but within the national community as well, and within many grass roots communities all over the United States. We fully and unanimously support and applaud her efforts and find it unacceptable to have her not play some part in the Lincoln Day Dinner. In the spirit of “inclusion” and in support of the President’s efforts to include minorities, to not offer an invitation to her to sit at the head table, and acknowledge her as our national leader, is a slap in the face to all of us on a local, state, as well as national level.

We have eight tables at the Lincoln Day Dinner, with others still to be counted. Except for the Lincoln Day Dinner in 1991, in which Dr. Hill was responsible for a showing of 18 African-Americans, this is the largest showing of African-American participation in the Hamilton County Republican Party’s history. Also, we have coming in for the event, three of our National Officers who include our National Vice Chair, Bishop “Earthquake” Kelley from Los Angeles, California and National Treasurer, Rev. Glenda McNeal from Salem, Ohio. Being that Congressman J. C. Watts is the speaker, and that President Bush’s major theme has been inclusion, we would think this would be a great opportunity for the Hamilton County Party to show its support in taking the lead to embrace the African-American efforts to embrace President Bush and the Republican Party, by supporting and “show casing” our local efforts, in that it is one of the first 100 caucuses to be formed, under the NRAAC. It is most embarrassing to the Chair and to our local caucus to have these individuals come, and there be no recognition or attention drawn to those efforts.

We also express our concern that no member of our Hamilton County Caucus was included on the program, while non-members of the caucus and non-acknowledged Republican African-Americans have been placed out front to play a role in the program. The Caucus has over ten ordained ministers and five African-American/Hispanic pastors who could have and should have been called upon to perform clergy duties. It also has many individual singers and groups, who could have been called upon as well.

As members of the Hamilton County Caucus our coming out and standing as openly acknowledged Republicans, is not being done without paying a major price. Many of us will suffer exclusion and reprisals for doing so. Nevertheless, we have made a commitment to pledge our open support of the President and the Republican Party. However, we can not make such a commitment and open showing of our party affiliation, if the party is not going to be sensitive to our involvement as acknowledged members of the party. While we still wish to believe that the Hamilton County Republican Party is sincere, these actions have caused us to place in question the local party leadership’s sincerity in including minorities that are willing to openly embrace the party, and pay the price for doing so.

In light of this, we strongly urge the Lincoln Day Dinner Committee to reconsider their actions and take some positive steps to reconcile this error in judgment, so that we can truly feel the welcome mat beneath our feet, as we commit ourselves to standing proudly as African-American and Hispanic Republicans.

This statement is supported by the full membership of the Hamilton County African-American Caucus and Hispanic Committee, on this 26th day of March 2001, and is made a part of the organization’s official records.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Instead of sitting down with us, and working out this matter, their response became even more vicious. Apparently they resented this fresh new breed of African-American Republicans who were both vocal and responsive in dealing head on with issues affecting us.

Weeks later, after the 2001 Lincoln Day Dinner, not only did they attack me, but they viciously attacked a well respected, elderly white party loyalist, Mary Louise Collins, who had heard about what had happened from someone else, and inquired about the matter. When she did this, Robin Smith, along with Marty Fairbanks, the local party’s executive director verbally and abusively attacked Mary Louise Collins, while Congressman Wamp stood there looking on and saying nothing to stop the verbal assault. It was apparent, that their actions were sanctioned by him.
The way in which they treated Mrs. Collins, with Congressman Wamp’s approval was nothing short of being disgraceful and disrespectful. Not only this, but the mean and hateful things that the two said about me were beyond belief. They really didn’t know me, yet they proceeded to defame me in the things they said about me.

Now I understood what God was saying to me.

Finally it all surfaced, and was clear. Apparently, Congressman Wamp had issued orders to block me, and Robin Smith, Marty Fairbanks, and others were carrying out his wishes.

As time went on, I realized that the way in which Congressman Wamp was responding to me, had everything to do with what had happened back in 1992, when he first ran for Congress. Even if he should claim he did not understand, the Congressman by now knew and understood fully well why I had become politically neutral, and the once Republican women’s organization had been turned into a nonpartisan group. The facts were clear. It was because the Republican Party back then, just was not accepting of blacks in large numbers. Therefore, after my husband’s death, I had no other choice than to abandon my massive recruitment of African-American women because of personal and financial considerations. I also needed the time and space to mourn, and to focus on my future as a widow with a small child to care for alone. I also had to do something with the women I had recruited. He understood perfectly clear why I changed the organization into a non-partisan one, and allowed the women to determine who they wanted to support for Congress. He also knew how I had gone to him when I returned and personally talked with him. He also knew, even much later, after I saw he had begun to play these little nasty and vindictive political games with me, that I again had tried to sit down with him and reason things out. I gave him every opportunity to be the Christian brother he claimed to have been. None of my efforts were met with a mutual desire for him to act as a Christian brother to prayerfully and in a godly manner resolve any differences we might have had. It was clear that he was intent upon being at war with me, instead of pursuing peace, even if it was to the detriment of the Republican Party locally, or at the state and national levels or to the President and other Republican elected officials.

After my efforts to reason with him were rejected, I knew then that he had begun his campaign to destroy me. It was when he learned that he could not control me, and use the Caucus like his own political puppet on a string that he really went after me with full force! Unlike those who conspired with him, I was not about to compromise my integrity or the integrity of the Caucus to carry out Congressman Wamp’s dirty work, just to be a part of the local Republican inner loop.

Now that I knew I would not receive any cooperation from my own congressman, I introduced the Caucus to Congressman Van Hilleary. He was delighted and excited to hear about our efforts. He did everything he could to get us the legal clearance Robin Smith had demanded we obtain. I was totally, and pleasantly surprised to know that the congressman took a personal walk down to the RNC to get them to respond to me, after I had spent weeks trying to talk to someone about this ridiculous requirement that Robin Smith had made on our organization to get legal approval from RNC before she or the state would recognize us as a legitimate Republican group, or grant us the right to have information in the local county Newsletter, which was important so that the local party would know of our existence, our recruitment efforts and our projects.

Congressman Hilleary was the only Republican member of Congress who I contacted that would personally meet with me, from the state of Tennessee. He also was the only one who offered any assistance to the Caucus. Although I had sent information on the Caucus and letters to Senator Frist and Senator Thompson’s office, as far as I got with them was a meeting with a member of their staff. Kelvin Moxley, a black staffer, and Tyler Owens in Senator Thompson’s Chattanooga office. Both Moxley and Owens did send me the name of someone to get involved in the Caucus, and appeared to be happy that we were recruiting minorities.

I also met with Bob Davis and Sarah Bryant of Senator Thompson’s office. I provided them with the information on the Caucus, and asked for the Senator’s help. Senator Thompson had a good rapport and relationship with blacks in Hamilton County because of his strong support of the Bethlehem Center, which did excellent work in steering young black boys towards achieving and having self worth. When I met with Mr. Davis, he assured me that he would look over the Caucus materials, and if he liked what he saw, he would help, but if he didn’t, he wouldn’t. I guess he didn’t, because I never heard back from him. After Senator Thompson decided not to run again for the Senate, Sarah went on to work in Congressman Wamp’s office, which I assumed explained the shut-out in Senator Thompson’s office.

Emily Reynolds met with me in Washington, from Senator Frist’s office. She was very cordial, but just as was the case with Senator Thompson’s office, they did not appear to be excited about our efforts, and offered no further support or had any further contact with us. I did share with her surfacely some of the issues we faced in Hamilton County. But I am sure as was the case with everyone, Congressman Wamp and Robin Smith had managed to shut us out there as well. Just as the case with Senator Thompson, this was hard to believe since Senator Frist had a reputation for being a man of integrity and fairness. But I guess when faced with the issue of race, and the word of a fellow congressman, Wamp’s word would be taken over mine, even to the detriment and tarnishing of Frist’s own reputation in the eyes of African-American Republicans.

I was so accustomed to meeting with members of Congress personally from other states, but my own congressional delegation remained gated. Other than meeting with staffers, that was the last I heard of any congressional commitment or interest in our efforts to recruit blacks and other minorities into the Party. I started to give Senator Arlen Spector a call. I had met with him in 1992 during the Anita Hill-Clarence Thomas ordeal. But I felt those within my own state should be the first to welcome and support our efforts. It was something how easy it was for me to meet face-to-face with members of Congress from other states, while in Tennessee as far as I could get was a chief of staff or just someone in the local office. I even could get to democratic members of Congress easier than those in my own party!

Only Congressman Hilleary took the time to personally met with me, talk to me personally on the telephone, return my calls, and saw the value of the organization. Perhaps this also was because he saw the value of having the black vote for his governor’s race, which was something Wamp failed to see or understand. He also was responsible for a $1000 check, which was given to offset some of the expenses for the reception we hosted in Memphis, during the faith based initiative meeting.

At one point, I feared even Congressman Hilleary may had become slightly affected, as neither the Caucus or I were asked to play a part in his gubernatorial election efforts, while those who were opposed to us, and even working against him behind the scenes were included. Wamp made sure he had his people infiltrate the Hilleary camp to keep him informed and to sabotage his campaign efforts. At least we would have rendered genuine support and would have been friend, instead of foe.

It appeared no matter which way I turned, everyone was being a little or extremely guarded because of Congressman Wamp’s and Robin Smith’s campaign against us. All of this made the Caucus and me feel very uncomfortable, unwanted, and unwelcomed as we watched Republican leaders in Washington give lip service to inclusion, while at home in their own state, they ignored us, and treated the local and state Caucuses as if we had committed the unpardonable sin, by just wanting to become Republicans. Perhaps they all had failed to see that charity starts at home, and then spreads abroad. I wondered. If you could not embrace blacks within your own local backyard and home state, welcome them, and treat them like human beings, then how could you truly advocate for inclusion some place else? But in all of this, I discerned something more was working behind the scenes to cause this kind of reaction. It was like an army of locusts following me, and devouring any in routes I attempted to make into the Republican Party. I had experienced some degree of prejudice and some opposition in the past, but this was nothing in comparison. Back then, we could at least become a Republican. But now, I wasn’t even getting through the door! It was almost a complete shutout, even by many of the local elected officials, who could have used the support of the black vote.

Congressman Wamp also met with me, but each time I met with him, it was more for the purposes of helping him get a foothold in the race for the 2006 U.S. Senate seat, or using the Caucus to carry out his personal vendettas. Each time he made it clear that he did not want the Caucus to support Congressman Hilleary for governor, because he didn’t believe Hilleary had the charisma, was qualified, or had what it took to be governor, and asked me to get the Caucus to work against him to support another person, Bill Baxter who had not yet decided to enter the race.

I knew Baxter because we were in law school together. He was two classes ahead of me, and from all that I knew about him, he was good people. There also is no evidence that he knew how Congressman Wamp felt about Hilleary, or what he had tried to get us to do. Not willing to go along with Congressman Wamp, I made it clear that as a Caucus, we would not endorse any Republican candidate in the Primary Election, unless it was a minority member of the Caucus. However, we would meet with both potential candidates to present them to the Caucus, so that each member could make their own decision who to support in the Primary. Then in the General Election, we would gladly get behind that winning candidate. This was the only fair way to do it. I did meet with the potential candidates, Bill Baxter, Congressman Hilleary, and later Jim Henry.

I became a little leery when Congressman Wamp gave me names of people to steer clear of. High on that list was the Tennessee State Party Chair, Chip Saltsman. Because of the Congressman’s confessed personal dislike for him, I was told he would not be someone who would work with me and the Caucus on the state level. I did not quite understand all of his reasons for disliking him. But I was told that he did not support women and gave them a hard time, and would not be open to blacks. I knew nothing about Saltsman, and wanted to form my own opinion of him, as I interacted with him and got to know him. Also, I had heard just the opposite from a black Republican in West Tennessee. Regardless, I did not intend to get involved in the Congressman’s personal grudges and political cat and dog fights. I only wanted to recruit minorities, and steer clear of dirty and petty party politics.

Besides this, I was a minister and was obligated to seek peace, and not to be a part of any form of confusion. If I could not accommodate a reconciliation between him, Saltsman and Hilleary, I certainly wasn’t going to be involved in their conflicts.

Despite the warnings from Congressman Wamp, I contacted Mr. Saltsman and sent him information on the Caucus:

January 8, 2001

Mr. John “Chip” Saltsman Jr.,
Republican Party State Chairman
1922 West End Avenue
Nashville, Tennessee 37203

Dear Mr. Saltsman:

Please find enclosed a copy of the letter I sent to President Bush and RNC Chairman Jim Gilmore regarding Project Embrace, which is an effort to recruit minorities into the Republican Party.

I look forward to working with you to fulfill the vision within the State of Tennessee.

Sincerely,

Dr. Jean Howard-Hill

JHH/pf

Enc(s):

* * * * * * * * * * * *

I did share what Congressman Wamp had said and attempted to get the Caucus to do with Congressman Hilleary in a conversation with him in Washington. I did it because he was positive Congressman Wamp was one hundred percent behind him, and I thought he should know that behind his back Wamp secretly opposed him, so that if there was a problem, he could clear it up with him.

When it was apparent that I was not going to use the Caucus to carry out Congressman Wamp’s personal agendas, this is when the tide completely turned, and fierce battle lines were drawn. For the next two years, I lived a nightmare of some of the most vicious and mean attacks, and disparate treatment based upon race, which included dirty, mean spirited, and vicious politics that were used to defame me and those who dared to stand with me, and support the inclusions of blacks within the Republican Party.

With Congressman Wamp’s help and sanctioning, his supporters successfully did everything under the sun to kill off any influence or power I may have had on a local, state, and national level. I saw this from the White House, to RNC to the State Party to the local. It is amazing the power that a congressman or a person with political power can have when he sets out to destroy you! This was a Political Science lesson I quickly learned. After this, I could never again get Wamp or Smith to meet with me to try to get things right, so that we could work together. He ignored my telephone calls and letters requesting an opportunity to sit down with him to talk.

Nevertheless, as a last attempt, I even approached him face-to-face while we were at WGOW radio to do the Jeff Styles Talk Show, and personally handed his Chief of Staff, Doug Fisher a copy of the letters I had sent to his office requesting to meet with him, along with copies of the other letters I had sent him in the past, just in case they may have claimed to have not gotten them. But even that fell on deaf ears. The last letter I wrote trying to reconcile with him was in September 2001.

NRAAC
The National Republican African-American Caucus

EMBRACE

CONFIDENTIAL

September 26, 2001

TO: The Honorable Congressman Zach Wamp
Attention: Paulina Meaderis, Scheduler

FROM: Dr. Jean Howard-Hill

Congressman Wamp, I kindly request an opportunity to meet with you at your earliest convenience to put to rest some divisive rumors that have been floating around, that could affect the Party’s ability to maintain African-Americans within the local party.

For months I have been told rumors of things that have been said, that have been disturbing. But I have chosen to ignore them, simply because as I told you in a note to you earlier this year, I am your friend, and until I come to you and say differently, that does not change. Although you never responded to my note, I assumed you felt the same way. However, there are so many rumors that are surfacing and won’t go away, which suggest that we are at war with each other. This is causing some concern among members of the caucus and other fellow Republicans. The only way I know to dispel those rumors or to work out any problems that may be between us, is for the two of us to sit down and talk. As Christians, we have an obligation to come together in a humble and loving way, to reason.

I prayerfully look forward to the opportunity to work this out as Christians, as friends, and as two individuals who love the Party, and want to see it grow inclusively.

Thanks.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Meantime, the Hamilton County Party chair, Robin Smith continued to block me and the local Hamilton County Republican African-American Caucus from taking its roots politically within the Party. After successfully using her power to prevent us from being introduced at the 2001 Hamilton County Lincoln Day Dinner, she was persistent with requiring us to get legal clearance from the RNC and Tennessee State Party before she would recognize us as a Republican group. It was like she was standing at the birth canal to prevent the Caucus from coming forth, and when it did, she pursued its life to destroy it in any way she could. She reminded me of a modern day King Herod who was intent upon killing any efforts we made to organize at the Caucus’ inception. I was told without that legal clearance, we could not make announcements of our meetings or activities; we could not have any announcements or activities printed in the monthly Hamilton County Republican Newsletter; and we could not be legitimately considered as Republicans. This sent me on trips at my own expense, to Washington, D.C. to the RNC, and to Nashville to the State Party in pursuit of this legal clearance. First, I contacted the Tennessee State Party. Then following their recommendations, I sent a letter to the RNC.

January 10, 2001

Chairman James Gilmore
Republican National Committee
310 First Street, S.E.
Washington, D.C. 20003

Dear Chairman Gilmore:

Congratulation on your new appointment as chairman of the Republican National Committee. We have a lot to look forward to, and accomplish over the next few years.

Please find enclosed a copy of the letter I sent to President Bush regarding Project Embrace, which is an effort to recruit minorities into the Republican Party.

I will be in Washington, the week of January 17th – 20th, and then again the following week. I look forward to meeting you and discussing how we can work together to increase minority involvement in the GOP.

Sincerely,

Dr. Jean Howard-Hill

JHH/pf

Enc(s):

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Later I called the RNC to inquire about the legal requirements of becoming a Republican group. They seemed shocked to learn that they had such a requirement.
Every step of the way, I advised Robin Smith, and sent her copies of my correspondence. Later I realized that she used this as a means of tracking what I was doing, and the opportunity to circumvent every effort I made.
I also made direct contact with the White House in an effort to work with the President in his minority inclusion efforts.

January 8, 2001

The Honorable George Walker Bush
President of the United States
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D.C. 20016

Dear President Bush:

As a Republican and an African-American, I congratulate you on becoming the nation’s 43rd President. It is with great excitement and anticipation that I embrace you as my president.

In your post-election speech, you asked for our prayers and vowed to make your administration one of unity and inclusion of all Americans, working together for the good of our nation. I share your vision, pledge my support, and extend my hand to you to help accomplish those goals.

First, let me assure you that you have my prayers that God will grant you divine wisdom, knowledge and understanding to lead this nation, as well as strength of body, mind and soul to be able to withstand the rigorous and surmountable task that is before you. I will continue to keep you, your family, your administration, and the nation in my daily prayers.

Secondly, I want to help in obtaining your goals of inclusion, unity and healing of our nation, across both partisan and racial lines.

I came into the Republican Party in 1979, at a time when inclusion was not a major goal of the party, and being Black and a Republican did not necessarily endear one to the greater black community. Nevertheless, I worked vigorously and was very successful in recruiting blacks into the Republican ranks under President Reagan and your father’s administrations. Using my own resources, I was able to network all over the country and bring into the Republican Party, former Democrats, and those who were not politically active. [Please see newspaper articles that show some of those efforts.]

Page Two: Letter to President Bush

However, at that time, although I was very successful, it was very difficult to get the Republican Party to see minority recruitment, and especially the recruitment of African-Americans as a priority, or to assist me in my efforts. Therefore, after having worked so hard, having expended so much personally, as well as having to deal with the death of my husband, I became weary, ceased my efforts, dropped out politically, and began to focus on other ways to make a difference. As a result of that, many of those recruits fell by the wayside. I still feel as strongly as I did then, that blacks must become active participants in both parties, and to do any less relegates us to second-class citizenship. There are blacks who embrace some of the same ideology and beliefs of the Republican Party, and there are ways to bring them into the party. All of this is apparent from the tremendous success of my past efforts. I strongly believe the doors are still open for even greater success, through joint efforts, despite the present racial divisive climate. However, unless the Republican Party and your administration are serious about inclusion, which I believe you are, it would be a fatal mistake to embark upon this, without being truly sincere, and willing to put every effort into it to make it work.

I have created Project Embrace, which outlines a national campaign to recruit African-Americans and other under represented minorities into the party. A copy of the project is enclosed. Again, I approach the Republican National Committee and now you, to extend my hand to help to accomplish your goals of inclusion. If your administration and the Republican Party are truly sincere about the inclusion of under represented minorities, you have my full support and willingness to assist you in those efforts.

I also have enclosed information on the “Democracy In Action” Program. It is a non-partisan national and global civics educational project. Because it is an educational, and not a political initiative, it invites and encourages partnerships across party lines. The program began in 1976 and in 2001 will become a national and global project, that integrates the use of modern technology in teaching government and good citizenship, and in interacting with students of other cultures, to learn how governments function within other global communities. I solicit your involvement and support.

Information on other national projects that I am working on is also included. Among those is the Digital Divide Parity and Enablement Project, which seeks to bridge the digital divide for Black, Hispanic and Tribal schools, K-12 and higher education; and special needs groups, such as veterans, senior Americans, and the disabled. Because of the many projects, and positive relationships I have with so many minority individuals and groups across the country, such as the DDPE Project, I have found many opportunities to share and exchange dialogue regarding the need for minorities to take a serious look at the Republican Party as a viable political alternative.

Project Embrace already has obtained an overwhelming number of commitments from business and religious leaders; entertainment and sports celebrities; women’s organization; and individuals to work with the project. Especially within the African- American community, this is not only an excellent start, but it is an unprecedented

Page Three: Letter to President Bush

beginning for true embrace. We also have commitments from 100 high profile individuals, to attend the Inauguration to offset the Shadow Inauguration activities. This includes some of the heads of the largest Black churches in the country.

I look forward to working with your administration in repairing breaches, building bridges, and bringing this nation into the glory of the new millennium.

Again, I congratulate you on the election.

Sincerely,

Dr. Jean Howard-Hill

In April 2001, I was called to the White House to discuss the recruitment of minorities and to talk about the Caucus. During that visit, I met with White House Public Liaison, Angela Sailor, and discussed some of the roadblocks we faced in Tennessee in our efforts to recruit minorities. Later through written correspondence, I also sought the White House’s guidance in this matter.

NRAAC
The National Republican African-American Caucus

EMBRACE

FAX

DATE: April 23, 2001

TO: Ms. Angela Sailor,
White House Public Liaison Director

FROM: Dr. Jean Howard-Hill, National Chair

Thank you so much for meeting with us on last week. You were very helpful and encouraging. I am sending you (or dropping off to you) the tape from Fox News covering the NRAAC. It was a great piece! I am faxing a copy of one of the articles.

I still have not heard from RNC as to our affiliation status, therefore we are waiting still to be recognized in Tennessee as a legitimate Republican organization. Despite all of that, things are going remarkably well across the country, with many County Caucuses waiting to charter under the NRAAC. So this is good news!

We also are in our fund raising drive, to raise money for the National headquarters/museum/conference facilities. I will send or drop off a copy of the proposal. If you have any ideas for funding, please let me know. …Also, I will be in Washington, Wednesday-Friday of this week, following up on some of the contacts you gave me. If you have any other suggestions, I am open.

Will we be able to meet with Congressman Watts while he is in Chattanooga? While we were there, you had telephoned his office to make the request. (We appreciated that!)

I will be in my office most of the day, and will be leaving for Washington later tonight.

Thanks again!

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Even with Robin Smith fighting so hard to keep us out of the party, she nevertheless used the opportunity after my visit to the White House to make it appear that she was in support of the Caucus by volunteering to offer a statement to the local newspaper. This really puzzled all of us, especially because she was so adverse to us. I figured this was a way of hedging her and Congressman Wamp’s bet, just in case the White House became friend, instead of foe to the Caucus or me. This way, they could look clean, and stay in the good graces of the President, should he favor our efforts. Until they saw which way the political winds at the White House were blowing, they had to appear to be supportive. But it was not long before they returned to their normal behavior of blocking and relentlessly pursuing us.

After Robin Smith claimed she spoke with the Tennessee State Party, she informed me that they had advised her to have me directly contact the RNC’s general legal counsel before they would recognize us as a legitimate and honorable Republican organization. Therefore, I wrote the State Party and RNC.

NRAAC
The National Republican African-American Caucus

EMBRACE

April 3, 2001

Brian P. Eastin,
Executive Director
Tennessee Republican Party
1922 West End Avenue
Nashville, Tennessee 37203

Dear Mr. Eastin:

Our Hamilton County Party Chair, Robin Smith passed on to me the information from you regarding obtaining approval for affiliation with the RNC. We have sent the information to the RNC and are waiting to hear from them with further instructions.

We look forward to meeting with you, obtaining affiliation with the RNC, and working with the Tennessee Party to bring inclusion of Africa-American and other minorities in the Party across the great state of Tennessee.

Sincerely,

Dr. Jean Howard-Hill
NRAAC national Chair
HCRAAC Chair

Cc: Ms. Robin Smith,
Hamilton County Chair

* * * * * * * * * * * *

NRAAC
The National Republican African-American Caucus

EMBRACE

April 3, 2001

Mr. Joe Jaso,
Director of State and Local Affairs
Republican National Committee
First Street
Washington, D.C.

Dear Mr. Jaso:

Our State Party Executive Director, Brian Eastin indicated that he had spoken with you regarding the proper procedure for obtaining approval for affiliation with the RNC. Upon your recommendation, we tried reaching the Chief Counsel’s office, but have not been able to speak with anyone. Therefore, we have sent the information on the organization directly to you, and will wait to hear from you with further directions. I hope this is okay.

We look forward to obtaining affiliation and working with the Party to bring inclusion of African-Americans and other minorities into the Party.

Sincerely,

Dr. Jean Howard-Hill
NRAAC national Chair
HCRAAC Chair

Cc: Mr. Brian Eastin
Executive Director
Tennessee Republican Party

Ms. Robin Smith,
Hamilton County Chair

* * * * * * * * * * * *

It was unreal what the Caucus was made to do, just so that we could become Black Republicans! Nevertheless, I did everything I was asked to do. But needless to say, even with the help of Congressman Hilleary, we never got this so called legal clearance or recognition from either the state Party or RNC that Robin Smith insisted we needed to become “legit Republicans”. In fact, no one I spoke with at RNC or the Tennessee State Party had the foggiest clue what it was that she was asking me to obtain. However, she assured me it was all pursuant to the Hamilton County Republican Party’s charter, of which she would not provide me with a copy, so that I could use my own legal expertise to carefully review to make a determination of exactly what was required in order for us to become legally recognized. Both the State Party, and RNC were seemingly willing to work together with the Caucus, until this anti-campaign began. But once it was set in motion, they also closed the door to us or remained silent.

As a last attempt to jump through the political loops of Congressman Wamp and Robin Smith, I traveled to Nashville to personally present the Caucus, providing the State Republican Party with a detailed strategic plan for recruitment within the 95 counties in Tennessee that I had developed.

After a very positive, and welcoming meeting with Lance Frizzell, at the state headquarters, the newly elected State Chair Beth Harwell sent me a letter of support for the Caucus. From the personal conversation I had with her, this was done in an effort to perhaps put a cap on some of the confusion that we were having in Hamilton County.

The State Party also made mention of the Caucus in its fall 2001, statewide newsletter.

MINORITY OUTREACH

We are very excited about growing interest in the GOP in minority communities. Republican fiscal policy and our stands on social issues are breaking through the liberal media roadblock

Democrats in Tennessee and nationwide are very worried about the inroads we are making into the Hispanic community. Hispanic opinion leaders have praised President’s Bush education plan while criticizing Tennessee Democrats for stopping Republican Charter Schools legislation 4 years in a row. In the coming weeks, look for the Tennessee Republican Party’s website to be available in Spanish.

We also want to recognize Dr. Jean Howard Hill for her work on behalf of Republicans in the African American community. Her Tennessee Republican African America Caucus [TRAAC] is a comprehensive grassroots outreach program designed to take the republican message to African-Americans.

I immediately responded to Beth Harwell with a letter of gratitude for her support, and expressed a willingness to work together, to get the job done. Also in the letter, I explained that we also needed their support in other ways, because I had exhausted my resources just trying to get legal clearance for the organization.
I also sent her our September/October Caucus Newsletter, and a tentative outline of the TRAAC’s Setting the State Republican African-American Agenda for 2002 to 2004 Leadership Conference, which was planned for November 23rd and 24th 2001. We were moving along with tremendous momentum despite the roadblocks set up by Congressman Wamp and Robin Smith. This was the case, in part because I had not told the Caucus locally or the state and national caucuses the problems I was having in just getting the Caucus to be accepted. I knew if they found out about this, they would become discouraged, and would not want to be Republicans. Except for a few local, state and national board members, I said nothing.

At the 2001 Statesmen Dinner, State Chair Harwell made a special effort to make her way to find me in the crowd to introduce herself, and to personally thank me for the efforts of the Caucus. Lance also had promised to assist us in finding funds, of which would be mostly in-kind contributions, to assist with our recruitment efforts. This was a sigh of relief, because you cannot ask blacks to come into the Republican Party, tell them they are not wanted, and then ask them to fund their own efforts to be a part of something that has closed its heart to them. I was very pleased with the State’s tangible commitment to bring minorities into the Party. It was the first real effort I had seen to embrace us.

But immediately when Congressman Wamp and Robin Smith found out about the letter, Smith claimed she called Beth Harwell, and now the state chairman was no longer willing to support us. In fact, she claimed that she was furious because I had shared the letter of support, and that Ms. Harwell had told her that she had not given it to me for this purpose. I shared the letter at the Pachyderm Club when I introduced to them the Caucus. This left me very confused. Why else did I need or did she write the letter? I never discussed this with Beth Harwell, so I do not know if she said it or not. But this was told to me by a reliable Republican that Robin Smith had said this. With everything else that was happening, I assumed what Robin Smith had said was true, so I stopped circulating the letter from the state chair.

I also saw a change in the State Party. I had invited Lance Frizzell to the reception we hosted at the Faith Based Conference in Memphis. He was there. He sat at my table. He saw. He heard. He observed that the Caucus was in fact a legitimate organization that was successful on a national as well as a state level in recruiting African-Americans into the Party. He had the opportunity to meet some of our local, state and national board members who had flown in for the reception. However, shortly after that when I attempted to discuss with the State Party the problems I was having in obtaining recognition from my local county chair, and congressman, and some of the racist and mean things they were doing to block us, the attitude of the State Party seemed to change. Seeing this, to try to iron out whatever problem that may have arisen that we were not aware of, I requested that they meet with our state Caucus TRAAC board of directors, to see if we could work this matter out, and work together for the good of the Party. But notwithstanding that most of the Board members were pastors or members of the clergy, that request was flatly denied in an interesting e-mail exchange between the Caucus and the State Party, which clearly showed that again, something was working behind the scene.

——-Original Message——-
From: drhill [mailto:ilercttc@bellsouth.net]
Sent: Friday, October 26,2001 7:52 AM
To: Lance Frizzell
Cc: Judy Hill

Subject: Dr. Hill – NRAAC-TRAAC – October 25, 2001

Good morning Lance:

Sorry I was not able to call you when I was in Nashville. I was there as a presenter for the National Title VI Conference, for the Charitable Choice/Faith Based Segment. My session was from 4:-6:00. Because of lively discussion, my session ran over. By the time we finished, and I hung around for questions, it was too far into the evening to call. I left there for Tulsa, OK for the announcement for Bishop Carlton Pearson, who is running for mayor as a Republican, and is a member of our national board. The rest is travel history!

I do want to speak with you, but the board has decided the discussion needs to include them as well. The TRAAC Board would like the opportunity to meet with Beth, Matt and you, so that we can clear up any problems we may be having; determine if there is a true embrace of African-Americas within the state of Tennessee by the Republican Party; get some perspective on where we are going and what the State Party expects of us; how we are going to work together; and how we can work to mutually support each other to accomplish worthwhile and meaningful goals.

We are concerned with the present anti-recruitment climate in Hamilton County, which seemed to have been reinforced by the visit of the executive director during his speech at the Pachyderm’s club a few weeks ago. Not only are we concerned, but there are many good, solid and party supporting white individuals who are equally concerned, and willing to step forward to try to put a cap on what is happening before it reaches a point where the Party is embarrassed or labeled as racists. Not only that, but we owe it to the President, who has put himself out there in the forefront in including minorities in the Party. I believe he is sincere and is a man of principle and integrity. Unfortunately, his vision has not trickled down or it is not always shared by others within the Party. This is why grass roots efforts such as NRAAC/TRAAC are experiencing difficulties in gendering state and local support in places like Hamilton County and Tennessee, despite visible efforts to recruit minorities.

As an organization, we are at the cross roads of how we should proceed with the state of Tennessee. However, as long as the President’s arms are open to us, we will and shall continue to build across the nation, and in those areas within Tennessee where there are good people, who can look beyond race, and get beyond foolishness, and build strong party ties with open arms of embrace.

So if you can facilitate a time within the next week or two, I will advise the board, so that we can travel to Nashville for the meeting. Also this would be a good time for the State Party to meet members of the TRAAC Board.

Thanks Lance. I do appreciate the meetings and conversations I have had with you. You have always been willing to listen, and to try to assist me in finding amicable resolutions. I certainly appreciate that.

I look forward to the meeting. If you need to chat with me regarding the request for a meeting or for any other reason, please feel free to give me a call –423-510-1397.

Dr. Hill

cc: TRAAC Board Members

* * * * * * * * * * * *

——-Original Message——-
From: LanceFrizzell
To: ‘drhill’
Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2001 7:38 PM
Subject: RE: Dr. Hill – NRAAC-TRAAC – October 25, 2001

Hello Dr. Hill,

Sorry for the slow response time on this one. I’ve been deliberating on it for several days. I’m not sure what can be accomplished by another meeting with the state party. Frankly, I thought a lot of the misunderstandings in Hamilton had been worked through some time ago. I’m not sure what you mean by the reference to Matt’s visit to the Pachyderm Club.

On our part, we feel like we have been supportive of you and your organization. We said some very positive things about you in our newsletter. That was our only statewide mailing this year. It went to 60,000 households and cost several, several thousand dollars. My advice would be to move forward. You have the ability to work for and elect Republicans. Like Reagan said, “there’s no limit to what you can achieve if you don’t care who gets the credit”

Please feel free to call on me if I can ever be of service. You are doing worthy work and I urge you to continue. It is a very good cause.

Sincerely,
Lance

* * * * * * * * * * * *

——Original Message——
From: drhill
To: LanceFrizzell
Sent: Wednesday, November 07, 2001 1:26 AM
Subject: Re: Dr. Hill – NRAAC – October 25, 2001

November 7, 2001

Lance
TN Republican Party

Thank you for your response. However, I am not sure why you used the quote from Reagan. This is not a task where anyone is seeking credit, and certainly not me. But for whatever reason, this seems to be what is thought to be the case by a few in Hamilton County, and I see it is now being echoed from the state party. This is very unfortunate. Nevertheless, the call is certain and the task is far too great to be distracted by anything. I appreciate the comment in the newsletter. But I also have made a tremendous sacrifice to support the party with my time, resources [to the tune of over $15,000 and climbing], and by not making public a lot of the things that have happened that could be labeled anti-inclusive and even racist. But I do not give up on the task God has called me and this organization to do, and that is to raise the level of African-Americans, so that they can understand they too share some of the same philosophy of the Republican party.

And since you mention Matt’s visit to Pachyderms, I will explain to you how that impacted upon the situation in a negative way. I had e-mailed the state party asking for advise on how to deal with the problems I was having in Hamilton County. I was totally ignored, and no response was made. However, two weeks after I spoke at the Pachyderm’s club, sharing with them the support I thought we had from the state party and the excitement we had in traveling the 95 counties, the executive director comes to Chattanooga, never once mentions the TRAAC’s efforts, and on top of that gives raving reviews of everyone I mentioned I was having problems with, with me sitting there, and with most people knowing they are giving me problems! Not once in his speech did he address inclusion of minorities as a priority or on the agenda of the party. I did not care if he did not mentioned my name. That is not the point. The point is, if the executive director of the party does not see this as a priority, and recognizes a state-wide effort in his own state that is successfully bringing in African-Americans, then how can you truthfully say the party is supportive of the efforts? It was what he didn’t say that caused people to question if the state party really wants minorities. I am sure you cannot understand the point I am making, and will treat it like all of the other issues I have tried to get your help in resolving. But this is a new day, where the African-Americans coming into the party are not willing to just have issues sweep under the rug just because they may step on the foot [of] someone who is in a position of power. I am for doing what is right, and expecting that out of others as well, regardless of who they are, or the position that they hold. But at this point, I really don’t have the energy to expend on trying to get the state party to understand the importance of doing what is right towards African-Americans. So let’s just let time do it’s job. And in time, perhaps the party will become more sensitive to [the] double standard and “white wall” of silence that is used when dealing with us on issues we consider worthy of crossing the line and becoming a part of the party, even if their philosophy is aligned with the party. It’s a “fairness” and “trust” issue. Situations such as this one, keeps convincing us that we simply cannot always trust you to deal with us fairly, and with the same respect afforded other republicans.

I also think it is a big mistake not to sit down with the TRAAC Board members. But that is your choice. At least we can say we have tried everything within our power to try to reconcile what we see as issues that present barriers to inclusion of minorities within the state of Tennessee

Again, thank you for your response.

cc: TRAAC Board Members

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Frizzell was right. Prior to this matter being raised again, they had mentioned the organization in a favorable way in the statewide mailer. We were certainly appreciative of any mentioning of our organization. But I also was right. Something had changed, and it was necessary to sit down and work this out if the Caucus was to be successful. It also was a mistake not to meet with the board, and to just blow us off, as if we meant nothing.

The Matt King matter was in reference to his visit to Chattanooga, after I had apprized the State Republican Party of the problems I was having, and asked for their assistance, and a meeting with the TRAAC Board. About a week or two after I spoke at the local Pachyderm meeting, and seemingly was well received by them, Matt King, the Executive Director of the State Party spoke to the same group. During his speech, as I indicated in my e-mail response to the State Party, he apparently had met with the county party chair, and the executive director, and others opposed to me, but not once as much as even acknowledged my presence as I sat in the meeting while he spoke. In fact, he went out of his way to ignore me.

That day I made an announcement regarding the Caucus, which was the last time I was allowed to do so, therefore it was not like he did not know I was there or who I was. Besides that, there were only two of us there, other than my daughter who were black! So with only three flies in the bowl of buttermilk, it was easy to figure out who I was, even if I had not stood to make the Caucus announcement. Clearly knowing who I was, he ignored me, and did not have the good manners or common decency to at least greet and pretend to be cordial. Instead he treated me as if I wasn’t there, but proceeded to praise everyone of the individuals whom I had mentioned to the State Party that we were having problems with. It wasn’t just the ordinary recognition. It began with Congressman Wamp, then Robin Smith, and even included Marty Fairbanks! The praise was so thick and flowery that even some who didn’t realize what was going on thought it was a little lavish under the circumstances. They also knew I had visited with the State Party and wondered why he never made mention of the recruitment of minorities, and particularly our efforts as a part of the State Party’s agenda. This was the most classic display of the Republican White Wall of Silence or ”Ignore the Nigger” treatment I had ever witnessed. Not one mention of minority recruitment was made, as he set forth the State Party’s agenda. This said to me, blacks are not a part of our state agenda or priorities-at least not those in the Caucus. The way he intentionally ignored me, if I had not known that I was there myself, I would have sworn under oath, not only was I not there that day, but I did not exist and neither did the Caucus! This was the most humiliating and hurtful thing that could have been done by the State Party. I felt so violated and discouraged. I thought maybe it was just me. So I asked my best friend, Melinda Smith who is white, and also attended the same church as Robin Smith, if I had misinterpreted what had just happened. Her take was the same as mine.

“He just flat, out and out, ignored you, while he made it clear he was on their side”, she observed.

My friend Betty Rice got so upset because of this, that she grabbed Representative Jack Sharpe by the arm and told him he needed to say something to Matt about what had happened or they might lose me in the Party. I don’t know if he did or not. I waited around, but Mr. King never introduced himself to me, or even bothered to talk to me after he finished speaking. He avoided eye contact or any other form of interaction with me. Seeing this, and how hurt and devastated I was, several white Republican friends surrounded me after the meeting, along with a newspaper reporter who was there, to try to make sure I was okay, and to assure me that they did not feel the same way about blacks. Even with their encouragement, I was devastated!
It was apparent that the negative, hate and racial campaign against the Caucus and me was working from Hamilton County to Nashville. Judging from this, and the refusal to set up a meeting with the State Party, I had to wonder if anyone was home at the Republican Ranch! Anyone with any kind of political common sense would realize that if you are serious about recruiting African-Americans within the Republican Party, the most potent source is the African-American church, headed by African-American clergy! To dismiss and brush off a board consisting of African-American clergy or to treat me as a member of the clergy as they had done, being that I was well known, was political suicide for the Party no matter which way you cut it! Yet they did it, and did it with absolutely no respect for the clerical dignity of some of our board members or even respect for me as head of the organization. My request for the meeting was denied and ignored. This was amazingly scary.

When this happened, I knew that as long as Congressman Wamp and Robin Smith had power, and there were those who would conspire with them, blacks in Tennessee were in trouble if they were relying upon the local, or Tennessee State or national Republican Party to be racially conscious, sensitive, fair, or inclusive.
I kept wondering what could I have done to have caused the wrath of Congressman Wamp, Robin Smith, and others to descend upon me. All I wanted was the opportunity to see blacks who had similar ideology become a part of the Republican Party.
As 2003 came in, one by one, I saw from the local to the state level, people who I had talked with and had turned a deaf ear, and ignored me, taking positions of leadership within the Republican Party at all levels. That was a clear signal that the Party was going deeper into racial opposition of African-Americans who did not conform as they thought they should, and they seemed to have no intentions of changing or making things right with the Caucus or with me. This was ever so disheartening and discouraging for those of us who still wanted to be counted among the Republican ranks. It was more than I could bear. So I left the matter in the hands of God. I knew in time, He would command a change, and cause every man or woman to be accountable for their deeds. But I could not help but be grieved to see so many of those who professed to know and serve God be involved. Now I knew that the gods of the Republican Party did indeed see color, and did not have a mind to reason.

They also spread the rumor that all I wanted was money. After having spent so much of my personal funds, which I did not have to spend, to grow and maintain the organization, throughout the years and especially during the dry seasons of my widowhood, even more deeply hurt and disturbed me. It was as if they expected me as a widow, to place a burden upon my own household, and neglect my daughter, just to recruit blacks and other minorities into the Party. The success was evident. Each time I began a black Republican organization, that was true. When I first ran for office, many blacks crossed over with me to the Republican Party.

In the late 1980’s and early 1990’s when I created the National Coalition of Black Republican Women, thousands of African-American women became Republicans. Then as I created the National Republican African-American Caucus, with state and county chapters, the numbers were exceptional! The proof was in the pudding. With this being the case, I would have thought the Party would have been happy to assist in anyway possible to keep the momentum going in recruiting blacks and other minorities into the Party. Other than Congressman Hilleary’s check, and one local Republican’s donation of $25 and $10 from Mike Olin, these were the only funds anyone within the Republican Party gave to carry out our recruitment efforts. This left the burden on me, because how well do I know that when you are recruiting black people into the Republican Party, you have to wait a while before you ask them for money to help with recruitment. It is hard enough to get them in, and then to ask them for money is a no-no!

They tried to make such a big deal of me asking the State Party to search around for in-kind contributions they may have had to assist us with the setting up of our national headquarters. While on the other hand, we were expected to pay our individual $200 per year to the Statesmen Dinner, and $55 or more per person to the annual Lincoln Day Dinner, as our financial contribution to the Party. Not to mention the mailers with numerous requests for campaign donations from Republican candidates, including Congressman Wamp. Adding to this are the almost monthly telephone calls, and constant flow of financial requests for donations from the RNC. Nevertheless, when we made a simple request for help to accomplish the inclusionary goals in which the Party had set forth themselves as a priority, it was made to seem like all we wanted was money. Yet no one complained about any of the other requests for money. Neither did they mention the $1000 contribution Johnny Horne, the only other local black Republican they favored, had requested from fellow Republicans in his letter to them for his campaign for state representative for the 29th district, which they gladly poured money into.

The last straws that broke my back, was the back room politics involved in the election of Wayne Crop as the next county party chair to replace Robin Smith. Behind all of this was Congressman Wamp. Once again, he was using his political maneuverings in order to retain his stronghold over the local and state party. Many in the Party knew this, but kept silent, while it was rumored how Congressman Wamp cut a deal to have his crony, Wayne Crop replace Robin Smith as the local party chair, and cut a deal with the vice chair, Gerald McCormick to support him in his run for state representative, if he did not push the issue of becoming county chair. This was a sure way to continue their control over the local party, being that Crop was a close ally of Wamp.

The “good” Republicans could have used this opportunity to stop Congressman Wamp’s racist and mean spirited regime. However, those involved in cutting the deal, and those looking on, did not feel it necessary to act, or to spare the Party or the President of the embarrassment of being at the head of a party, which could be labeled as racist. Maybe they did not see or understand what was happening. I hope that was the case. Or at least I would like to think it was.

For me, it didn’t take a lot of brains to figure out the political maneuverings
that had taken place. Wayne Crop was one of the names given to attest to me having bad character, although he didn’t really personally know me. But I knew he probably was not particularly fond of blacks, from a case where my husband had represented a client in a discrimination action against him, while he was at the Air Pollution Control Board. Perhaps this is why even with not knowing anything about me, he did not have anything favorable to say about me.

While continuing to block and accuse me of building a power base, there also was rumor that Robin Smith was vigorously vying for the appointment as the Chairwoman of the 2004 George Bush Tennessee State Re-election Campaign. Apparently the Bush campaign wasn’t interested in the black vote. Or they did not understand the damage Robin Smith had done not only in Hamilton County, but throughout Tennessee, and across the country in successfully denying the President the votes of a strong block of African-American Republicans, who but for what was going on as a result of Congressman Wamp and her, would have not only voted for him, but would have actively campaigned on his behalf across the nation to encourage other blacks to support him in 2004. This was even more of a reason why those blacks who had attempted to become Republicans were skeptical of the Party’s true commitment to the inclusion of minorities. You certainly do not ask a racist to head a presidential re-election campaign, if you are truly serious about courting the black vote! We waited to see if the rumor would materialize.

I also watched them as they used other local black clergy, even those who were not Republicans to personally circumvent my efforts with the faith-based initiative, and to exclude me from any further participation at the White House level.
An article in the Monday, July 28, 2003, Chattanooga Times Free Press, showed this to be true. Two years later the same two local pastors that Congressman Wamp and Robin Smith had used to give the illusion of black inclusion, and to prevent the Caucus

I have done my part as a Christian to try to reconcile with you in love. I am sure you know why I sent the e-mail requesting an opportunity to talk to you. There are things you have done, in which we have already talked about, that were not right, i.e. calling the election commission to check my voting record. If you had any doubt, as to whether I was a republican, why couldn’t you have just called and talked with me? But you did this underhandedly, not realizing that someone from the election commission would tell me you had called. This is not a black vs. white issue. The person who told me you had called was a white republican, who has said, she doesn’t mind if I tell you she told me. She has known me since the 70’s, and knows the price I have paid to be sometimes the only black republican that was out there, taking the heat from the African-American community. She was very upset over the inquiry. There are more than a dozen other white republicans who have shared negative things you have said or have come out of the headquarters. From the Republican headquarters, all kinds of petty rumors have been spread. You also have told people that you received information from Congressman Wamp that I was not to be trusted, and that he was not sure I was a republican. You told this to Marty and she has had a field day with it! Along with as many mean and hateful things she could conjure up, she has poisoned the air with gossip. This is not the way a headquarters should be operated, and it certainly does not make for any kind of embrace of the minority community. The pettiness of what is being said, goes on and on. This along with statements that I wanted to grand stand at the Lincoln Day Dinner by singing, just as I did at my husband’s funeral when I song to him, was so cruel. You have no idea how difficult it was to preside over my husband’s homegoing. But by the grace of God, I don’t know how I made it. You cannot tell me this is the kind of behavior that is becoming of a Christian. Even someone who is not professing to know God would not have said anything this hurtful. It seems there is a concerted effort to kill my influence and credibility, and to make it look like I am a trouble maker. And had it not been for those white republicans who know me, and are not so gullibly led, this would have happened.  Yes, the Caucus is being hurt by all of this. There were lies even about members of the caucus sneaking out plates at the Republican women’s picnic.  We bring groups to events, and afterwards mean things are said. This should not be the case. I would think you would be excited that finally you have minorities in the Party. We have asked to be included in the newsletter. At one point you told me, the state party would not allow you to do that without getting legal clearance from the RNC. We have asked again, and you still will not include us. This has caused local republicans and Caucus members to ask me why? Without hurting the party, I have had to dance around this issue.

I have sat back quietly trying to see if all of this would eventually go away. I know I am being set up to look like the “bad” guy and the “troublemaker”. But I can no longer keep quiet, because what is happening affects the welfare of the Party, not only locally, but on a state and national level. Do you not realize how detrimental this can be for the Party, and the embarrassment it would cause the State Party and the President? All eyes and ears are on Tennessee. The White House is carefully following the progress of the NRAAC, and the TRAAC embrace.

Inclusion is something that is dear to the President, and is something he is striving to make as a national mandate for the party. Everything we do, the White House knows about it. Do you even realize how this can affect the Governor’s race? Democrats intend to regain the Governor’s seat. So we are going to need all of the extra votes we can get! Am I missing something as to why you have created a circle of influence, and the headquarters to fight something that everyone else seems to be for? I don’t understand it.

Robin, all I want is peace. I do not like confusion or gossip, and will not be a part of it. This is why I have come directly to you. Just be the Christian you say you are. If there is a problem with me or the organization, lets sit down and try to work it out, and stop all of the gossip and confusion. If I am doing something wrong, let me know. And if we can’t work it out between the two of us, let’s ask for help from the state party. We need to work together to build the party, and not tear it down. I am not looking for a fight with you or anyone else. My energy needs to be used for the task that is before me.

As you said, truth shall prevail.  If I did not truly believe that, I would throw up my hands, give up and become discouraged. But because I do not believe God will allow a lie to overcome the truth, I stand firm and determined to finish the task he has assigned me to do, either in peace or with opposition, believing in my heart beyond a shadow of a doubt that “truth shall prevail”.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

——- Original Message ——-
From: Scott Smith [Robin]
To: drhill
Cc: VMorris347@aol.com ; McCormick ; Madaris, Paulina ; hcgop@usa.net ; Wes Kliner
Sent: Thursday, October 04, 2001 9:11 PM
Subject: Re: Dr. Hill - NRAAC Attachments

Jean,

I have sought counsel from a pastor who has given me the following scripture and is standing in agreement with me on the matter that is at hand:
1 Corinthians 4:3-5
“But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by a human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. For I know of nothing against myself, yet I am not justified by this; but He who judges me is the Lord. Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord comes, who will both bring to light the hidden things of darkness and reveal the counsels of the hearts. Then each one’s praise will come from God.”

I have not spoken any untruth of you. I have not accused you of any of the statements below nor have I repeated any information in relation to you.

The ONE truth is that on March 27, 2001 I requested your voting record be checked after learning of the dissension you had tried to inject in a Minority Committee that had its initial meeting that day during lunch. After I had learned of your attempts to influence members of the committee who met with me to “demand your presence on the program at the Lincoln Day dinner” when I had already informed you that our dinner did not at the time feature any other officially affiliated Republican club on the program and had extended an offer to recognize you if you were successful in obtaining that status from our National or State Party. To my knowledge, this status has not yet been given. On the afternoon of March 27, 2001, you, your daughter, Wes Kliner, Valerie Morris and I sat and discussed the situation of that day and your strenuous opposition of my requesting your voting record.   I explained to you that as Chairman of the local party it was my duty and responsibility to address dissension and confirm the “fruit” of those who sought leadership within our Party, particularly after you had publicly stated that you had been at the local Democratic headquarters on the night of the Presidential elections. As I recall with these witnesses, our words were harsh, direct but we ended a two-hour meeting with prayer, hugs and tears and I pledged to you that as far as I was concerned that day was over and the matter was settled.
I have since referred you to the Chattanoogan.com for media contacts, I have called and congratulated you on your very eloquent remarks in relation to Joanne Favors and the County Commission and have greeted you and your colleagues at the Statesman’s dinner with sincere interest and love.

I will no longer address this matter. I have been and will continue, with the help of my Lord, to serve our Party and this community to win races, foster good citizenship, grow our local party with those of all and any color and heritage and will work with all who share our Republican philosophy and seek the good of our Nation, our state, our community and our Party.

I strongly encourage the work you are doing to serve the Republican Party. I strongly encourage you to work in supporting our elected officials and qualified candidates of races to come. I strongly encourage you to work in recruiting qualified Republicans of all heritage to run for office. I will continue to support the bylaws of our national, state and local party and work with all who support our Party. I welcome your service and appreciate your commitment to our Party.

Serving our Party,
Robin Smith

* * * * * * * * * * * *

From: drhill
To: Scott Smith [Robin]
Cc: VMorris347@aol.com ; McCormick ; Madaris, Paulina ; hcgop@usa.net ; Wes Kliner
Sent: Wednesday, October 05, 2001 1:33 AM
Subject: Re: Dr. Hill
——Original Message——
Robin:

I have no further comments. I stand on the words that truth shall prevail.
Jean
* * * * * * * * * * * *

I wasn’t sure what pastor Ms. Smith had received counsel from, since she was careful to say she had sought counsel from “a” pastor, rather than “her” pastor, who was a man known for tearing down walls of racism. Hopefully it was not Pastor Ron Philips who had given her counsel. However, whoever this pastor was, he failed her in not saying to her, “Go to your sister in peace and love, and prayerfully work this matter out between the two of you in love.” This should have been the godly advice he gave to her. Not some unrelated scripture about judging. What was happening had nothing at all to do with the issue of judging. It was about reconciliation and peace.

At least in her e-mail, she admitted denying us the right to be Republicans. In her own words she says she would only be willing to recognize us if we were successful in obtaining official status from the national and state Party.

It was conclusive that no matter how I sought peace, and reconciliation, the matter of inclusion was not about to be resolved. I took issue with much of what she said in her e-mail. I did not feel it was appropriate to congratulate me on being in opposition to a black democratic elected official. I had sought to only dispel any rumors, as to a claim made by Commissioner Favors that the RNC was trying to get rid of African-American elected officials. As an African-American Republican, I felt it was my duty to align with issues within the black community, but also to dispel any rumors that were not based upon facts. As far as I knew, there were no such efforts on behalf of the RNC’s to do this. Also, I didn’t issue the statement to dispel the rumor. I did it to state the Caucus’ position on the redistricting issue. It had very little to do with Commissioner Favors, other than to also address the statement she had made. But Robin Smith had telephone me to fuel a partisan fire, and make it seem as if I was at odds with Commissioner Favors.

My statement was not intended to personally oppose Commissioner Favors, as Robin Smith had tried to make it seem. I believe Commissioner Favors and I both shared a mutual respect for each other, and I clearly understood what she was trying to do as an African-American commissioner who was faced with the possibility of seeing predominantly black districts become further diluted to the point of decreasing the chances of an African-American from being elected. She was absolutely correct in this. I applauded any efforts in this regard. But at the same time, I was tired of seeing everything through black or white eyes. I longed for the day when electing candidates had nothing at all to do with race, and that day when candidate would work for the best interest of all constituents. I strongly felt that it was time for whites to start voting for black candidates within not only black districts, but white districts as well. I was so sicken by this kind of political segregation which prohibited blacks who lived in more affluent neighborhoods from offering themselves as qualified candidates, just because the districts they lived in were not predominantly black! This was political enslavement, which worked against us.
Nevertheless, I also felt it was important to retain those black districts, until we reached that point and place in America’s history where the race of a qualified candidate was no longer an issue. Therefore, I had tried to work with the two black county commissioners, Commissioner Favors, and Commissioner William Cotton, acting as a “go-between” with the head of the redistricting committee and the other four Republican commissioners who made up a five-member majority Republican County Commission. I did everything within my power to try to assist in working out any conflicts that arose particularly between them and the chairman of the Redistricting Committee, Commissioner Harold Coker.

Just because I had no evidence, that there was an RNC conspiracy, and chose to refute the statement Commissioner Favors made, did not put us personally or politically at odds with each other. Therefore, I was not about to allow Robin Smith to try use this as they had used everything else. If I made a comment, it was because I wanted to, and not because it was something anyone prompted me to make. I also wanted no parts of any vendetta against Commissioner Favors, which now Robin Smith was trying to attempt to get me involved in. In fact, after seeing how they had used blacks in the Party to spy on the Caucus and me, and as puppets on a string to turn black-against-black, I wanted to have nothing to do with this kind of “slave-time politics”. My politics were on a much higher level than mere race and petty vendettas.

I was sick and tired of race being an issue. But it seemed that everywhere you looked, there was some sort of a racial controversy. Now race had become an issue at a local medical facility, Erlanger Hospital. It was sad to see that the Erlanger situation was filled with the same kind of racial disharmony and inability to come to terms with, which was a-typical of what I was experiencing within the Republican Party. It also was disheartening to see some of the players in this scenario were also Republicans. The allegations read:

Fowler Says Trustees Used N Word, One Complained About Sitting Between Two Blacks Says Chairman Copeland Sought To Have JoAnne Favors’ Post Eliminated
posted July 12, 2003 - News at Chattanoogan.com

Lori Ann Fowler testified in a deposition that two Erlanger Medical Center trustees “used the N Word,” and she said a white trustee complained about having to sit between two black trustees.

The hospital board’s executive administrator said board chairman David Copeland was upset about “the black behavior” of County Commissioner JoAnne Favors and sought to have her Erlanger job eliminated.

Race relations at the hospital “are bad,” Ms. Fowler said in the deposition that Erlanger attorneys sought unsuccessfully to have sealed.

She said some trustees “are not respectful of black people.”

She said Mayor Bob Corker sent word that he had concerns about them. She said, “City Hall had made some complaints about race relations at Erlanger.”

Ms. Fowler said Mr. Copeland “sent Irvin Overton down there to tell him it isn’t true.” Mr. Overton, who is black, is an Erlanger vice president.

Asked if what Mr. Overton was told to tell the mayor was true, Ms. Fowler said, “I was aware there were problems.”

Ms. Fowler, who has been on paid administrative leave since last December in connection with an email investigation at the hospital, said Mr. Copeland “uses the N word.” She said, “I think there’s a different attitude toward blacks. I like to think it’s because he’s from a different generation and he just thinks differently.”

She said Mr. Copeland once showed her a picture of his family genealogy and said the N Word was his family nickname. She said that word was under his picture.

She said, “He laughed about it. I found it offensive.”

Ms. Fowler said Mr. Copeland said he got the nickname because his first job was shoveling coal.

In earlier testimony, witnesses said Mr. Copeland was closely allied with several black board members and officials at the hospital, including board members Dr. Bess Ingram and Dr. Calvin Bell and physician Dr. Alan Hughes, and that he worked well with them. He took Jermaine Harper, another black board member, on a 3-day mission with him to look at personnel files of Erlanger officials.

Ms. Fowler said Mr. Copeland referred to “CP Time” when blacks were late for an appointment with him. She said it meant “Colored People Time” and referred to being “slow.”

She said Mr. Copeland became upset with Commissioner Favors, who is administrator of the hospital’s Southside Health Clinics.

Ms. Fowler said Mr. Copeland “said she had cost the hospital half a million dollars because her black behavior made the County Commission mad and they reduced the indigent pay by half a million.”

He said Mr. Copeland “said they could eliminate JoAnne Favors’ position. David said they wouldn’t have JoAnne then.”

She said the proposal was to have hospital official Paula Autry, who is black, go into a new position over cultural diversity and the health centers. She said Ms. Autry would be overseeing the centers and there would be no need for Commissioner Favors.

But she said Ms. Autry felt it was a demotion and “wouldn’t go along with the deal.” Ms. Autry eventually was fired by Erlanger, and she now works at a hospital in Virginia. She is suing Erlanger over her dismissal.

Ms. Fowler said Mr. Copeland said of Mr. Overton “that he was not going to have any power or authority at the hospital.”

She said Mr. Copeland said Charlesetta Woodard-Thompson “will do what she’s told.” Ms. Woodard-Thompson, who is black, is the current interim administrator at Erlanger.

Ms. Fowler, choking with emotion, said when white trustee Dr. Barry Heywood had first come on the board he was looking over the names of other trustees. She said he came to that of trustee Stewart Jenkins and said he was related to him and that Mr. Jenkins “had a nigger son-in-law.”

She said Dr. Heywood complained several times about having to sit between two black trustees at board meetings. She said he stated “it looked like an Oreo cookie.”

She said she told Mr. Copeland about Dr. Heywood’s complaints, and he said, “Just don’t put him between two black people.”

Dr. Heywood is currently heading up a committee to choose a new CEO for Erlanger.

…Ms. Fowler tearfully said at the close of her deposition, “I think I’m going to be fired for what I said today.”

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Now I could see why Robin Smith called to congratulate me regarding Commissioner Joanne Favors.

The David Copeland that was mentioned in the article was a devoted Republican and former state representative. Despite what I read, somewhere in the back of my mind, I still hoped the allegations were not true. Perhaps because I wanted to still believe in the integrity of those in Republican leadership past and present, even though it was obvious that there also were those in the past as well as in the present who had less than honorary intentions and regards towards blacks. I also wanted to believe that Republican racism was confined to politics.

Ironically, the coalition of six black community groups, which appeared before the Human Rights and Human Relations Commission to register their complaints regarding racism at the hospital, addressed the same Human Rights and Human Relations Commission in which Robin Smith had been appointed as a commissioner. Talking about strange fruit! Of all the people who could have effectively served in this position, Robin Smith was appointed to the City of Chattanooga Human Rights Commission! No one could figure this one out! The fruit was just too strange to get a take on why and how this happened!

Many questioned this decisions, and wanted to know if I had shared what was going on with those in elected positions, and if so, how could, and why would they place someone in this kind of position who had fought so adamantly against blacks and other minorities coming into the Republican Party? I could only tell them that I had advised Mayor Coker, by way of letter, as well as every other local elected Republican officials of the problems we were having with her. But as to the “how” and “whys”, I was just as much baffled as they were. They knew, but apparently the decision was made just the same.

This also was the same Commission, which out of nineteen commissioners, three commissioners whose terms had expired were still serving, and five positions on the commission were vacant, with it having been over a year since anyone new, i.e. Robin Smith was appointed. This showed the level of commitment to race issues in Chattanooga, and the seriousness by which the Commission was viewed. Also with the level of Republican presence at City Hall, there was also an opportunity had Republicans wanted to include Republican blacks, to fill at least one of those vacant commission positions with a representative from the Caucus, just as they had hand selected Robin Smith. At least one of us being appointed would have made more sense.

We all remain puzzled over how Robin Smith was appointed to serve on the Human Rights Commission. It was hard to reconcile how someone who was a pharmaceutical representative, with no background in civil rights, community service, negotiations and mediation, and had openly displayed racist behavior was appointed to a committee that dealt with alleged infractions of civil rights laws. Especially since, those appointed her knew a black female Republican with a law degree, and experience in this area, and who would have been a much better qualified appointee. It just wasn’t adding up. Even if they did not want me to serve, there were other Caucus members without law degrees who could have done well in serving in this position. But nevertheless we were excluded and many with expertise in this area were flatly ignored.

From the testimony of Lori Fowler, it showed a blatant pattern and practice of racial discrimination within the Republican Party’s past leadership, which also was seen in the present local party leadership. Seeing and knowing all of this now, I am not so sure if I would be so vocal to refute any such claims made by anyone against the Republican Party on any level, and since I openly refuted Commissioner Favor’s statement, I take this opportunity to get my foot out of my mouth. I humbly and openly apologize to her. Perhaps she may have known something back then, that I didn’t know. Nevertheless, I had given the Republican Party the benefit of the doubt, even during a time when I was fighting my own battles with racism within the Party. But now, with so much racial bias pointed in the direction of Republicans, this caused me to not be as eager or willing to defend the party’s racial practices.
As to the other parts of Robin Smith’s e-mail, I did not recall our meeting at the headquarters ending with any real resolution to the matter. I only knew, I could not leave with the anger I came in with. Therefore, I did embrace them in forgiveness for what they had done. Neither did I recall her greeting our State Board members with love and interest. I took the time to take them around the banquet hall at the Statesmen Dinner, and introduce them to her and other members of the party. I took them to her table where she was seated, Otherwise, she would have never had a need to be cordial to them at all, and would have probably ignored them, just as she had done me.

I had no idea what she meant by me influencing members of the Minority Outreach Committee. There were only four minorities on the committee, other than Wes Kliner who is white. Two of whom were Caucus members, and the other two included Johnny Horne, and one other Hispanic, who was frightened to death to say a word against them in public. Actually it wasn’t really a committee. There was only one meeting, and after that we never heard any more about “minority outreach”. From that, Robin dissolved the committee, and called it by another name, with Wes Kliner still heading it, to train candidates and “us” as minority Republicans without him having any prior expertise or experience in this area.

With the new committee, Caucus members were asked to attend classes to teach “us how to speak and handle ourselves in public”. To this, I quickly responded that the members of our Caucus already knew how to speak and handle themselves in public. Most of them were in ministry, actively involved in church, educators, businesspersons, PhD, and master’s level, and individuals who were leaders in their communities and intelligent people. Therefore, it was an insult to suggest we needed this kind of training. Also, even if there was a need for grooming Caucus leaders, we had plenty of qualified members within our own Caucus who were capable of providing this kind of training. Certainly Wes Kliner, Robin Smith, Zach Wamp, or anyone else in the Party were not capable of training us in any area in which we could not train ourselves. And what made them think we needed training! Training for what? To be nice, little “token-nigger” Republicans? Of course with me being the outspoken person that I am, this did not endear me to Robin Smith. In fact, it made them mad as hell to see a black woman with some degree of intelligence and courage challenge every wrong and devious move they made that was racially insulting to us, and detrimental to the Party. But I could not keep silent. I was tired of racist white folks acting as if we were idiots or so uncivilized that we needed training. I felt Kliner, at that time might have meant well, but unfortunately he was their little puppet on a string, doing everything they asked him to do, not understanding that he was being used, and talked about behind his back by the very same people who pushed him out there to do their political dirty work!

When I very animatedly and vocally expressed this concern, immediately they changed the training to that of potential candidates, and made it into a candidate’s school rather than for minorities. It was one thing to ask Caucus members interested in running for office to attend a candidate’s school, but since they didn’t plan to support any of us for election, except for Johnny Horne, the candidate’s training for us was for naught.

Back when I sent the e-mail to Robin Smith, I also sent it to the County Vice Chairman, Gerald McCormick. He was the only one to respond with some desire to see the matter resolved.

> ——- Original Message ——-
> From: “Gerald McCormick”
> To: “drhill”
> Sent: Wednesday, October 03, 2001 9:59 AM
> Subject: Re: Dr. Hill - NRAAC Attachments
>
>
> > Jean,
> >
> > For the record, I am way out of the loop on what is
> > going on at Headquarters and speak to Robin very
> > rarely. I hope you all are able to work this out to
> > your mutual satisfaction and we can all work toward
> > electing good Republican candidates instead of
> > fighting amongst ourselves. Keep up the good work and
> > I believe your perserverance will pay off in the end.
> > Thank you.
> >
> > Gerald McCormick
> > Vice Chairman- Hamilton County Republican Party
> >
> >

From: “drhill”
To:
Sent: Wednesday, October 03, 2001 10:22 AM
Subject: Re: Dr. Hill - NRAAC Attachments

> Thanks Gerald:
>
> I look forward to the same. You have always been very kind to me, and I
> appreciate that.
>
> I won’t give up. Keep me in your prayers.
>
> Love,
>
> Jean

* * * * * * * * * * * *

McCormick was a pretty decent person. But I knew it would not be long before they would attempt to bring him also under their political control. In fact, from that point on they began to scheme to get Gerald under their control. Before then, they ignored him and treated him like he did not exist, and rarely included him in Party matters or decisions, although he was vice chairman of the local party. They could not afford to have Gerald out there welcoming and wanting to see African-Americans come into the local party, while their agenda was just the opposite, and they were fighting hard to keep us out. Good guess this is why they later maneuvered to get him out of party leadership and vowed to support him as a candidate instead.

Despite my own inner party wranglings, I also was very vocal during the redistricting wrangle. My interest was both as a Republican, and as a member of the African-American community. My political mindset, and the mindset of the Caucus were moving towards a day when politically, blacks could operate outside of the “predominantly black district box”, and get elected by whites, rather than solely being elected by African-American constituents. The Caucus made our position clear in this news release, which I think must have been seen as a political threat to Wamp and Smith, and to some white elected officials who felt as black Republicans, we should only run for office in black districts.

NRAAC
THE NATIONAL REPUBLICAN AFRICAN-AMERICAN CAUCUS

Embrace

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

SEPTEMBER 5, 2001

OFFICIAL STATEMENT OF THE NRAAC, TRAAC AND HCRAAC ON NATIONAL AND HAMILTON COUNTY REDISTRICTING

The NRAAC/TRAAC/HCRAAC, strongly support minority representation, and especially African-Americans at all levels of government. But it is our goal to move away from solely segregated and carved out political opportunities for African-American leadership, and begin to integrate more into the political landscape where qualified leadership is not based upon the color of one’s skin. We hope qualified African-American leaders can be offered up as candidates in any white majority district, Republican or Democrat, and still be supported. This is the true test of both inclusion and integration. We are opposed to any plan, which seems to suggest that the only way for an African-American to be elected is by creating situations where only a majority of blacks are allowed to elect blacks. Many communities, such as those in Hamilton County, Tennessee have become more racially integrated. The African-American population has become more widely dispersed, making it less possible to find exclusive African-American neighborhoods. While some may see this as a threat to electing African-Americans to office, the positive side is that it creates a greater sense of community and the need to work for the common interest of all residents. It also promotes more opportunities for racial reconciliation and harmony. Carving out specific African-American minority districts served its purpose in acquiring political parity in times past, and now may still be the answer in part, for ensuring minority representation. However, it should not continue as the “only way” for African-Americans to have “their political say”.

We are both saddened and disappointed with statements hurled at the Republican Party that the redistricting problems, on a county level is a part of “a national Republican initiative to take away majority Black seats”. This statement is not only inflammatory, but it is totally incorrect and unfounded. Neither the Republican National Committee, the Tennessee Republican Party, nor the Hamilton County Republican Party have discussed, instituted or even suggested that there should be such an initiative. What should be said, is that the Republican Party’s national, state and local agenda is to actively involve and include minorities, particularly African-Americans into the party, and encourage them to participate at all levels, which include qualified candidates running for public office. For any one to allege there is such an initiative is to gravely misinform the African-American community, in an attempt to gain support for one’s own political agenda, by inflaming African-American citizens with the same old “race” and “Republican Party is out to get us” cards. This does irreparable harm in further dividing us as a community, and keeps us as a race, always operating within the “one party” and “black box only”, not understanding, that we are Americans first. Therefore we must become more politically astute, and look for and encourage opportunities to conduct our political affairs in broader political circles, where we can integrate and be accepted for the tremendous contributions to society we have to offer, regardless of party affiliation. On behalf of the more than 1276 African-American Republicans in Hamilton County, and African-American Republicans nationwide, we assure the African-American community, that no such initiative exists. And if it did, as an organization, we would be the first to openly and vigorously oppose it. For we too are Americans of African decent, who are committed to doing what is just, fair and right.

We encourage our African-American leadership when informing the community, to seek factual information. Otherwise, their cries of “wolf, wolf”, when there really is no wolf, will eventually fall even upon deaf African-American ears.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Also, earlier that same month, I had written a letter to the editor of the Chattanooga Times Free Press, the local paper, which was published, identifying what we felt were the true challenges of the redistricting, and black urban flight.

NRAAC

THE NATIONAL REPUBLICAN AFRICAN-AMERICAN CAUCUS

Embrace

LETTER TO THE EDITIOR

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

AUGUST 10, 2001

THE TRUE CHALLENGES OF THE LOCAL REDISTRICTING DILEMMA

There has been a tremendous “urban flight” of African-Americans from the inner city and into the suburbs, due to upward economic mobility, and the desire for housing on larger tracts of land. On the other hand, there is a migration of Whites to some areas of the city. The urban flight out of the City has greatly dispersed African-Americans into traditionally “white majority” and “Republican” districts, resulting in more integrated communities. These signs of upward mobility are encouraging, however, it presents both a “negative” and a “positive” side to the redistricting dilemma.

The negative side is a dilution of the concentration of the African-American voting block, which makes it harder to maintain districts that once contained a “black voting majority”. This leads to the present wrangling over where lines should be drawn and in reaching a redistricting compromise. The solutions to this dilemma include: 1) Re-drawing lines to create minority districts that would contain new census tracks, which might cause minority incumbents to find themselves running in districts where they would have to seek the support of a new base of constituents. 2) Getting their fellow Democratic colleagues to give up portions of their districts containing large blocks of African-Americans, in the spirit of party cooperation, and racial accommodation. 3) Or the least popular of the solutions, gerrymandering, which would allow district lines to be drawn in such a way to accomplish the results of maintaining a two minority districts, by diluting the voting strength of the White districts. This would provide an advantage to African-American voters, while at the same time present problems in carving up other districts in order to strike the right minority balance.

The positive side of the African-American urban flight scenario is the opportunity to live in integrated communities and forge new friendships and relationships. Integrated communities mean children are schooled together; parents are brought together through PTA and mutual involvement of their children; and families interact through other church and community activities. Interaction becomes a part of the norm; common issues, presents opportunities to huddle together to find workable solutions; relationships are built; and people are allowed to fellowship and get to know each other as neighbors, friends, and allies, rather than as racial or political opponents. It is from the positive side, that there comes the hope of one day building a Hamilton County and an America where the best representation is not based upon racially concentrated districts or solely upon partisan politics, but in choosing candidates with true vision and an agenda that brings us together as one. Integration has done its part. Now it is our duty to stop the racial and partisan bickering that only serves to divide us and distract us from the real business at hand, ….which is to love each other as neighbors and build strong, vibrant, and healthy communities, that serve the needs of all of its people.

Dr. Jean Howard-Hill

[Dr. Jean Howard-Hill is the National Chair of the National Republican African-American Caucus. The role of the NRAAC is not just to recruit African-Americans and other minorities into the GOP, but also to promote racial harmony, and encourage non-partisan cooperation on issues that affect our community.]

* * * * * * * * * * * *

At that time I had no idea Commissioner Coker’s seat would be up for grabs. Neither did anyone dare share that with me probably because they knew we would have prepared ourselves before hand to place a candidate in the race. Because seemingly this information was kept from us until the last moment, we were not prepared to put a viable candidate in the race. Therefore, I became the “lamb for the slaughter” to test the waters by running as a Republican candidate for the vacant county commission seat in this predominantly white Republican district.

I did not enter the race to win, but it was necessary for us to gage the white Republican support for the inclusion of African-Americans, and to access the damage that the anti-inclusion campaign of Congressman Wamp and Robin Smith had on the local political landscape. I had no other choice but to run as a write-in candidate because Commissioner Coker did not announce he would not be running for re-election until just a few months before the election. I had been traveling nationally recruiting for the Caucus, and just happened to be home on the weekend, and saw an article in the newspaper. By then, the deadline to qualify with the Election Commission had already passed. Therefore I had to make the decision to run as a write-in candidate, or not at all.

Also because I had been warned that if I or any other black, wanted the support of the local Republican Party, we had to come through the local party chair Robin Smith, and Congressman Wamp, I knew it would be an exercise in political futility. Nonetheless, we had to attempt a test run of our political acceptance.

What happened next was nothing more than the erection of a solid Republican White Wall of Silence.

Part Eight: Republican White Walls of Silence

2009-12-01T12:16:00.000-08:00

If the exclusion had been just at the hands of a few, then it could have been overcome. But when those who knew about it, sat back and quietly let it happened, it added fuel to the fire, which is in part one of the reasons why now, the Republican Party is struggling to attract African Americans. Even those whose religious beliefs are more closely aligned with the Party are relunctant to identify with a party that labels itself as Christians, but whose practices can be so mean spirited, territorial and racist. We simply do not know this god of the Republican Party, as we have seen it in Tennessee.

[Excerpts from my book, Black Eyes Shut - White Lips Sealed.]

Almost everywhere I went, I encountered the Republican White Wall of Silence, coupled with a “snub” which was just down right mean and callous! Even after several trustworthy whites substantiated my story to be true to those in local, state and national leadership, they still remained silent, without a word of reconciliation. On the other hand, some were willing to soothe the pains of those whites who had been retaliated against because they stood with me, while I was left with no encouragement at all. It was as if within the GOP, the suffering of a black victim was less important to that of the white Samaritans who stopped to help.

The fact that Congressman Wamp and Robin Smith had spread negative rumors that I was not to be trusted, and those dealing with me should be careful of me; that I was a trouble maker; that all I wanted from the Party was money; that the reason why I was recruiting blacks and other minorities into the Party was because I was building a power base for myself; and that I wanted all of the attention and credit to go to me, may seem petty, but it was enough to cause many Republicans to become leery of me, and close many doors of cooperation and support locally, as well as on a state and national level. Places I had gone, and individuals and groups I had spoken with who were eager to embrace and welcome blacks and other minorities into the Party from our Caucus were now cold, indifferent, and completely silent.

I had begun a 95 county recruitment tour in Tennessee, and in just less than three months had visited twelve of those counties with successful recruitment results. Now it was difficult, to impossible to get even an ear from whites within some of those counties.

The Republican National Committee also went silent. Even my contacts at the White House refused to return repeated phone calls. It was nothing short of the erection of a solid Republican White Wall of Silence. All because of race and because I would not play dirty politics, Zach Wamp and Robin Smith style.

By labeling me as a “trouble maker”, one who “could not be trusted”, and by telling people to “watch out for me” marred my credibility and reputation, especially since I was a well respected member of the clergy on a local and national level. To say something like this, went to the very heart of my ministry, and my reputation.

Ministers must be trustworthy, otherwise parishioners will not confide in them. Therefore, trust is a major issue. As a minister of the gospel, my job also is to follow peace and to pursue it at all cost. This is something in which I am bound to, and obligated to teach to others. Here again, this is a major issue, which goes to the heart of my calling. You cannot be effective in ministry if you are at the heart of confusion. Ministers are called to be reconciliators, and not troublemakers.

Not only was all of this an issue because of my clerical calling, but also it was an issue as a local, state and national leader within the Republican Party. To be labeled in this manner greatly impacted upon my ability to lead others. That impact was evident among whites, as they began to withdraw themselves from me, and became silent.

In slavery and during the segregation years, racist whites used the same, identical labels as code words to brand those blacks who dared to oppose racism and bigotry. When a racist white said a “nigger” was a “troublemaker”, this meant that he had visions of freedom and equality, which caused him to long for, and seek to be freed of his chains and shackles. If it was said that he “could not be trusted” that meant that now that he yearned for freedom, he could not be trusted as the docile slave that he had been beaten into submission to be. To say “watch out” for him meant keep your eye on him, and watch his every move, because now that he knew he was equal in his heart and before God, everything he did now was suspect, and was to be treated as a threat to keeping him enslaved. Now in the 21st Century, these labels were being used pretty much in the same manner.

I was now asserting the right of African-Americans to have a part in the Republican Party, and to sit at the table of the “power brokers”, to give input and be a part of the decision making of the Party. I was talking about political parity which would force the Party to elect qualified candidates regardless of color, which meant blacks being elected not just in predominantly black districts, but in predominantly white districts as well. This was a threat because it would cut into the white elected power base of the Party, which was almost exclusively white male dominated.

What was even more fearful was that I also was delivering a potent African-American voting block, which could not be controlled by Congressman Wamp or any other dirty, power hungry politician that lacked integrity and sought to use it for their own political gain. Although this is what democracy is all about, and this is the freedom the GOP shouts from the mountaintops, when it came to applying this same political standard to African-American Republicans, it was received with vigorous opposition. The more successful I was with the numbers, in growing the African American presence, the more they withstood me. It was as though Satan himself rose from the pits of hell to fight against me, with all the forces of his demonic powers.

Finally it came to a point where I was forced once again to try and confront the situation to break the deadly silence. To no avail, everyone I tried to speak with regarding this matter avoided me. But by then, Congressman Wamp, and those he used had contaminated anyone and everyone they could talk to locally, and at the state and national levels. Every door was now closed to the Caucus, and personally to me.

The County party chair boasted of having “brought individuals over to their side”, and that they had gotten them “to finally see the light.” Ms. Smith made this comment regarding the Marion County Vice Chair, Connie Grifitt, who for no apparent reason, ceased all communications with me, after we had traveled to her county and was welcomed to return to recruit blacks.

She seemed to have been sincere in welcoming blacks into the Marion County Republican Party, and she and I had become friends, attending political functions together, and talking way over into the night about politics. I thought. But after this, she abruptly ended our friendship, stopped calling, and according to Robin Smith, she had begun to make negative comments about me. I don’t know if this was true or not. I just knew she went totally silent on me for no apparent reason that I knew of.

Anyone in which they felt was in support of the Caucus, or me they approached or telephoned with negative comments to cause them to oppose me, and our recruitment efforts. As Smith and Congressman Wamp made their way across the State and nation with this vicious campaign to destroy and discredit the Caucus and me, one by one, white Republican friends I had made in Tennessee, and as I traveled across the state and nationally went completely silent on me. I saw this as a pattern for how some white Republicans practiced racism. They used silence as a racist tool to discriminate, without the effects of being caught doing or saying anything which would prove just how racist they truly are. But silence is just as potent as a lynching. In fact, it is one in the same. Because if you kill someone’s reputation and credibility, you in fact have killed them off politically. Despite this, I knew I had been called by God for this task, so I had no other alternative except to hang in there and keep moving forward. There was nothing I could do but pray, and ask God to open eyes, unseal lips, and bring those who had been turned against the Caucus and me back to truth.

They went beyond silence and began investigating me, and bragging about doing it. They openly told other Republicans that wherever I went, they were checking my every move, even when I met with individuals at the White House. It was said that there was nothing I could do or any place I could go within the Republican Party that they would not know about. Perhaps this might explain why very abruptly, many doors were shut.

Robin Smith bragged about and claimed that she had personally spoken to Congressman J.C. Watts and had finally convinced him of me, and now he would have nothing to do with me. This might explain why when I was in Congressman Hilleary’s office in Washington, and he tried to get J.C. or someone from his office to see me while I was there, his office would not extend even to him the courtesy as colleagues to facilitate that meeting. This was a white Republican Congressman, trying to get a black Republican Congressman to see a black Republican national leader who was recruiting and doing positive things within the Republican Party. But Hilleary was told, J.C. had his own project for recruitment that he was working on, and no one in J.C.’s office would extend the courtesy to him as a colleague to see me. This certainly had me puzzled. It of course must have made Hilleary wonder as well.
Again, something more was at work behind the scenes, which caused this kind of reaction from someone of my own race. Nevertheless there still was no excuse for J.C. not seeing me, or having someone in his office at least speak with me, which said a lot about who he had become as a black Republican.

Before this, Congressman Watts was willing when he spoke in Chattanooga at the Hamilton County Lincoln Day Dinner to introduce the Caucus. Now it appeared he was ducking and dodging us. Also the White House liaison, Angela Sailor seemed all of a sudden very distant from me. Before she had given me the number to her personal cell phone, and vowed to work together with us to fulfill the inclusion agenda of the President. She seemed to have been a very compassionate, open and supportive sister, who I was looking forward to working with. Her husband Elrod, who was also Chief of Staff for Congressman J.C. Watts also seemed to be an okay person. He had even extended a very warm and cordial invitation to my daughter and I to stay at their home while I was in Washington. They both seemed like down home folks to me. But now I could not get her to return calls, no matter how many messages I left. I thought this also to be a strange and abrupt change from open discussion between two sisters, to dead silence. I thought something surely was behind this and Congressman Watts’ change in attitude. But then again, I couldn’t find out why because no one would return my calls or talk to me. They had managed to blackball me by those of my own race! That was the most disheartening and saddening of all that was done to me. However, it was the way dirty politics were played within the Republican Party. If you wanted to be the Party’s “token”, you had to play the role, whether you wanted to or not, even if that meant shutting out or opposing another one of your own race, without really having a reason to do so. I saw this done from the local level token black, all the way up to the White House and Congress. Any relationship I had forged with anyone that could have become meaningful and advantageous to the President, African-Americans and the Republican Party were brought to a silent halt, regardless of whether they were black or white! While I absolutely did not want anyone to know this was happening because it was so vicious, cruel and mean, Robin Smith was busy, openly making her boast about how they had been able to block me, shut me out, and bring individuals over to their side and way of thinking, and there was nothing we could do about it.

As a part of their investigation, they called over to the Election Commission to check my voting record, of which Robin Smith had to finally admitted to having done. Prior to that, they tried to deny it and pretended they didn’t know what I was talking about. But they were caught red-handed! What they did not know was that since I had worked at the Election Commission many years back as a Deputy Registrar, and most of the people who had been there for awhile knew me and liked me, I also had allies within the camp on both sides of the political aisle. [Which also begs the question: With my experience as a Deputy Registrar, which they knew of, why was one of their cronies appointed to the Election Commission, who had absolutely no experience at all? The answer is obvious. It was another opportunity to block me from serving in any meaningful capacity within the local party and to teach me a lesson, to stay in my place! (Pardon the digression)] So when they sought information on me, one of those persons, who was white and Republican, did not think it was right for them to do this, so she told me about it. After hearing about this, I went over to the County headquarters to find out why they had called.

I was a Republican who had paid a tremendous price to be one. I had always voted in the Republican primaries, and there was no reason why they should have sneaked behind my back to do this.

When my daughter and I arrived, Valerie Morris, who later became the president of the Republican Women’s Club was at the desk, sitting in for Marty Fairbanks, the Executive Director. Wes Kliner was there, who at that time was the Minority Outreach Chairman. This is the same person Robin Smith had gotten to teach “us” how to handle ourselves in public, i.e. Republican training classes, and who later was appointed to the Election Commission. He also had been appointed by Robin Smith to head the efforts to recruit blacks, which really made no sense at all, because he lived in McDonald, Tennessee, was white, and really didn’t have any contact with or any inroads to the African-American community, and certainly did not know the first thing about recruiting minorities. But we all knew this was just another way of blocking minority recruitment, while giving the impression that a mechanism was in place to do so. When it failed to bring blacks in, they could then say, we had a committee and we tried, but no one wanted to join. However, the truth of the matter is that the committee was never created with the intentions of being successful. If they truly wanted to bring in minorities, then why were they blocking every effort we made, and why hadn’t they been able to at least gotten one more black other than the two and a half they had? Also why did they need a committee headed by a white man to do what we were successfully doing ourselves? It is a cardinal rule that “black sheep, beget black sheep”. So how was it that a white man, without any contacts to the black community, who didn’t even live in the area, could reasonably be expected to be successful at recruiting blacks into the Party? Again, I think Kliner’s heart was in the right place, and I don’t doubt his sincerity, nor his faith, but obviously he wasn’t aware that he was being “used”! Apparently something was happening that prevented him from seeing this. Perhaps he was too trusting of white Republican wolves in sheep clothing. Because most people around him saw and knew it. They also knew how they spoke unkindly of him behind his back, while using him.

Robin Smith the County Chair also was there at the headquarters when I arrived. They were not expecting me, because they thought their little dirty Republican secret was between them and the white Republican they had called at the Election Commission. I must admit, I was seeing red, with flames pouring out of my ears! I tried to pray and get myself calmed down before I went in, but the more I thought about how they had treated the Caucus members, how hard I had worked, how financially broke I was because of trying to sustain the recruitment efforts of the Caucus, and now they were investigating me, the more I saw even deeper shades of red, and the more the flames poured from not only my ears, but from my mouth!

I combatively walked in and asked two simple questions: “Who did it?” and “Why?”

Valerie Morris who was filling in at the headquarters, nervously, but immediately rallied to Robin Smith’s defense. While Wes Kliner was left somewhere in between trying to keep face as a professed Promise Keeper, and at the same time appeased the party chair, (which was the only way he would advance within the local party) while also trying to referee what looked like a cat and dog fight between Robin, me and anyone else who was a part of investigating me. Robin Smith had made it clear that according to her, if you wanted to move up in the local party, you had to come through her, Congressman Wamp, or one of the Cokers. So perhaps this was why Wes Kliner did what he could to keep us from killing each other, but wasn’t about to cross her, even if he knew she was dead wrong, and what she was doing was not in Christian love. He knew he had to go along, to get along. But at least when Smith questioned my walk with God, Kliner did rally to my defense.

My poor daughter witnessed the exchange and heard every word that was said. Robin Smith at first flexed her political muscles. I guess this was her way of trying to intimidate me or prove her power and authority. Apparently she did not know that I was not moved by power or authority, but only by what was right. She raged about who she was as chairman of the local party, and how she had to make sure everything within the party was done with her approval. To which Valerie Morris nodded her head in agreement. Then she raged on like a mad woman about how angry she could get because of her Cherokee and Irish blood. At that point, I guess I was supposed to have become intimidated or scared into submission, as she waited for me to back down. Instead, I sat there pleading the Blood of Jesus to keep me calm as I thought, “But for the God within me, I would have taken on my fleshly nature, reached over, grabbed her and whipped the snout out of her!”

If she thought her Cherokee and white Irish blood made her so mad that she had enough nerves to jump me, she hadn’t seen anything until she saw an African, a Nigger and an Indian act up! Feeling my old nature trying to rise up, made me pray even harder. I fought to keep the Edi Amin, Ghetto, Geronimo spirit of the 60s from rising up in me! But thanks be unto God, I was able to keep my old nature from rising up, and retain my cool without completely showing the true colors of my ethnic rainbow. My spiritual anchoring helped me to deal with it both like a lady and a Christian. However not to the point that I would back down without first letting all of them know this was wrong, and just exactly how I felt. Everything they had done to me up to this point was wrong. I had turned every cheek I had to turn. Now it was time for me to speak up and not allow them to continue to run over me, just because I was trying to be like Jesus. Because even when Jesus had enough of the foolishness, he walked into his Father’s House and turned it out!

From that day on, Smith never would meet with me, without having others with her. This perhaps was a wise move on her part, just in case I took a notion to backslide for a few minutes.

It was interesting how during my race for the County Commission seat against two white candidates who ran on the Republican ticket, they never once checked either of their voting records, although one candidate had not been active in politics, and had not registered to vote prior to him running for office, and the other had a consistent democratic voting record. But here I was a loyal and consistent Republican going back to 1979, and they dared to secretly call to check my voting record. I was in the party and voting Republican before Robin Smith and Zach Wamp graduated from high school! Now they were questioning my party loyalty! That was enough to make anyone backslide!

In that same meeting, she also told me that after I had met with Sarah from Senator Thompson’s office to introduce the Caucus that she had called her to inquire if we had her approval. Then she told me that anyone that I went to, and complained about her to, they always would let her know, and would check with her to see if I had cleared things with her. She was insinuating that Sarah had called her to tell her I had complained about her. Which was not the case. She used this as an example to prove to me just how much power she had, and how no one could get pass her in the party, unless she said so. Again she assured me that wherever I went, she would know, because she was the county party chair, and anyone I talked to within the party would always call her first before they made any commitments to work with me and the Caucus.

Although I did not like it, nor did I agree with her Gestapo tactics, at that point I realized what she was saying was true, and that the threats she had made were not idle words.

I had not gone to Senator Thompson’s office to complain. I visited with Sarah to make sure Senator Thompson knew about the Caucus, and to leave information on our organization. While there she asked a question, which led me to respond. I shared with her that it would have been a good move, since Congressman J.C. Watts was going to be the Lincoln Dinner speaker, if while he was here, we could announce the formation of the Caucus, especially since Fox News and Channel 12 had done a special on the formation of the Caucus. She asked me if I had spoken with the party chair and I told her I had, but to no avail. I also mentioned having one of our clergy members participate in the program by doing the prayer, and was a little puzzled that none of the Caucus members had been invited to participate on the program, while the two black pastors giving the benediction and opening prayer, one was not a Republican, and the other had chosen not to be a part of the Caucus. I did not mean any harm, or to make any negative inference to either of the two fellow pastors. They were my brothers in Christ, and fellow clergy. However, the point still remained. We were the ones who were willing to face the opposition we would receive from the African-American community for being Republicans, so why were they chosen and we excluded? I also told Sarah that I had already spoken with Robin about this, and she flatly refused to have any member of the Caucus including me on the program. I didn’t think any more of this, until I got slammed with it that day. But it all made sense then.

After I said my say to Robin Smith, Valerie Morris, and Wes Kliner, my daughter and I left the Republican headquarters. In the car she was extremely quiet. Finally, I broke the silence because it was important for me to know how all of this was affecting her. She had been with me in every meeting and had witnessed every encounter I had with the Republican Party. She had watched the abuse and insults I had endured. She had seen Republican politics at its worse!

LaShunda broke down in tears. Then she said, “Mommie, this makes me not want to ever be involved in politics. I just did not know that people could be so mean and power hungry. I thought the Republican Party was a party with true Christians. But these people who are professing to be Christians, they don’t even act like they know God.”

Her hurt and observations stunned me. Yet I was thinking the same thing. But what broke both of our hearts was when Marty Fairbanks repeated comments that are rumored to have came from Congressman Wamp, and were circulated by Robin Smith about me singing at my husband’s funeral, as I eulogized him. When I was told this, I broke down. For three days straight all I could do was cry. No one knew just how difficult it had been to lose my husband and best friend. Then to have to eulogize him was equally as painful. My singing to him was my way of saying good-bye to the man I loved so much, and how could anyone label that as grandstanding or as being something negative, I could not understand. Congressman Wamp had been there, and even spoke, and how he could have said anything like this to anyone, I could not imagine. I did not want LaShunda to know what had been said, but she had overheard the conversation, and saw me crying. Now not only was my heart aching, but her little heart was broken as well.

She was almost four when Bobby died, but she remembered the service. We were forced to relive that moment of sadness and loss, but under the worse and most cruel circumstances. It was equally as painful to know that part of the last memories I had of my husband alive were of him being at the Hamilton County Republican Convention, before the morning I found him in a pool of blood.

After standing up to Robin Smith that day at the Republican headquarters, this prompted an even more vicious and vindictive campaign not just against the Caucus, but more targeted personally at me. I guess she must have wondered, “How dare this nigger stand up to me!” This meant anyone or anything attached to me were targeted. Nothing was sacred if it could be used to destroy the Caucus and especially me. This is also one of the reasons why after Congressman Wamp had asked one of the Caucus members, Patrick Favors to work in his office, he never followed through, and completely shut him out. Knowing this, in good faith, I could not allow Caucus members to walk into a Republican Party ambush. So I refused to give the Party a list of our members, which they insisted I must give them under the pretense of wanting to include them in the monthly mailing. But if we were not recognized as a legitimate Republican organization, and could not make announcements or place information in this same newsletter, then why would they want to waste the postage to send it to us? Something was strange about their sudden need for the names, addresses and telephone numbers of Caucus members.

I later heard that one of the two and a half, black Republicans in the party had said, we didn’t have a Caucus or members. I guess this was a way of making us prove it. But even that didn’t make any sense to anyone who was rational. By now Caucus members had begun to show up at Republican functions, and Robin Smith, along with one of the two black Republicans who had said this, also had attended our first Caucus meeting. It was so like them to make attempts to sow seeds of division and discord among those in the Caucus, and the two and a half blacks they had in the party.

The Hamilton County Republican politics under Robin Smith’s leadership and Congressman Wamp’ directives, just kept getting stranger. All of the underhanded maneuvering was foreign to me, even with me having seen some pretty politically low down and dirty things during my political lifetime.

Rather than deal with our Caucus, the Republican Party now had chosen to completely ignore us, not only on a local, but also now on a state level. I guess they figured they would surely teach me a lesson that they meant for me to stay in my place, and not ever question how they chose to treat the colored folks in the party.

Robin Smith made it clear to me that if I made waves, they had the power to cut me off. But now the threat extended to the local media. I was warned that Robin Smith checked in with the local press and media, and had people there who would let her know what was going on. So, if I tried to get to them to tell what was going on, she had the power to block it. She already had threatened poor Mary Louise Collins of what would happen if she uttered a word to the press about the way in which I had been treated. Out of fear, and because she did not want it to hurt me, when the reporter from the local newspaper called to inquire about this, she was forced to pretend as if she didn’t know anything. Apparently they had well insulated themselves from any attacks or negative press. I figured now, I didn’t stand a chance, if what they said about having their own base of media support was true.

The media is the source that informs the people. Ideally this is done, fair, impartial, and balanced. But under these circumstances, if it was true what they had said and alluded to, I could not expect to be treated fairly even if I did go to the press with my story.

Perhaps what they said was true. When endorsement time came for the 8th District Commission race, one of the editors of the Chattanooga Times Free Press refused to even discuss my candidacy in his editorial endorsement, describing my position as a write-in candidate as “virtually untenable”. This was done even after I was forced to divulge to him some of the problems I was having within the party, which precipitated such a run as a write-in candidate, and prevented me from meeting the qualifying deadline. He was usually democratic oriented, but I could not help but wonder if this was evidence of their influence. But even if it was true, I was due the same respect and courtesy as the other candidates to at least have had my candidacy discussed and compared to the other candidates. But like everything else, I persevered even over this.

When RNC Chair Governor Raciocot came to town, Smith assured everyone that she would check in with her media people at the local paper and local television stations to make sure I hadn’t planned anything to sabotage his appearance, by sharing that I had sent him a personal letter regarding the problems I was having with her, Wamp and the local Republican Party’s leadership.

Before all of this happened, I always got good press coverage, and never once had any form of negative press. However now this left me with absolutely no refuge in the local media, because I didn’t know the depths of their control or influence, and there was no way of substantiating if what they had said was true, other than by going directly to the media. So I was left to cautiously ponder all of this, until the time came when I could test the waters to determine if this was indeed true.

Next they attempted to silence our community involvement by circumventing and up-staging our Hamilton County Caucus’ Back-to-School Closet Project, by using Johnny Horne as a way of doing this. From the information that had been sent to them, they knew one of the community projects of the local Caucus was the Back-to-School Closet Project which provided school supplies, clothing and other school related items to needy school children. So to take away from it, they encouraged and collected donations in the Pachyderm meeting to support their alleged Minority Outreach Committee, now led by Johnny Horne in his project to do what we had planned to do. This was placed also as an announcement in the Hamilton County GOP Newsletter, while we were denied the privilege of sharing our projects, except through information we gave out when I introduced the Caucus at the Pachyderm meeting. In the newsletter the announcement read:

The Minority Outreach Committee …led by Johnny Horne, represented the Hamilton County Republican Party at the Eastdale Community Center during their Fall Festival. A need for school supplies for these children has been made known to the HCRP [Hamilton County Republican Party] and a generous response resulted in more than $300 of school supplies being given to 100 children. Special thanks to Congressman Zach Wamp’s campaign represented by Rick Tucker, Marty & Randy Fairbanks, Wes Kliner and Bubba Williams for their “elbow grease”. Very special thanks to Top Flight and Gold Bond for assisting us in obtaining these supplies. [Hamilton County GOP News, November/December 2001]

This was done to defeat our efforts, and included support from the same names of those people who were being used to do Congressman Wamp’s and Robin Smith’s dirty work. Where was this “elbow grease” when it came to supporting the Caucus and its efforts to recruit minorities and provide a well needed community service? Not only this, but not one of our Hamilton County African-American Caucus members were members of this fictional Minority Outreach Committee, which now consisted of only one black, Johnny Horne, one or maybe two Hispanics who no one had seen, …and the rest? I guess they were invisible, because no one knew who they were. While we had an active Caucus, which by then had grown in number to 1276 Caucus members! Maybe it was just us, but we felt there was something terribly wrong with this picture.

In that same edition, which I call, the Teach Jean Howard-Hill and her Nigger Caucus Not to Mess with us, But Stay in Their Place Edition, the next paragraph read: (Continue to keep in mind, our Hamilton County Republican African-American Caucus is not allowed to place any information in the Newsletter!)

More Congratulations! …Johnny Horne, who already serves on the Tennessee Commission on Children and Youth as Executive Secretary and in the National Coalition for Juvenile Justice, has received two appointments in the last few months. Johnny was appointed by Mayor Bob Corker to the Human Service Advisory Board in June and in October was asked to serve as Chairman of the Tennessee Minority Issues Committee. Congratulations Johnny! [Hamilton County GOP News, November/December 2001]

It was clear, this edition was for the Caucus, but especially for me! How could the State Party create a Tennessee Minority Issues Committee and not include us?
Then there was the issue of all the appointments going to only one black in the Party. I had made it clear that within our Caucus, no one person would personally benefit. But rather, when there was a need for a minority to serve in a position, we would make that decision within the Caucus, from a list of qualified member candidates, so that we always had qualified people representing the African-American community, and not just a token few. Never would the Caucus have allowed for any one person to have been loaded up with appointments the way they had done. Not to criticize Mr. Horne’s appointments, but with so many qualified members of our Caucus, there were many people with expertise in these areas who would have been ideal to serve in these positions, who were new recruits, as well as others who had been voting black Republicans for twenty to thirty years. Therefore, there was no reason to give all of the appointments to one person who may not have had the adequate experience or qualifications to fill them. But by lavishing upon Johnny Horne all of the “Republican goodies”, this meant they could use him as the Black Republican Poster Child to show how compassionate they were, and how willing they were to have blacks, that is one black like Johnny Horne in the Party. Johnny didn’t make any waves. He had no reason to. They made sure he was well taken care of. Therefore all he needed to do was smile for the Republican Black Kodak Moments. He wasn’t about to oppose them. He certainly posed no threat to them, because he always “went along with them, to get along”, even to the point of separating himself from the Caucus. This made him the sole benefactor of all of the Republican political affection, even if he had only been active within the local Republican Party for a very short period of time. But we were not about to scratch our heads and grin just to be appointed to any position. Nor were we there looking for a hand-out. (Not to say that he was.) So whatever they had to lure us with, if the embrace was not real, and the appointments were not in the best interest of the Party and African-Americans or as a show of sincere inclusion, we weren’t willing to take the bait.

None of this mattered. They needed their token black, and they were willing to do and pay whatever alms necessary to make sure he was the only one. This gave them a rebuttal to any accusations that they were not inclusive of minorities. “Look at Johnny Horne”, they would say. We have opened our arms and accepted him. So it must not have anything to do with being black.”; “She and her Caucus are just troublemakers.”

But even many whites now were beginning to figure it out. It was a true saying. All you have to do is sit back and give a person enough rope to hang themselves. After these two announcements were made, many of them privately expressed to me their displeasure in seeing how Johnny Horne was accepted and appointed to serve in positions in which he may not have been the best or most qualified person to serve, while they ignored those like myself who were more than qualified. What they thought would convince other whites of their embrace of blacks, turned out in many white Republican’s opinion to be nothing more than a sham, and a personal attack on me, which really served to open their eyes to what was happening to the Caucus and me, without me ever having to say a word.

The Caucus also knew that this was just another way of teaching us to stay in our place, and of showing us who had the real power. Nevertheless, to see them use one of our own race, to spite the Caucus and me was an inner blow to us all. Then to have it placed in the newsletter was like rubbing our noses in it. Just thinking about this being in the same Hamilton County Republican Party Newsletter in which Robin Smith had refused to allow our Hamilton County Republican African-American Caucus to print any of our announcements or news–even news of the recruitment efforts, was enough to make me want to just throw up my hands and give up! Month after month, I watched every kind of announcement under the sun appear in the newsletter. But the blacks in the Hamilton County Republican Caucus were silenced.
Not only that, but I could no longer make announcements at the Pachyderm Meetings. After making a few announcements about our Caucus, even as a card holding member of the Pachyderm, I was told that if I had an announcement to make, to give it to the president of the club, and he would channel it through to the group. Yet again, anyone else within the Party, visitors as well, were free to stand up and make whatever announcements they wanted. Anyone except the Caucus and me; because we had been silenced.

Despite all of this, I knew I had to keep my cool, be strong, and not give up, because if I did, so would the rest of the Caucus members. I also knew I was on a spiritual mission, where the powers of darkness would do anything to get me to retreat, give up or to stoop to their level. Because of this, even with the full load of the Caucus on my shoulders not only on a local and state, but a national level as well, I had to keep my composure, and continue to stand for what I knew was right. I could not allow Robin Smith’s temper or Wamp’s viciousness cause me to fail God by fighting back with carnal weapons. My weapons had to be solely spiritual. The only way I got through all of this with my salvation and sanity intact, and without exploding, was because I went deeper into fasting and praying to be able to bear it. I also had prayer warriors both black and white, all across the country standing in the gap and praying for me. It seemed the more we prayed, the more I had to endure.

Next came the silencing of me personally within the Hamilton County Republican Women’s Club. Unanimously I had been elected as an alternate delegate to the National Federation of Republican Women’s Convention in St. Antonio, Texas by the membership of the Republican Women’s Club. But once Congressman Wamp and Robin Smith heard about this, Marty Fairbanks, who was a club member, and was not present the day I was elected, insisted that I had no business going to the national convention. When asked why they did not want me to represent them at the national convention, by another white club member, Grace Williams, being that I had been duly elected, no one, including Marty Fairbanks could give a reason other than my race, and that I had been labeled as a “trouble maker”, and could not be trusted.

The situation got so out of hand that whether I should be allowed to represent the club as a delegate was discussed even in the Republican Women’s State Convention Planning Committee meeting. This may have accounted for why I never heard back from the state chairwoman, Betty Canon. I had met her during a six county recruitment trip in West Tennessee. She seemed very eager to work with the Caucus and me. But I never heard back from her. I was told by the Third District Committeewoman, Connie Griffitt that Mrs. Canon and she would meet with me after the State Convention was over. This was after it had been suggested that I might speak to the State Convention to tell them about the Caucus, and handout materials, but was not allowed to do so. This would have been a great opportunity to welcome our African-American ladies into the National Federation of Republican Women. But again, this was the last I heard of it from either of them.

Also the president at that time of the Republican Women’s Club, June Cooper had openly said in one of the meetings, that she did not want me representing the club. So when it came time to attend the National Federation Convention, which was shortly after the September 11th tragedy, she canceled my reservations so that I would not be able to attend, and told me that they were going to cancel the convention, because no one from Tennessee was going to attend. But in fact, this was not the case. However it was used to prevent me, a black person from representing the Hamilton County Republican Women’s Club at the National Federation of Republican Women’s Convention. They also are believed to have intentionally lost my membership check, which would have disqualified me for membership in the Hamilton County Republican Women’s Club, and as a delegate to the national convention. But when those white members who fought to have me in the club heard about this, they got together, and Betty Rice took her own personal check over to the Republican Party headquarters to prevent them from making this maneuver to oust me. They later told me what had happened. They were embarrassed to have to tell me that this kind of prejudice was in the local Hamilton County Republican Women’s Club, and at the helm of the county party’s leadership. But by then, I already had begun to feel the racial chill, and its icy silence.

The Hamilton County Republican Women’s Club had already made it clear that they did not want me and other black women in the club. Valerie Morris, the same person who was present at the headquarters the day I confronted them, and had been the one used to call the Election Commission as a part of the local party’s secret investigation of me, was elected president of the club. She immediately began her term of office by calling around to tell members that she did not want me in the club, or our Caucus women, and told them that I was a “trouble maker”. When asked what had I done, she could not offer any thing to support her claims. This was something that apparently she had been told by Congressman Wamp, Robin Smith, Marty Fairbanks, and others within their political clique. When she approached Janey Stitt, the Vice President of the club with this, she strongly believed that anyone who wanted to be a member should be accepted and treated the same, and would not go along with the conspiracy to silence and shut me, Caucus members or anyone else out of the club.

I had shared with her what had happened with me and the Caucus, and up until that point, it was hard for her to believe what I was telling her could be true. But after she was approached by Valerie Morris, and heard with her own ears what was being said, she called back to let me know that I was right, because now it had been said personally to her. Because of this, she resigned as Vice Chair and removed her membership from the club.

Then the secretary of the Women’s club, had this brilliant solution to the problem of keeping blacks out of the Women’s club. She offered the suggestion that they let us join, because they had ways to get rid of us. This was unbelievable! How on earth could I tell the African-American women in the Caucus who were looking forward to joining the Hamilton County Republican Women’s Club that neither they nor I were wanted, after I had gotten them all excited about being Republican women?

I decided to keep quiet, and not tell them anything hoping that this too would pass. However it did not pass, but got worse. I had been a member of the Republican Women’s Club going back to 1980, and rejoined when I returned to Chattanooga in 1986, and remained a member up until the time after my husband’s death, when I left Chattanooga in 1993, and just automatically assumed there would be no problem in me returning to the club. Although in the past I had encountered some racism, I over looked it, and counted it as ignorance. It was certainly mild to nothing in comparison to what I now experienced. Although there was this one interesting racial experience from the past.

In recollecting that time before when I was a member of the club, I remembered when I ran for State Representative, Honey Alexander, former Governor and now Senator Lamar Alexander’s wife had come down from Nashville to speak at a campaign event for me. A lady came in with flowers, and asked if she personally could present them to me. But when she realized I was not white, but was black, she replied to the two black women supporters at the door, “Oh I didn’t know she was a nigger!” Then she took her flowers and left. When they told me about this, I could not stop laughing. It was funny to me to see someone be this ignorant and so disappointed because of my race. I was okay with being black, but obviously she wasn’t. Also around 1987, I had been asked to serve as Ways and Means Chair of the Hamilton County Republican Women’s Club, and had been treated very shabbily by a few of the women. But I chalked this up to personalities, rather than anything else, because when my husband died, most of the Republican women had been very supportive. They brought food to the house, sent flowers, and many attended the funeral. So all in all, I ignored the attitudes of those who were a little less accepting of me being black, only because I did not feel this was the majority sentiment or opinion of the other members. Now that I had returned home, and organized the Caucus, I was looking forward to getting back into the club, and was delighted when Mary Louise Collins extended a personal invitation to renew my membership. But things were apparently different now.

Years back, the Hamilton County Republican Women’s picnic was one of our largest events of the year. However now it was quite noticeable that the club had dwindled in membership, so I assumed getting our women involved would have been most welcomed.

When it came time for the Annual Republican Women’s Picnic, our Caucus took several large covered dishes that evening. Our Caucus secretary because it was on a Wednesday night, which was a church night for most black folks, and because she and her husband pastored, was unable to stay. Being a member of the club and having brought food, with plenty of it for everyone, I asked her if she wanted to fix a plate and take it with her. She prepared one for her husband, and herself. I went over to the dessert table and continued to dish out the desserts. While she was preparing her plates, one of the Republican women, who happened to be the wife of one of the county elected officials came over to her, and in a very nasty tone of voice asked, “How many of those plates are ‘you people’ going to fix and take out of here?”

I was praying members of our Caucus did not hear about what she had said. I shared it with Betty Rice, and Connie Griffitt who were at the table with me. When Mary Louis Collins and Betty Rice were told what she had said, they bent over backwards to be even kinder and welcoming to our Caucus members, and wanted to make sure that we did not take this as a sign of not being welcomed by all white Republicans. But a few days after this, rumors floated throughout headquarters, spread by Marty Fairbanks, that the “black people” had come to the picnic and had fixed all of these plates and were slipping them out the back door, and had to be stopped! Despite this we continued to show a substantial presence at Republican functions.

At the 2001 Annual Hamilton County Picnic, with about a crowd of 150, we brought 38 of our Caucus members. With only one to two blacks usually showing up at these events, now to have 38 was substantial. Knowing how they felt about us, I made sure all 38 of us brought the cleaning product they had asked those who were coming to bring. I also told them to make sure they mingled, and to avoid being in a group, because with having this number of African-Americans show up, as opposed to their normal one or two, might cause fear and make the white racists within the Party a little nervous. Because in the 60s, during the Civil Rights Movement, if two or more blacks congregated together, this constituted a riot!

I carefully selected the 38 who were to attend and kept that number under 40 people because I knew by now that the greatest fear was not just of our “color”, but it was a combination of both our “color” and our “numbers”. Just as I predicted, it made some nervous. In fact, Congressman Wamp got so nervous that when he got up and tried to welcome us, he said he was so happy to see so much color or coloreds in the mix! No one white or black were sure if he said “color” or “coloreds”. They all just looked puzzled after his statement.

At Congressman Wamp’s annual picnic, we again showed our presence. This time I decided to gradually increase the number to 65 people. We could have had as many as 250 Caucus members who did not have anything better to do other than enjoy Congressman Wamp’s barbeque on Labor Day, and would have been happy to come. But again, I was afraid to overwhelm the racists within the party, in light of their present fears of having us there, and the possibility of having us take over. Also I was afraid that if we showed up in any larger numbers, this would cause the leaders of the local party to fight us even more. Therefore I only asked a few who I felt could deal with any possible hostility, which at this point had greatly increased to the point this time that Congressman Wamp did not even acknowledge our presence!

At the Hamilton County Republican picnic, Robin Smith and Congressman Wamp did manage to welcome us, but at his picnic, he welcomed everyone else, his neighbors, his friends, his neighbor’s neighbor, his friend’s friends, and everyone else. Except us! He totally ignored us. It was hard to over look us because this time, fearing possible hostility, I asked everyone to sit together, and try to stay together this time, as opposed to having asked them to mingle at the last event. We all sat together in the top to middle bleachers. It looked like a “colored only” section at a Woolworth lunch counter back in the early 60s!

When a few whites sat next to us, we wondered if they knew this was segregated seating by political design. Except for Johnny Horne and his wife, and a couple we never saw before, this is where the “coloreds” sat. Because our presence was so obvious, this apparently made Congressman Wamp even more nervous. It certainly made a liar out of those who had said, we didn’t have any members. But our increased presence didn’t warrant a welcome, which led us to take that as an unwelcome.
Rather than get upset, I joked and told the Caucus members, “That’s okay if he ignores us! Let’s just eat his food and be happy little colored Republicans. And make sure this time, we all fix more than one plate and one by one sneak them out the door! Cuz this is some good eating!” Pointing to the cooler, I added, “Oh, …and don’t forget to grab some of that good Mayfield’s ice cream he got over there!”
This eased the tension at least for us.

All during the picnic, we joked with each other about this. They were brave to have endured this, because I was brave. However nothing was funny about the insult, and the way in which we were being treated. But when you have had to endure as much racism as we have had to endure as a race, you realize that sometimes you just have to laugh at racist ignorant white folks, rather than get upset about it. There certainly was plenty enough of them within the Wamp-Smith camp to deal with! For them, no matter what we did, or how many of us who showed up, we just were not going to be recognized, welcomed or accepted.

Because of what had happened at the Wamp Picnic, by the time the day came around for me to speak at Pachyderms, none of the Caucus members wanted to come, and I didn’t blame them. We only had seven or eight to show up. But even that was a crowd in comparison to the “one” they normally had. I was no longer hiding the truth from Caucus members. From that point on, they knew they were not wanted, and would never be accepted as political co-equals as long as Congressman Wamp and Robin Smith were in power.

I watched many of the Hamilton County 1276 African-American Republicans, and over 5000 throughout the state, fall back into the political shadows. After all of the hard work, and the sacrifice of time and resources, I was completely devastated to see all of my efforts, seemingly be in vain. I feared we would never be able to rebuild the kind of momentum that we had in Hamilton County, across the state or throughout the nation.

As if everything that had happened was not enough. The fierce campaign of defamation continued against me. Marty Fairbanks started the rumor that I had stolen items at the Republican Women’s Picnic. According to her, at the picnic, I had not paid for a record player I took from the auction. Now they were accusing me of stealing! I guess that makes what my father use to say true. That some whites thought all black folks stole, just because they were black! Fortunately I had written a check and had given it to the person in charge of the auction, which was my friend Mary Louise Collins. Also my daughter was helping with the auction, and knew I had given her the check. Discovering this, Marty then had to recant her story. But by then, the damage was already done. Added to being a ”troublemaker”, and “someone not to be trusted”, also I was a “thief”!

I was affected even outside of politics. The campaign seemingly spilled over into anything I did. I took Caucus literature to a known Republican printer, and thinking nothing of this, mentioned it to Robin Smith. That was the last I heard back from the printing company, which was closely aligned with Congressman Wamp and Robin Smith.

I also was called by the executive director of a local non-profit organization to get me to do consultant work for them relating to faith-based funding. I sent them a proposal, and in it was reference to my Republican involvement. I figured because the individual I spoke with was Republican, he must have spoken to Congressman Wamp or Robin Smith, because all of a sudden, they no longer needed my services or continued their communication with me. When I did finally call him, I was told, “This is an impressive package. We will get back to you in the future, if we need your services”. This was strange because when I spoke with him the first time, this was something that appeared to have been an urgent priority. Now he tabled it for the future, a future which years later, still has not come. I knew then there was something “dirty” behind this sudden brush-off from this charitable based organization.

A white pastor from Georgia, called Republican headquarters after hearing about the prophetic letter I sent to the president. Negative comments about me were made to him. Now they were trashing me to fellow clergy. Also they had done the same to one of the pastors within the Pachyderm Club, who later became president of the club.
I applied for a position at a local two-year college in nearby northern Georgia, and also seemingly was impacted. With a law degree, and prior graduate and undergraduate teaching experience, I was told I did not have the qualifications they were looking for to head a community college criminal justice department. At the last moment, they were looking for someone to fill the position, who had less qualifications. If this wasn’t a classic textbook, law school example of discrimination, I don’t know what is! I had mentioned that I had applied for the position in Republican congressional company while attending a reception in Lafayette, Georgia. I may have been just paranoid, but after all that I had seen, I had to think that me not getting the position was a mixture of racism and politics at work even across the Georgia state line. Otherwise the reason why I was not hired, or my application to just teach a few classes was denied, just simply did not make sense. Not in the world of academia, where a college normally looks for the most qualified candidates, rather than those who are less qualified.

I also had been invited to speak in Lafayette, Georgia at an annual Republican function, and had met a lot of extremely nice whites who seemed interested in establishing caucuses within their state. But when I prepared and sent a strategic plan for recruitment of blacks to the elected officials in Northern Georgia, no one responded. Again, it may have been just my political paranoia kicking in, but I thought that was kind of strange to see the same kind of silence coming from a neighboring state. I wasn’t sure what was going on in northern Georgia. But it appeared to be another shutout.

Later I found out from a white Republican that news of me being a “trouble maker” had been spread to northern Georgia. I wasn’t sure if this would be a repeat performance of what I was experiencing in Tennessee, but one thing I believed, Congressman Wamp was behind it one way or the other.

The defamation continued. When some whites within the party questioned if what they had said about me was true, they were assured that it was. According to Robin Smith and Marty Fairbanks, if anyone did not believe what she or Robin Smith had to say about me, there were several people who would support their claims. She freely and publicly gave out the names of Congressman Zach Wamp, Commissioner Harold Coker and his wife Lil, Wayne Crop, and one other person who the person who told me was not able to recall. According to them, these people were ready and willing to stand by them and substantiate everything they had said about me.

I was very surprised to hear Harold Coker’s name was on the list. I had sent Commission Coker, Representative Bobby Wood, and Gene Hunt a “big brother” letter asking them for their advice on how to deal with this matter. In that letter I wrote:

NRAAC

THE NATIONAL REPUBLICAN AFRICAN-AMERICAN CAUCUS

Embrace

October 5, 2001

I need some “big brother’s” advice.

I am having problems on the local level with the County Chair Robin Smith. I have made every attempt to resolve the matter, to no avail. Because I greatly respect you and have confidence that you will steer me in the right direction, I am coming to you for guidance in how to proceed in handling this matter.

I am greatly concerned because we have such a strong following in Hamilton County of African-Americans who have crossed the line and have become Republicans. Never have we had such a large number as we now have. But I am afraid that if this matter is not resolved wisely, it will escalate into an embarrassment to the Party, which could reverse and damage the in routes we have made. Right now, the Democratic Party would want nothing more than to see African-Americans have problems with acceptance within the GOP. In the year 2002, both the Democrats, including African-American Democrats are lining up their strategy to use the Florida fiasco and play the race card. This being the case, we do not need to have anything happen that will allude to there being a racial problem within the Republican Party. Can you imagine how this will play out in light of the battle the County Commission just fought over redistricting? I am not sure if the problems I am having stem from race, or if they are just individuals who want to be mean. I do not know what it is, but I do know it needs to be resolved quickly, wisely and privately among Republicans.

I have enclosed all of my correspondence to Robin and to Congressman Wamp. Please take a moment and look at what I have written, and advise me if I have done anything that would warrant confusion or that is unbecoming as a leader or a Christian/minister. I welcome the opportunity to be corrected, if I am wrong, and will humbly apologize to anyone I have offended, and make it right.

I have paid a tremendous price to be a Republican. I have fought many battles and have won the respect of both Democrats and the African-American community. But the fighting that is going on within the Party is something I cannot comprehend. It is the most painful battle of them all.

Please give me the benefit of your advise in how to resolve this matter.

Thanks,

Jean
[Dr. Jean Howard-Hill]

Commissioner Coker did give me a call. I was not in when the call came, so he left a message on my answering service that he was on his way out of town, but he wanted to get back with me. He said that he was my oldest Republican friend, and that from the materials he had read, I had certainly done a lot of hard work, and that you aren’t always appreciated for the hard work you do. But that he believed I loved the Party. He told me the only thing he saw that I might be doing wrong is that I might be trying to move a little too fast. I appreciated his advice, although I wasn’t sure how I might be moving too fast just to have blacks who wanted to be a part of the Party, being that the President had made it a mandate to reach out to minorities. Despite what they had said, about him being willing to speak evil of me, I had to take him at his word that he was a friend, and that what they had said was not true. So I decided to ignore the use of his name as an enemy to me. Even if when he decided to retire as County Commissioner, knowing I would have made an excellent replacement, he did not support me. I had worked with Commissioner Coker during the Democracy In Action program. Therefore he knew I had probably a better understanding of county government and commission function than most of the commissioners who were already serving on the county commission. This coupled with my law degree made me a more than qualified candidate.

I also knew Representative Bobby Woods going back to Democracy In Action. His wife before she died was a very precious Christian woman, and a dear friend. I thought him to be a friend as well, and a brother in the Lord, so I was surprised not to hear back from him. I left the package with his son Glen, but for whatever reason he never responded. I was later told that one of the people involved in working against me were members of his church. Perhaps because of this, he did not respond. Although that would have been even all the better reason to facilitate peace between the two of us. But as a professed brother in the Lord, I had to give him the benefit of the doubt, just as I had done Coker.

I had the same letter and package for County Executive Claude Ramsey, since I also had known him going back to 1976 when I began the Democracy In Action program in the two local school systems. I attempted to hand deliver it, but I did not feel comfortable leaving it in his office, without putting it in his hands. I called. He was out. He returned my call, but I was out. Playing telephone tag, and with so much going on, I never got to speak with him. But I had met with him before this to discuss the Caucus and to give him information on the organization. I also personally hand-delivered a copy of the letter I sent to all of the elected Republican officials to his office. He had always responded in the past, and had even attended the Historically Black Colleges and Universities [HBCU] Technology Briefing I held in Chattanooga. Therefore, I also added him to the list of those I should give the benefit of the doubt.

I also called Gene Hunt, because we had been such good friends and campaign buddies back in the 80s. His response was, “You sure have been busy. You have done a lot of work for the Party.” He said that he didn’t see anything wrong that I was doing. We joked about some other things, as we always did, and ended the call.

My race for the county commission seat for the 8th district also was evidenced of them working to influence others to shut the Caucus and me out. The race was an interesting one. Although I do not have anything personal against either candidate, and did not perceive any prejudice from either of them, it was obvious that those who had warned me that they would continue to silence and block me in whatever I did in the party, were once again living up to their promises.

It was difficult to imagine a twenty-two year veteran African-American candidate having to run as a write-in candidate in a predominantly white Republican district, while two white gentlemen, one of whom had no locally known prior Republican history. In fact he only registered to vote March of the same month of the same month he decided to run for office, and had never since that time voted in a county election, at least during the seven years in which he resided in Chattanooga, Tennessee after moving here. The other candidate according to his voting record, [which bears repeating again-they checked mine, but did not bother to check his], consistently voted as a Democrat in every primary from 1992 to 2000. Which meant he probably was a Democrat during that time, and did not vote for Bush. It was hard to believe that either of these two gentlemen would be supported by the County Chair Robin Smith after she had so adamantly boasted to me and others that she would not allow anyone to be a part of the local Republican Party, or run as a candidate who did not pass her Republican litmus test, and prove by their voting records they were “real” Republicans. Yet they checked my records, which showed a consistent Republican Primary voting history, and denied me full access and participation, and even stood to block my campaign, as a write-in candidate.

Neither of these gentlemen had ever to my knowledge attended a Pachyderm meeting. However, they were allowed to address the Pachyderm club as candidates, while as a member of the group since 1987, I was excluded, because I was not in the opinion of those in leadership considered a “qualified” candidate. I did not have but four weeks to campaign to test the waters of Republican inclusion, before the primary election. The last week of the campaign, I sent out a mailer. It was obvious from the qualifications of the other two candidates, that I was more qualified for office. But by then, both of them had built their own solid base of supporters, who were not about to switch over to another candidate who was black, even if I was more qualified.

What was interesting was that although the local party was always trying to get a black Republican Johnny Horne to run against a white Democratic Brenda Turner in a predominantly black district, after I mentioned the need for African-American Republican candidates to run successfully in predominantly white districts, in the letter to the editor, everyone remained as quiet as a mouse to keep me from knowing that the commission seat within my district was up for grabs. I knew nothing about it until it appeared in the newspaper. I may be wrong, and welcome the opportunity to be corrected. But I believe this was done by design to prevent me from successfully running. I couldn’t believe anything less than this in light of how I was treated as I stepped out as a candidate.

The other two candidates names appeared in the Hamilton County Republican Newsletter, and in the Party’s e-mail sent out to Republicans, while my name was excluded. The e-mail used the term “qualified” candidate, as a way of saying they did not sanction or approve of me running as a write-in candidate, and that I would not be allowed to address my own Pachyderm Club.

A white Republican friend received the e-mail, and sent it to me. They had taken me off the e-mail list, so that I would not receive any information from the local party. Also they had stopped sending me newsletters. Nevertheless, the e-mail was forwarded to me and read:

> From: HCGOP
> Reply To: HCGOP-News-owner@yahoogroups.com
> Sent: Thursday, May 2, 2002 2:41 PM
> To: HCGOP-News
> Subject: [HCGOP-News] Pachyderm Speakers & Election Night
>
> The Pachyderm speakers on Monday, May 6th will be Qualified Republican
> Candidates for County Commission District 7 seat:
> Larry Henry and Mark Richman.
>
> The Pachyderm speaker on Monday, May 13th will be Congressman Ed Bryant,
> Republican Candidate for U.S. Senate.
>
> The Hamilton County Republican Headquarters will be open after the polls
> close on Election Night, Tuesday, May 7th to watch the returns. All
> Republicans are welcome.

* * * * * * * * * * *

When I attended a Pachyderm meeting prior to this e-mail being sent, and tried to announce my run as a Republican write-in candidate, I was repeatedly ignored by the club. With my hand raised, he kept looking at me and saying, “Only qualified candidates will be allowed to speak.” Again, I saw those who spiritually should have known better, succumb to the influence of mean spirited and racist politics. But although it hurt so much inside to witness this, God gave me the inner strength to keep my hand up when I really wanted to just leave. But I waited until he was forced to recognize me. At that time in a humble and gracious way, I announced my candidacy to the surprising response of those white Pachyderm members who applauded and showed their pleasure that I was in the race. Many came up to me after the meeting to wish me well, even if they did not reside within my district. Some explained they had already committed their support, but had they known I was running, they would have supported me. That was okay. I understood, and did not expect them to break the commitment they had made to the other two candidates.
Needless to say, I did not win. But it was meant as a test to see if the Republican Party was ready to embrace a qualified African-American Republican candidate. Also God would not allow me to be bitter about the election, or to have any ill will against either of the two candidates.

God told me that it was his will that Larry Henry should win, but it also was his will that I should run, and said, “There is a purpose for you being in this race. Although you will not win this time, it shall lead to a future victory. Do not speak evil of either of these gentlemen, other than to speak the truth. They are not your enemies.”

I had no reason to have spoken evil of them, because neither of them knew what had happened to me. They were just candidates who wanted to win.

Later God said:

“In time, I am going to use them to be a voice, and with at least one of them, I will use to stand up in boldness to speak truth, and challenge the wrong that is being secretly and silently done within the Republican Party, because My Spirit resides within him, and he has a heart to do what is right. If he will allow Me to use him, I will break down many racial and partisan walls through his leadership. He will not be swayed, because just like you, I will strengthen him, and in time will send him on this mission, and he will not fail.”

I felt a lot better once I heard this. I wasn’t upset with either of them. From my knowledge, they had nothing to do with what was being done to me by others in the Party.

A few months after this, things got so bad, that I finally reached my limits. At that point, I cried out to God, “Lord I can’t take any more!”
With this cry, I felt the hand of God reach down and embrace me. Then He said, “Yes you can take it, because I have ordained you to be strong, and to carry this burden. Do not back down! Keep moving forward. What they have done to you, I am going to take it and make it count for a greater good.”

God instructed me to write a letter and personally hand deliver it to the Republican elected officials, and call and personally fax it to Andy Card at the White House, and Marc Racicot at the RNC. It was ironic that on the very day of the anniversary of Bobby’s death, God had me prepare and deliver this letter.

On April 8, 2002, I went to the Pachyderm meeting so heavy, and burdened that I could hardly keep from showing my grief and pain. Every time I thought about the last time I saw Bobby alive and functioning was at the Hamilton County Republican Convention, I fought hard to hold back the tears. LaShunda was my strength, but she too was affected by everything that had happened. She kept observing me with a careful and watchful eye to see how I was faring. When I could not take it any more, I went out for a moment to pull myself together. As I walked around the parking lot, I cried out once again to God, “Lord! I need an extra portion of your strength and your grace. I am so heavy Lord, and the load seems even heavier today.”

With the same comfort in which God had always consoled me, He wrapped his arms around me, and I could feel him pouring into me, as He said:

“You shall be strong, and you shall endure even this day. I am with you, and not one of the instructions I have given you has been for naught. I have even a reason for choosing this day, the day of your deepest sorrow, and will turn it around one day, and cause it to become a day of tremendous rejoicing. Just be faithful, and steadfast, and watch me prove myself to you in time. Now go back in there, and do what I have called you to do!”

Although my heart was heavy with grief. God’s words encouraged me to go back inside, and to have the strength to complete the assignment He had given me to do that day. I silently sat savoring every word God had said. Inside I hummed a song of praise to God for his faithfulness in getting me through every test and every situation. I knew He also would get me through this day.
After the meeting, I did as God had instructed and delivered this letter to everyone to whom God said to send it.

NRAAC

THE NATIONAL REPUBLICAN AFRICAN-AMERICAN CAUCUS

Embrace

CONFIDENTIAL

APRIL 8, 2002

TO: THE HONORABLE REPUBLICAN ELECTED OFFICIALS:
GOVERNOR DON SUNDQUIST
SENATOR FRED THOMPSON
SENATOR BILL FRIST
COUNTY EXECUTIVE CLAUDE RAMSEY
MAYOR BOB CORKER
SENATOR DAVID FOWLERS
REPRESENTATIVE BOBBY WOOD
REPRESENTATIVE CHRIS CLEMS
REPRESENTATIVE JIM VINCENT
REPRESENTATIVE JACK SHARP
COUNTY COMMISSIONER BILL HULLANDER
COUNTY COMMISSIONER HAROLD COKER
COUNTY COMMISSIONER CHAROLETT VANDERGRIFF
COUNTY COMMISSIONER RICHARD CASAVANT
COUNTY COMMISSIONER FRED SKILLERN
GENERAL BILL COX
SHERIFF JOHN CUPP
COUNTY ASSESSOR BILL BENNETT
COUNTY REGISTRAR OF DEEDS, PAM HURST
JUDGE SUZANNE BAILEY
JUDGE RUSSELL BEAN
JUDGE FRANK BROWN
JUDGE REBECCA STERNS
JUDGE RONALD DURBY
JUDGE MICHAEL CARTER

FROM: DR. JEAN HOWARD-HILL,
NRAAC NAT’L CHAIR, TRAAC STATE CHAIR

CC: NRAAC BOARD MEMBERS
TRAAC BOARD MEMBERS
HRAAC BOARD MEMBERS
RNC Chair, Honorable Governor Marc Racicot
President Bush’s Chief of Staff, Andrew H. Card Jr.

Page Two: Memo to Elected Officials

Please excuse the informal, rather than individual manner in which I am addressing you. But this was the most expedient way to bring a most urgent matter to your attention.

I greatly respect your leadership, and deeply regret having to advise you, that unless the following matter is amicably resolved within the next thirty days, I will be forced to proceed with the filing of a discrimination and defamation action against, Congressman Zack Wamp, Robin Smith, the Hamilton County Republican Party, Marty Fairbanks, Wesley Kliner, the Hamilton County Republican Women’s Club, Valeria Morris, and the Tennessee Republican Party.

Because of my strong commitment to the party, and my earnest desire not to bring injury or embarrassment to you as an elected official, as a matter of courtesy, I bring this matter to your attention, should you desire the opportunity to investigate the merits of my accusations, and do whatever you may think is appropriate to bring this matter to a quiet and amicable conclusion, without bringing further public embarrassment to the Party.

It is not my intentions, or the organization’s intentions to harm the Republican Party or embarrass those “good” Republicans who operate with moral convictions, and a sense of what is “right” and what is “wrong”. Neither do I wish to harm those who have welcomed African-Americans within the Party, and do truly believe they have a right to be Republicans, and play vital roles within the Party. However, there are Republicans within the Party, who have adamantly opposed and brought personal injuries to me, through continuous malicious and egregious defamatory gossip and statements, and have sought to bar me out of active participation within the Party, as well as members of the organization, despite the tremendous sacrifices and efforts we have made to bring African-Americans into the Party within Hamilton County, and throughout the State of Tennessee.

To no avail, I have made every attempt to resolve this matter with those parties involved. I have been saddened and greatly disappointed that no one has been willing to sit down, discuss this matter, and bring it to an amicable resolution, which is certainly in the best interest of the party. For several months now, the organization and I have pulled back, praying and quietly hoping that this matter would righting itself, or go away. However, turning the other cheek, has only given the powers to be, even more opportunities to continue their discriminatory and defamatory conduct. Because of this, I have been forced to take legal action as a final recourse.

I will be more than happy to share with you those facts upon which I am asserting my allegations, substantiated by e-mails and other written communications. Also, there are several sources within the Party, all white, who can substantiate those claims. I am very grateful for those individuals of principle, who have stood against the racist statements, acts, and malicious gossip, and have distinguished themselves from such conduct. However, some of those individuals, because of threats of reprisals and retaliation that already have been made against them, should they speak out, will need to be kept confidential for their own protection. I feel a moral obligation not to expose them, at this time, unless they can be afforded protection against future reprisals. It is not my desire to bring this matter to court. It would be unfortunate should “good” republicans be subpoenaed, and risk having to make a decision between perjuring themselves or enduring the possible impending Republican political reprimands, as a result of them telling the truth.

The entire incident has left me speechless. Never in a lifetime would I have believed that after spending over $1700 of my own personal money to fund the organization, investing so much time and energy in putting together recruitment strategy, traveling throughout the State and nation implementing it, and recruiting over 1276 African-Americans within Hamilton County alone,

Page Three: Memo to Elected Officials

[which includes prominent pastors and influential individuals, as well as forming working relationships with organizations that have histories of being anti-Republican], that I now would have to face my own Party, and fight racism and such ugliness. I am saddened, hurt, and even embarrassed. Nevertheless, I am a Republican by philosophy, and will continue to be a strong Republican. I also have a personal responsibility to those African-Americans in Hamilton County, as well as across the State of Tennessee, and nationwide, who have embraced the Party and have made a risky sacrifice to go against the often “brutally embedded democratic mentality” of the African-American community, and face the “rebuke” of those of their own race, to become Republicans because of my recruitment efforts, now only to find they are no more welcomed by the Party as Republicans, than they now are endeared by the African-American community for becoming a Republican! This is devastating. Therefore, I have an even greater obligation that goes beyond my personal injuries, to do everything within my power to try to right this wrong, and protect their best interest, even to the point of filing this lawsuit to ensure, not only African-Americans, but people of all races have the right to be treated equally, and with respect within the Republican Party.

I know I have placed myself in a highly vicarious position in going against the “Republican Political Giants” in ensuring African-Americans are welcomed and treated fairly within the Party. But there comes a time in one’s life, when what is being said and done is so blatantly wrong, that the David spirit which is within them, despite how small and insignificant they may be, must stand up to the “Political Goliath”, and say it is wrong, and that this is enough! I realize I am a “David” in this situation. But the cause is far too great, and the injuries run much too deep to stand back and allow the “Giants” to continue to prevail to the detriment of the Party I love, and have pledged my allegiance and support.

I appreciate “good” Republicans such as you, who will continue to move forward to embrace people of all races, and welcome them into the ranks of the Republican Party. I am also encouraged to know that there are many “good” Republicans who are standing with open embrace. Unfortunately, a small minority of “bad” Republicans can tarnish the good for which we all stand.

I look forward to an opportunity to resolve this matter, so that it does not cause injury to you as a friend, and highly esteemed Republican elected official, and the State Party, or bring national embarrassment to the Republican National Committee and to the President.

I invite your input and wisdom over the next thirty days, and I am more than willing to sit down at the table to seek peace, so that we get beyond this, and move forward as a strong, viable and inclusive Party. I also hope this matter does not injure our friendship or working relationship.

Also, despite attempts to keep me from full participation within the local party, this week I will be announcing my run for County Commissioner for the 7th District, Harold Coker’s seat, as a “write-in candidate”. Each term, my friends and family, regardless of party affiliation, have worked hard to re-elect Commissioner Coker. The electing of a qualified African-American republican from a predominantly white district will speak louder than any mere words of embrace can ever echo. It also will send a powerful and clear message to African-Americans, that the Republican Party truly is a “Party of Inclusion and Opportunity”. I look forward to the opportunity to serve the people of the 7th District, should I be elected. I would appreciate your vote and your support.

Thank you, and for those of you who are up for re-election, please let the local Caucus know what we can do to help. Most of the Hamilton County and state elected officials have received information on the Caucus. But if you have not, please let us know, and we will be happy to send it to you, and place you on our mailing list.

The second letter I sent was to the RNC Chair, Marc Racicot. I also sent a copy of both letters to Andy Card at the White House. I entrusted his office to get the letter to the president.

NRAAC

THE NATIONAL REPUBLICAN AFRICAN-AMERICAN CAUCUS

Embrace

CONFIDENTIAL

April 8, 2002

Honorable Governor Marc Racicot
Chairman
Republican National Committee
310 First Street S.E.
Washington, D.C. 20003

Dear Chairman Racicot:

Congratulations on your appointment to the leadership of the Republican Party. There is much work to be done to bring the GOP message to the grass roots communities.

I continue to have a strong commitment to bring minorities, and especially African-Americans within the Republican Party. We have worked very long and hard to do this. However, despite these efforts and commitments, we are faced with situations that are both disappointing and discouraging.

In my own county of Hamilton County, and state of Tennessee, we are experiencing unexpected racism and opposition. The opposition is coming from a very small minority. However, I am encouraged to know that there are many “good” Republicans who are standing with open embrace. Nevertheless, a small minority threatens to tarnish the image of the Party. I have exercised all of our options to sit down like “good” and “loyal” Republicans, and bring this matter to a quiet and amicable resolution, without further embarrassment and injury to the Party. But instead, I have been met with refusals to discuss this matter, retaliation, and continuing malicious acts, and personal injuries. This has forced me to exercise the only remedy left. That is to bring a racial discrimination and defamation action against those individuals involved, as well as the county and state Republican Party.

Because I do believe the President is sincere in his desire to include minorities, and because I do not wish to bring any public humiliation, embarrassment or injury to him, I am bringing this matter to your attention, in hopes that it will be properly and immediately dealt with to avoid legal action. Please also be advised that there are eleven other high profile African-American leaders throughout the United States, who also have experienced similar situations, and are prepared to join me in a racial, and gender discrimination class action suit. These collective incidents seem to strongly substantiate and establish a blatant pattern of practice and treatment of African-Americans within the Party throughout the United States, and warrants serious attention.

Unfortunately, this matter will not go away without the Republican Party taking action. We can not continue to take a back seat to “Goliath”, and tolerate his constant insults and blatant, malicious acts of “racial terrorism”, to continue to go unchecked and unabated.

Page Two: Letter to RNC Chairman Racicot

We have to stand and fight those “wrongs” that tarnish the principles and true spirit of the Republican Party. No longer can we sit back and allow the “Tyrant Republican Goliaths” to trample upon the rights of individuals who wish to become Republicans, and stand as “gatekeepers” to bar them from the Party simply because of race, and the self-serving motives of those bent upon using their
oppressive power to destroy others. No longer can they depend upon silence, and fear of retaliation as an intended response to their “terror”. This is wrong, and should never be condoned or tolerated by anyone regardless of their political rank or position.

Not only does it hurt the Party when “black eyes are shut” to truths that would otherwise open their eyes to the Republican philosophy, and cause them to accept it, but it equally damages the Party, when “white lips are sealed” and unwilling to speak out, and take action against wrongs that are perpetrated against African-Americans who have made tremendous personal sacrifices to stand against their own, and openly embrace the Republican ideology. I have done my part, and have paid a tremendous personal price to open the eyes of African-Americans to the ills of relegating themselves solely to one political party, and to educate and convince them of the positive message of the Republican Party. Now I call upon the “good” Republicans to break the “Republican white-wall of silence”, and to unseal white lips, and speak out against this wrong, so that the Party can grow into a true Party of racial and ethnic inclusion. I bring this to your attention because I am confident you will do the right thing.

Enclosed is a letter I have addressed to all Hamilton County elected officials, bringing this matter to their attention, and allowing them the opportunity to do what is right in clearing up this matter. I highly respect each of them, and feel confident that they too will take the lead, and do what is right.

Again, I deeply regret having to take this action, and strongly encourage you to look into this matter, and bring it to a halt. I am more than willing to work this matter out to avoid litigation. However, I am also prepared and committed to take it to whatever level that is necessary in order to ensure people of all races, and especially African-Americans are welcomed within the Republican Party, and are treated equally and with the same respect, and afforded the same opportunities for full participation, on all levels, as any other white Republican.

I look forward to discussing this matter with you, and I am more than willing to sit down at the “table of equality” to bring a quiet and speedy resolution to this matter.

Thank you for the opportunity to bring this matter to your attention. I am sorry we have to meet under these circumstances. However, I look forward to continuing to work with the Republican National Committee, each State Party, and President Bush to warmly embrace the African-American community.

Sincerely,

Dr. Jean Howard-Hill,
Nat’l Chair/TRAAC State Chair

Cc: The Honorable President G. W. Bush
NRAAC BOARD MEMBERS
TRAAC BOARD MEMBERS
HCRAAC BOARD MEMBERS
State and Hamilton County Elected Officials

Shortly after I hand delivered the April 8th letters, some rather strange things occurred around my house. I cannot say if they were Republican related, but it appeared someone was trying to scare or intimidate me. Someone was outside my house slamming chairs up against the wall around 2:43 in the morning, and my car was tampered with. Again I can’t say they left a Republican calling card behind, or that this was done by anyone opposing me. However, after hearing stories from other African-American Republicans about the scare tactics they were subjected to, I didn’t put anything pass those who operated in political racism and terrorism.

The night of the chair slamming, my first impression was that someone was trying to break in. I was not afraid because my daughter and I had lived under God’s divine protection, and had no reason to fear anyone or anything. We had angels encamped inside and outside of our home. Therefore, I relaxed knowing they could handle whatever was going on outside. All God had me do was go down stairs, and just listen. The noise was loud enough to awake me, had I been asleep. But it was around the time I am normally up writing or praying. I sat down stairs listening and continuing my nightly prayer.

As I prayed and listened God said, “Would a thief announce himself if he was here to break in?”

I thought about the wisdom of this. I continued to sit in a chair by the door, just listening, and praying. Finally whoever it was stopped.
A week later, on the eve of the election, my ignition and steering wheel of my Mercedes had been jammed. I called the police to make a report, and left the rest in God’s hand. But one thing was for sure, my faith and trust was in God. Therefore, I did not fear whatever someone was trying to do to me.

Weeks later, RNC Chair, Governor Racicot came to Chattanooga, and just like those on the local and state level, he also was silent. He ignored my request to meet with him, and at the Lincoln Day Dinner, along with other elected officials, not even knowing anything about Robin Smith, except what he had been told. Yet he bestowed unprecedented glory and praise upon her.

Many whites who now stood with me did not attend the dinner as a show of protest, and because they had heard what had happened to Mary Louise Collins, and how they had tried to prevent her from selling tickets to the event because she supported me. Those that did go, called to tell me how sickened they were to see everyone from candidates to elected officials to Racicot, praise Robin Smith, knowing what she had done to the Caucus, and especially to me. Some vowed to stop sending money to the RNC because of this.

Following that, Vice President Cheney addressed the State Party at the Statesmen’s Dinner. I am not sure if he knew anything about what was happening, but there were those in the White House who did, because I called and personally made sure the letter was faxed directly to the RNC and White House so that it went directly to Racicot and Card. They all came into the state, and never once said a word to us or to try to remedy the problem or to show any support for recruiting African-Americans into the Party. This made it really hard to understand why later in a January 2, 2003, Associate Press articles, entitled, GOP chairman courts minority candidates, voters, that same RNC chair Marc Racicot was quoted to say, “Republicans must attract more minority candidates and voters into their ranks even though that process will take time and lots of work.”

There has been so much that has happened that it is impossible to share it all. I wish I could just erase all of it out of my memory, and awaken to a new day where Republicans are more accepting of minorities. But the decision to ignore my cry for help, and the attempts to silence us testifies for itself that there are those within the Republican Party on a local, state and national level that do not want to seriously include African-Americans within the GOP ranks.
I still hesitate to question the sincerity of the President to include African-Americans and other minorities. But it is apparent that his sincerity is not shared by those at the grass roots level, and not by some in leadership.

I had come to know, just as many other blacks across the country that the common practice within the Republican Party is to ignore the complaints or ill treatment of African-Americans. Case in point, is my own attempt to bring to elected officials the problems I was experiencing, and to give them an opportunity to help me to resolve those issues in the best interest of the Party. I guess it can be best summed up this way. African-American Republicans don’t count! Therefore they can be ignored, blackballed, silenced, and mistreated all in the same sweep, and no one from the bottom to the top cares in the least; and if they do, they dare not say a word.

There is something about the silence of whites that goes all the way back to slavery. Back then, we were not considered as human beings with the intelligence to understand what was being spoken or said about us. Neither were we thought of as having feelings or the capacity to be emotionally effected. Therefore, we often were ignored and treated as if we were invisible and unimportant. It was unheard of for any white to give an account of the most heinous deeds if they involved someone who was black. I saw this same kind of slave-time political mentality as the cries of the Caucus and me were ignored, just as though we did not exist. Perhaps in the eyes of those I went to, they saw no injustices or need to respond to us because we still existed to them as the invisible, inhuman beast of yesteryear.

I remember an incident that took place summer 1976. A fellow student and I were on our way through Mississippi from the campus of Ole Miss. Just before we got to the Tennessee state line, a pickup truck with two white men attacked a black truck driver. Hanging out of the pickup, one of the white men had a baseball bat beating it against the windshield and window of the cab of the truck. Although they were not doing the beating, other white drivers helped the two white men to box the truck in. They proceeded up the road terrorizing this poor black trucker, with no one coming to his aid. The scene was something I can never forget. Whites just ignored what was happening, while blacks were paralyzed with fear, as this black man was being beaten. This was my first up-close taste of the deadly sin of white silence to racial injustices. It was an indoctrination that made me realize how those who said and did nothing during slavery, and the segregation era were just as much to blame, as those who carried out the acts.

During the course of the period of waiting for the Republican White Wall of Silence to be broken, every word God said proved true. I kept a journal of every prophetic word, often sharing them with those who were standing in the gap in prayer on my behalf, and praying for a change within the Republican Party. It made me know and understand that God was not just idly sitting in heaven allowing wrong to be done, without a day of reckoning. I continued to pray for those who mistreated me and the Caucus. I had to, because to do anything other than this, placed me in the same position as they were. I was determined not to be counted among those who would hate, or sow seeds of discord. Neither would I be one who was so full of political greed and power hungry, as to trample under foot, anyone felt to be a threat. But they did just the opposite. They continued to defame my name, even after I pulled back, and stopped attending regular meetings.

I was so deeply saddened after I had addressed my letter to each elected official, that none of them called, spoke to me, met with me, or made any attempts to assure me that the Caucus members or I were welcomed in the Party and that racism was not practiced or condoned by them. Although some had meetings regarding other whites who complained about Robin Smith and Marty Fairbanks, they never made any attempt to meet with me or attempt to hear my side of the story or to assist me in amicably and quietly resolving the matter. If they heard about what had happened to me, it seemed they preferred to hear it from someone white, rather than from me and the Caucus. Even upon hearing it from whites, they still did nothing.

I gave the leadership of the Republican Party ample time to facilitate a quiet reconciliation and resolution of this matter. In fact, I did everything except get down on my knees begging. But no one responded! There were those who made bets that I was bluffing, and wouldn’t file a lawsuit against the Party. Again this showed the kind of insensitivity that is within the Republican Party. Instead of sitting down with me, and trying to work this matter out, there were those who were making wagers on whether or not I had the courage to stand up and fight! I realized from this that clearly the Republican Party does not take African-Americans seriously. We to them, are no more than invisible ghosts who need only to show up at election time and vote Republican. However, until the next election, we are expected to pay our dues to become members of Republican organizations that may or may not offer us opportunities for full or equal participation, and help to build the war chest for candidates by writing the check or buying an over priced opportunity to sit at the annual Lincoln Day or Statesmen’s Dinner and other Republican functions!

They continued to ignore and silence me. They continued to mock me, and the boldness in which they flaunted their insults and mockery was blatant, brazen, mean spirited, and unbelievable. But what they failed to realize was that I was continuously fasting and praying, laying before God, seeking His direction, and waiting for Him to tell me when and what to do.
Each time I went before God in prayer, the answer was always the same.

“Wait. Bear the load, and endure the insults. It’s not time yet to tell your story or to publicly fight this battle. Don’t let anyone or anything push you to move prematurely. There are things that must take place first before you make your move. There are many mistakes they will make because of their bold arrogance and false sense of security. The foolishness of their own pride, and the intoxication from their own power will cause them to make moves and decisions without regards to the consequences. The full picture must be developed first before you move. Jean, sit back, keep praying, and just continue to write!”

With this in mind, I was assured that when and if I made any move, it would be a “God move” and a “God decision”, and it would not be prompted by my own reactions to the injustices I was being dealt or for personal reasons.
November 2002 came, and God was still saying wait before I moved with any form of action. His only instructions to me were to write. Even with the book, He admonished me not to get ahead of him, and publish prematurely. He showed me a vision of a clock that hung over America, with twenty-four events that had to take place before I could publish the three books I was writing. Then He said:

“I have something that will take place before January, and in the days that will follow, that when it all has taken place, that shall be my signal to you that it is time. I have to uncover the racism, one layer at a time, and bring it to light before you can come forth. Otherwise, they will not believe your story. It will seem too bizarre for anyone to believe, unless they see first it happening to others. The demons of racism within the Party have insulated themselves so well behind religion and hypocrisy, that it will take all of this to root them out, so that they can be removed from the Party, and it can return back to what I birthed it to be. Be patient Jean. In time you will understand and see it all come to pass. Then you will know when it is time to come forth with your story.”

Shortly after this, just as God said, the uncovering began. The Trent Lott embarrassment was the first to hit the news. But God said:

“Not yet! They still will not believe you, nor be softened from this blow. This is just the beginning. I have many other things that I shall set in motion before you can proceed. But in the meantime, keep writing, and do not become bitter. Overcome their hate with love. Keep quiet, and hidden for a while, until I tell you to come forth.”

I obeyed God and did whatever I could in the background to remain a good Republican, and encouraged those who followed me to pray and wait for God to go before us and clear out our paths. After the Trent Lott incident, many other incidents happened just as God had said, including the uncovering of racism at Erlanger Hospital.

As I watched each event unfold, and waited for the time for me to come forth, I tried hard to come up with legitimate reasons for the silence, and why we were not welcomed into the Party. We did not come in waving the red, green and black flag of the Motherland or with clinched fists, shouting “Black Power”, as in the days of the Civil Rights Movement. Neither did we come in with threats to the Party of a hostile black take over. All we wanted was to be responsible Republicans, and in being Republicans, also address those issues, which related to people of color. What could have been wrong with this? I hoped and prayed that within my lifetime we would see a change in the hearts and mindset of the Party that we were willing to pledge our allegiance.

The letter to RNC also was sent to the White House. But somewhere deep inside of me, I did not believe that the President had seen it, or was completely apprized of the situation. Neither did I believe he knew about all the other African-American Republicans across the country who were experiencing some of the same problems I was having. At least I prayed this was the case, and the reason for the silent White House.

I continued to try to make sense of the silence on a local level as well. I had met with the District Attorney Bill Cox, and had he and his wife sit at my tables at the fundraiser for the Bethlehem Center. When I met with him, it was to introduce the Caucus, and to work with him to improve and change the perception within the black community that the District Attorney’s office was anti-black, when it came to the prosecution of cases. The meeting went well. I got a chance to see him, not as a prosecutor, but as a person. I was impressed with what he said. He shared with me that when he runs for election, he runs as a Republican. But as soon as that election is over, and he comes into his office, he was the District Attorney for all the people. I could appreciate his position. I saw in him a sense of fairness, which went beyond his party affiliation. He was very cordial to me, and expressed a willingness to work with the Caucus, and to cooperate in any way possible to dispel this myth and perception within the black community. Before I left, God said, “Do not leave without praying for him”. So I asked if I could have prayer with him. We prayed, and from that meeting, I was convinced that this was a man of integrity. When he did not respond, I figured it was because he felt a need to steer away from partisan politics for the same reasons he gave me that day in his office. I honestly tried hard to come up with excuses for all of them.

I had a few minutes to chat with Lamar Alexander when he spoke for the Pachyderms while he was on the campaign trail. When I reminded him that I served on his Tennessee Tomorrow Youth Advisory Board when he was Governor, and that he and his wife had come down to campaign for me, he remembered who I was. I wasn’t sure if at that time, I would be forced to bring action against the Party, so I felt it no more than right to let him know of that possibility, since I did not want anything I did to affect his chances of being elected. Briefly I said to him, “I am having some problems within the Party, and I just wanted you to know about them. I am doing everything I can to get them resolved, but if they are not resolved, they could affect your election and become an embarrassment to the Party and to the President. I really don’t want to see this happen. If you can do anything to help resolve this matter, I would appreciate it.”

I told him I had a package which contained the information. He asked me to get with one of his campaign staff, to give him the information. I did, and he assured me he would give it his attention. From the corner of my eye, I could see Robin Smith watching, and I knew that as soon as I finished with him, she was certain to follow it up, or have Congressman Wamp follow it up to defuse anything I might have to say. Despite this, as a Christian, I knew it was right to let Lamar Alexander know what was going on with the Caucus, and me even if he did not respond. He and his wife were kind and supportive enough to help me when I first came into the Party, and I could never forget anyone’s act of kindness. It was the right thing to do. I did not want him to be blindsided with this later. Perhaps his reason for not responding to me was that he had too much on his plate at that time with his election to get involved. So I figured once the elections were over I would hear from him. I am still waiting.

Judge Ron Durby was also a long time friend. Our friendship went back to our legal service days when we worked together. I had hung out for a few minutes with Judge Mike Carter, and Judge Durby at the Presidential Inauguration. Judge Carter seemed very warm and kind. Both of them were auctioneers at the Republican Women’s Annual Picnic. Judge Ron was always a kidder, and he and Judge Mike were the funniest pair of auctioneers you could imagine.

During our days at legal services, there were never any signs of Ron being anything other than fair in his treatment of black clients, and co-workers. When neither of them or the other judges responded, I thought perhaps their position as judges may have placed them in a position where if they did, they may have needed to protect their response from being used later in any legal proceeding where they might have been called as a potential witness. Although I would have never compromised their position as judges, this reason I could understand.

I applied the same judicial reasoning to Judge Brown, Judge Bailey, and the other Republican judges I knew who did not respond. I just hoped those who really knew me, like Judge Durby, and some of the other elected officials, and long term Republicans who knew me before they knew Congressman Wamp, Robin Smith, Marty Fairbanks, Wayne Crop, and Valerie Morrison, and the others would in some way, do something to ease my pain, and open the door for acceptance for blacks within the Party, even if it was behind the scenes. Maybe they did, but just didn’t tell me what they had done. I hoped that was the case.

All I could do was hope someone would do the right thing, as I sought their help in resolving this matter, quietly. I could not make anyone respond or do what was right. For those who did not respond, I could only hope and pray that it was not because they also were racists, who practiced and condoned racism in the Party.

I shut my eyes, and tried hard to block out the silence–especially from those who I had known all of my Republican life, and had counted as friends, and even brothers in Christ. But there was one truth, I had come to know about the Republican Party. There were those in the Party who preached loud, and lived nothing of what they preached. So I could not always count upon those who professed to be Christians or God fearing to do the right thing.

To make sure that I did not hurt the Republican Party was also my reasons for sharing the same concern with Senator Frist, when I met with his chief of staff, Emily Reynolds in Washington back in 2001. I found myself doing everything I possibly could not to allow the racism and mean spiritedness on the local level, which had spread to the State and national, from tarnishing the image of the Republican Party as a whole, and affecting the President.

In another attempt to reach the President and Senator Frist, I sent an e-mail to someone who was associated with a Republican conservative forum, and also personally knew Senator Frist’s chief of staff. I felt maybe a sister in Christ, perhaps could get the message through, since she had been so willing to get President Bush the prophetic word that had been given, during the September 11th tragedy. This also netted silence. Each day I received group e-mails from her, but not once did she even as much as acknowledge me as a sister in Christ, or even as a person and respond to my e-mail. I could not understand this because this was someone who was always out front and outspoken in championing moral causes. But again, the religious of them all, turned a deaf ear. Shortly after that, and with word of the book coming out, without me requesting it, I was removed from the subscribe list, and no longer received e-mails from her or the forum.

I had hoped since Senator Frist had replaced Senator Lott as Majority leader, and since he was aware of what was happening by way of his Chief of Staff, when I met with her, as well as through the letter I hand delivered to his Chattanooga office, that he would at least broach this subject with me and the Caucus. I thought he would have been the first person to want to see this matter resolved if not for our sake, at least for the sake of the Party and President to prevent it from later becoming an embarrassment to both. But again, my hope was in vain. I was more disappointed with Senator Frist’s failure to respond than any of the others for a different reason. Because when I went before God, He said:

“A man who knows and cares for the heart, ought to be sensitive enough to know when a heart is broken and battered. I sent him to Washington as one who would be able to identify with the hearts of all men, and to care for each heart, with the proper political care, as he has medically for his patients. It was My will to make him vice president, but now, I will not honor My will to exalt him, until he clears up this offense. For he knew, and failed to care for your heart, and those within the Caucus, whose hearts were broken by silence and rejection.”

This is perhaps what happens when a good man begins to associate with someone as rotten to the core as Zach Wamp. Yet some how I just felt Senator Frist should have known better. Maybe I had placed him too high on the pedestal. Who knows his reasons for not embracing us. Perhaps in time, he will speak for himself.
It appeared there was no one willing to do what was right, and break the silence in order to resolve the matter. I guess all of the African-American Republicans that had been and could have been recruited into the GOP was not important to them. Even with the presidential election coming up in 2004, no one felt it was important.

My mind went to a Monday, July 28, 2003, Chattanooga Times Free Press article. The article quoted Pamela Mantis, the RNC’s spokeswoman as saying the GOP wants to recruit more blacks. “We are out there talking about Republican Party policies and initiatives that benefit the African-American community.”

I wondered “who” was out there talking “where”, about “what”? I was curious about their desire to recruit “us”, that she spoke of. Because for many of us African-American Republicans, no one from RNC was out recruiting us even when we recruited ourselves, and certainly no one was out there talking to us, and especially about anything vaguely related to the best interest of the black community. With nothing but silence from the RNC for the past two and a half years, it was hard to believe they would make such a statement, claiming they were out talking to us! Unless of course the “us” were the few token blacks they have always talked to and felt were docilely safe. Because beyond this, all we saw were political “gatekeeper”, and all we heard from them was an unwelcoming silence.

Now I grieved even more inside over the silence, as much as the false pretense of recruiting African-Americans into the Party, along with the evil minded political maneuverings, unabated and orchestrated by Congressman Wamp and those within his circle. At this point, instead of becoming angry or discouraged, I knew I had to gather a greater strength from God, to do what I had to do to make sure that other black Republicans would not continue to be blocked from participation within the Party. I was even more determined that no one would have to endure what I had experienced. I was not alone in this crucifixion.

There were others out there just like me who felt the same way, and had endured this same kind of insults, mistreatment, and intentional snubs, as we sought just to be included. It was a pattern and practice, which was not only unique to the Caucus or me. It was something, which was happening to many of us across the country. We all have had to swallow one insult after another, and endure the silence, until finally we can’t swallow any more, nor remain quiet. However knowing when to break the silence is golden. Because the only way to stop what was happening was by speaking out. That is exactly what some African-American Republicans have begun to do. I am certainly not the first to break the silence.

In 1998 also being ignored, six politically powerful and courageous African-American women out of frustration and having grown weary of being snubbed and ignored by the Republican Party, were forced to take their complaints to the media.

“Ain’t I too a Woman?”, the question asked by Sojourner Truth, became the theme of these six women’s plight.

Although each woman was actively involved and brought to the Republican Party a wealth of talents, ability, experience, and influence within their prospective communities, and had proven themselves to be leaders, they were excluded from being invited to participate in the Republican Women’s leadership forum.

Among those women involved were Athena Eisenman, President of the Colorado Republican Forum, who also serves as Vice Chairwoman of our NRAAC National Republican African-American Caucus; Gwen Daye Richardson, Editor of Headway Magazine; Phyllis Berry Myers, President, BAMPAC’s National Center for Leadership Training and Recruitment; Teresa Jeter Chappell, President of the Republican Vanguard of Georgia; Faye M. Anderson, National Vice Chair, RNC New Majority Council; and Jacqueline Gordon, President of the National Congress of Black Conservatives

Athena Eisenman
President, Colorado Black Republican Forum

In an article written in the Houston Chronicle, Wednesday, April 29, 1998, by Los Angeles Times, Sam Fulwood III, it headlined: Black women lash out over GOP forum snub. Group accuses part of racial ‘stereotyping’. The article read:

Six black Republican women released an angry letter Tuesday chastising party leaders for failing to invite black conservatives to a two-day Republican Women Leaders Forum being held this week.

Linking their cause to the “Ain’t I a Woman?” refrain of Sojourner Truth, the 19th-century former slave and suffragist, and Republican President Abraham Lincoln’s freeing of slaves the black GOP activist complained that party leaders repeatedly excluded them from organizing activities.

“On the eve of the 21st century black republican women are still agitating for inclusion in mainstream activities in the party of Lincoln,” the letter said. “On behalf of the millions of black women who are voters, tax payers, wives, soccer moms, caregivers, entrepreneurs, community and civil leaders, we ask the organizers of the Republican Women Leaders Forum and GOP leaders, ‘Are we not women?’

The letter, to be published Wednesday as an ad in the Washington Times, is signed by Gwen Daye Richardson, editor of Headway Magazine Phyllis Berry Myers, founder and chair of Black America’s Political Action Committee; Teresa Jeter Chappell, president of the Republican vanguard of Georgia; Faye M. Anderson, president of the Douglass Policy Institute; Jacqueline Gordon, president of the National Congress of Black Conservatives; and Athena Eisenman, president of the Colorado Black Republican Forum.

Red-faced RNC officials reacted with dismay, saying there was no intent to snub black women.

“I’m really shocked and surprised about this,” said Patricia Harrison, co-chair of the RNC, one of the forum’s sponsors. “They were, have and are still invited to attend our meeting.”

After reporters called RNC officials to inquire about the letter, Harrison called some of the women and asked them to reconsider publishing their letter. She even offered to waive the registration fee for some of them to attend.

But Anderson said it was too late for the RNC to do that kind of damage control, and the black women do not plan to attend. “This wasn’t just about the forum,” she said of the public release of their letter. “Truth be told, the party’s failure to include Black Republicans in mainstream activities and affairs smacks of racial stereotyping totally at odds with the party’s commitment to colorblindness and individual merit.”

Anderson said in an interview that GOP leaders are quick to call black activists when they want to put a black face on policies dealing with school choice, affirmative action or other issues “they associate with African-American people. But when they are planning strategy, “they seem to overlook us and seem surprised we are offended.”

In the News Release dated April 29, 1998, the women stated that as in the case with most GOP events, few blacks were invited to attend the forum including leaders who have worked in the party for 10, 20 or even 30 years at the national, state, and local levels. None of the six high profile black African-American Women were among the 15,000 invitees. It was like history repeating itself over and over again. Just as the case with me, and the Caucus in attempting to resolve this matter amicably, the women said they had tried unsuccessfully to have their concerns addressed within the party structure, but no one would respond. Therefore, they publicly aired their discontent, with an open letter in many of the nations top newspapers, and a statement to the media.

What triggered their action was what they described as a snub of black women by GOP leaders planning the Republican Women Leaders Forum. It was the same snub or white wall of silence I had encountered.

According to Phyllis Berry Myers, the “oversight …, [was] symptomatic of a broader lack of sensitivity to black voters in the Republican Party as a whole. The Party’s basic approach has been one of tokenism, where if they have one or two black people on the stage, they consider that to be enough.”
Gwen Daye Richardson pointed out that “Tokenism can no longer be the order of the day.”

The signers of the open letter sent a letter to the then Co-Chairman Pat Harrison, Jennifer Dunn, Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison and Mary Jo Arndt, the then president of the National Federation of Republican Women, calling for greater substantive involvement of black women. The women did not receive a direct response from the forum organizers, but were notified by an RNC spokesman that it was an “oversight” only after the article appeared in the newspaper.

“With over ten years of experience as a Republican activist at the national level, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired of being excluded due to an ‘oversight’,” was the response of Faye M. Anderson, president of the Douglas Policy
Institute and a national vice chair of the RNC’s New Majority Council.

What is interesting about all of this is that the group of women spearheading this effort did not hold themselves out to be radical insurgents. In fact, they may have been considered among some of the most politically conservatives of the African-Americans within the Party.

According to Teresa Jeter Chappell, president of Republican Vanguard of Georgia, despite years of combined efforts of the six women, at all levels, local, state and national, trying to work with the Party to expand its base, they had virtually seen no results. So far all they had gotten was lip service. Because of that the methods they had used in trying to work within the Party obviously had not worked, therefore they had to resort to some outside agitation.

The women stated with major issues being discussed in the 105th Congress, like the future of Social Security and changes to Medicare, the concern of America’s black families should not be ignored.

Vowing to stay in this effort for the long haul, the women said, “We want to leave our children the legacy of having a genuine choice in America’s two-party political system”.

This is the same sentiment that is expressed not only by Phyllis Berry Meyers, president of BAMPAC’s National Center for Leadership Training and Recruitment, but by most African-American Republicans.

The women concluded their media fight by saying, “Right now, most blacks are Democrats by default. It is very hard to be black and Republican because of the constant barrage of attacks one has to endure. Our children deserve to have full participation in our democracy.”

There are many other African-Americans across the country, who are loyal and devoted Republicans, and also have suffered political injuries within the Party. Most of them are waiting until it is safe to speak, before they tell their stories, because they know how mean, cruel and vindictive some within the leadership of the Republican Party can be.

In 1998, it was six courageous black women, who paid a tremendous price for speaking out. Now in 2003 it was my turn to stand as the seventh woman, and the lamb for the slaughter. But also, I was ordained to stand in the stead of minister and prophet to speak to the Republican Party and call it back to order.

I have been called first to prepare the way so that others, both black and white can safely come out of hiding, and speak out against the wrong, which has become an incurable cancer within the Republican Party. This is the story of my life. Going back to my childhood, I had been trained to fight giants. But I was okay with that because there comes a time when David, has to fight Goliath, simply because Goliath has forced his hand.

The same kind of color failures and Republican White Wall of Silence that existed in 1964 during the Goldwater Era, and caused the Republican Party its black support, now exists in 2004. It limits many African-American Republicans with the choice of staying in the Party, and being “black-balled” and destroyed because we seek change, and what is right, or bowing down to the Republican leadership, and becoming a slaves of color, who for a morsel of political bread, are expected to sell our political souls to the Republican slave masters in order to obtain clout, position, recognition, protection, and electability. It is the union of those who have become espoused to the masters of Republican enslavement, to perpetuate the appearance of being inclusive, while entering into an unholy union, to set one African-American Republican against the other, by elevating the ones who buy into the plan, while debasing the others who do not. Together within this union, the two give birth to a new generation of Republican African-American political clones, who will close their eyes to racial injustices, what is wrong, and the plight of the African-American community.

It also produces white Republican siblings who dare not speak out against wrong, because of the fear of breaking the institutionally and politically condoned Goldwater racial conservative white wall of silence.

It is political segregation at its finest! It is the practice of the same separate but not equal doctrine, which sparked the Civil Rights Movement.

It is both the time and the season for the Republican Jim Crows, and the Lester Maddox’s racist gatekeepers within the Party, to change or find themselves another party. Because as African-American Republicans we too have a dream that one day, we again will become active participants with full political access within the Republican Party. Therefore, we are encouraged, and strengthened to take a stand and continue to fight.

I fasted, prayed and cried out to God to unseal the lips of those Republicans who are not racists, and to move them to the forefront of the Party. As I come to what I believe is the end of this journey, there are many good white Republicans who now stand with me, who will not disperse when the heat is on. They may not be within the mainstream political loop of the Republican leadership, but their presence is felt at election time.

I grieved and stayed in prayer so much during this time that God gave me remedy through a deeper spiritual understanding. It was at this point that God lifted me up into a higher realm of spirit, in order that I might be renewed by what I could see in another realm of time. I had a vision in which I saw dark cloud filled with ashes.

“Jean don’t you recognize what this is?” Asked the Spirit of God.

I admitted, “No Lord, I do not know.”

Then the Spirit said, “Yes you do! Go up a little higher in the Spirit Realm, and you will see and understand it because it is a spirit which you have encountered and has vexed you sorely!”

Before I could respond, I was transported into another realm of time. I sat quietly high on a hill looking down on the city of Jerusalem. It was not the Jerusalem of today. The carved streets were nothing but dusty roads.

The Spirit said, “Go down and listen. You cannot hear anything from here.”
I walked the streets of Jerusalem pretty much unnoticed, except by those God wanted to see me. There seemed to be quite a rumpus going on. Several men ran passed me, and into a secret passageway. I don’t know why I did it, but I followed them. They talked of the Messiah’s trial. Among each other they debated if they should stand with the Messiah and offer testimony on his behalf or keep silent.
One of the six said, “What good will it do to get involved? It will only hurt us.”
They all seemed to have agreed until another spoke up and said, “But he is not just Messiah, he is our friend, and no one has known him better than we have. Thus no man can better tell of his innocence.”
With this they also all agreed.

Then one man stood up and said, “Those who we stand against are in power, and just as they are crucifying him, they also will crucify us. I cannot take that chance.”
Just as easily persuaded, the group sided with him. Then by general consensus, they all agreed that they would keep silent, until they knew the outcome of the trial.

At this point the Spirit asked, “Do these men sound familiar?”

I answered, “No.”

Then the Spirit lifted me up and took me down into a deep hole that looked like the eye of a needle, but once through it, it expanded and became a wide pit. Inside of it were spirits chained to each other. I had never seen this before!

The Spirit said, “These are the spirits of silence.”

I jumped back in astonishment. The faces on these spirits were the faces of people I knew.

Then the Spirit began to explain.

“There is an egregious sin of mankind which God shall judge. It is the spirit of silence. It is the same spirit, which stood by, said and did nothing when Jesus was crucified, but allowed the crowd to demand his death with shouts of crucify him! It also is the same spirit, which stood back when American Indians were mutilated, burned and killed. The same spirit did nothing when blacks were castrated, lynched, beaten and unjustly denied their freedom.”

Now I was beginning to understand that the first place I had been taken was among the disciples.

“I take no delight in the wickedness of silence, and I count silence as sin, when those who could have spoken out, do not!” The Spirit continued. “There are many on this side who will suffer the same fate as those who did the wrong, all because they did not condemn the wrong and the wrongdoer.”

When the Spirit said this, I saw a long line of people coming up along side of me. One by one they began to identify themselves and speak. This one woman pushed her way to the front.

“My name is Mammie, and my husband owned 128 slaves. I saw the beatings and I even witnessed many deaths at the hands of my husband and the overseer. I was a good Christian woman, but I stood back and said nothing. Now I find myself on this side, not knowing what to do. If only I could go back, I would have stopped Tom, and turned the slaves we owned free.”

The next person spoke. He still had blood on his hands. You could smell it, as if it was still fresh.

“At my hands I beat one nigger slave with one hundred and fifty lashes. When I got tired, I rested fifteen minutes, then I got back up and commenced to beat him to death.” Holding out his hands, he said. “This is his blood on my hands.”
He took his bloody hands and covered his face.

Another man spoke. He had pictures in his hands. “You see these?” He moved closer to me so that I could see the photos that were in his hands. “These are pictures I took after they burned nigger Jim to death. They strung him up, and took these pictures.”

The pictures were of a black man so badly burned that you could not make out who he was.

They just kept coming, and they just kept telling me their stories, and presenting to me the evidence of their guilt, or their failure to stop the wrong. There were those who told of how they sat back at trials and would not testify against a murderer, just because they were white.

One sheriff, bore his heart, as he told me one story after another of lynching, rapes, and beatings he witnessed, and then used the power of his badge to protect those who were guilty.

There was even a man and a woman who told me they were there when Emmett Till was killed. Their account of what happened was different from the story that had been told. They had the chance to make sure he was returned home beaten, but alive. But they didn’t do it. Together they begged me to tell his mother how sorry they were for not speaking up to save his life.

Then this doctor came forth. He said he wasn’t a real doctor, but a veterinarian who tended to animals and white folks. “I let a many nigger babies die because I would not lift a hand to help get them here, because I wasn’t about to touch no picca ninny, tar baby. Not even a sick one.”

There was one thing that all of those who came had in common. It was their silence and their guilt. Some were sorry for what they did, and others for what they didn’t do. But they all came to offer me comfort for the heavy burden I felt.
Then the Spirit of the Living God spoke, saying:

“Silence to sin and wrong is a deaf and blinding spirit of darkness, which closes its heart to inhumanity and injustices, as well as its eyes and ears. For it sees and hears the wrong, but hardens its heart, and refuses to act. This is the spirit, which hangs over America, and has been there since her birth. Now it hangs heavily over the Republican Party. But in just a little while, I AM going to move among those whites in America who have remained silent, and I AM going to loose their tongues to speak that which is right, just and holy. For I have many in reserve, who will speak out against wrong, because they shall see the wrong for what it is. Sin! And they will understand that the wages of sin is death to My presence. But for those who will continue to remain silent, just as they have sealed their lips, and turned a deaf ear, so shall I also withdraw my voice of mercy, and turn a deaf ear to their cries, when they come before me in prayer, and when they plea for mercy when they are judged for every deed they have done in the flesh.”

As a final comfort to me, the woman who first spoke who said her name was Mammie placed a soft, delicately weaved powder blue blanket on my shoulders and said:

“May you leave here with the comfort of knowing that there are many of us here now, who saw the wrong that was done, and who did nothing to stop it, who are truly sorry. We only wish we had the chance to go back, and make things right, and to change the course of history. Please tell our descendants we made a mistake. All of God’s children are one, and are from one family-the family of God. Tell them this.”

They all stood there watching me as the Spirit of God took me away. I began to feel a little better. Her final words, and the comfort of the blanket reminded me of blue skies, filled with sunshine. Perhaps it was intended to give me the hope of a brighter day. But in my heart, I doubted if sharing this would make any difference.
To that the Spirit said, “It is not up to you to judge. Let every man and woman hear what you have seen, and let them be their own judge. But regardless, you have to share what you have seen.”

After this, I never questioned the silence of those who said or did nothing. But as I close this chapter, and make the decision within my heart not to bear any grudges, but to continue the fight for parity within the Republican Party, God said these final words.

“The day will come. Surely it will because I lift My hand in an oath to you, and swear by My own name that every wrong and every offense that have been done against you shall be judged and repaid. For I have seen, and I have heard, and unlike mankind, I AM not a silent God. Although I did not speak or act at first, did not mean that I failed to judge every deed done and every word spoken against you. Soon you will see My Hand move against those who dared to touch the “apple of my eye”. I shall show no mercy to them, just as they showed no mercy to you. And for those who hid behind my name, as they dug ditches and pitfalls for you, and came against you when you did nothing to hurt or harm them, I have become their enemy! I shall tear them from behind my name, and shall openly display them for all to see that they are nothing more than hypocrites, who have dared to fool others, not realizing that I AM a God who sees and knows all! Now I will reveal them, for all the world to see, and I shall snatch back the covers and reveal who they really are. Then I will send them tumbling down from the high places they think they have secured through their hypocrisy and evil doings. For I AM a God of righteous judgment, and no one can stop My Hand of wrath and judgment. I am angry for what they have done to you, and even more angry for how they have used Me as their cloak. Just wait and you will see my anger upon them. I also will no longer favor a party which uses Me to hide behind to conceal their wrong!”

Then in January 2004, God said:

“Soon it will be time for the book to be released. I will no longer tolerate their hypocrisy and evil deeds. I also have given everyone time to make it right with you. Now those who have not done so, will be counted with those who are guilty, until they take the courage to come forth and separate themselves from wrong doing.”

There is one thing that is certain. The Republican Party is now faced with a dilemma, which is not about to go away. Christian African-Americans, and affluent blacks are becoming more philosophically aligned with the Party’s ideology, which is forcing it to take a second look at its racial policies. The Republican Party stands at the crossroads, and must make a decision to either maintain its present position on race, or return to its birthed identity and embrace those of whom inspired its existence.

I close this chapter with one final word from God to the Republican Party.

“I birth you from my womb, as a political party, so that you would bear fruit as a special remnant of your time, and I purposed and ordained you to stand as My orators of truth, at a time when men and women of the south refused to know the truth of my love for all mankind, and especially those who were in bondage. I drew you out of many waters, to embrace many races, so that you would become a garden mixed and filled with fresh, and beautiful human flowers of every sort. I gave you a fragrance of hickory and oak, because you were to stand as men and women, like trees firmly planted in justice and equality for all mankind. Out of pure and sincere hearts, I birthed you, and ordained your purpose.

But when I birthed you, Satan also birthed his own seed of wickedness, and while you nodded for a moment, he sowed it among you. It grew unseen, beneath the political and social soils of America for a short while. Then it began to sprout as tiny blades of grass among you. Because you were not as watchful and diligent as you should have been, you did not see this wicked seed as it grew, and did not weed it out from among you. Therefore, it took its root, and spread even more densely within your ranks, within the hearts of man. As time went on, it grew boldly into men and women of great arrogance, pride, and hypocrisy.

Now when I look at you, I see that a false sense of humility, as well as pride, hate, and arrogance, has replaced your compassionate, just and godly reverenced spirit. I see those who have used My name in vain, and have used me as a cloak to hide their sins of greed, hate and racial prejudice. Among you now is a spirit I detest! It is the spirit of hypocrisy and silence to the cries of the poor, needy and oppressed. You speak of spiritual devotion to Me, but you remain silent, with lips tightly sealed when injustices are done. You even cause many of those injustices through your own hands. I watch you encourage love for Me, family and country. I watch you proudly wave your flags, and spew out words of patriotism, as you invoke My blessings upon America. All of this sickens Me! Because I know that it comes from many of those among you who do not know the meaning of love, compassion, and justice! These are those who were planted among you by Satan himself. But now I call you unto repentance for your silence and your lack of diligence in weeding out those who have defiled your purpose, and have changed your course from that which I gave you at birth. I also call you to return to your first love, which is Me, and to forsake the ways of assimilation.”

Because I AM all knowing, and see all things, I also know that there are many among you who still hold to your birthright, and have not become contaminated. But because you have remained in the background, and have not moved to the forefront, and to the head of the Party, the nation does not see or know your true character. Therefore, I call you to move up front, and to take back the positions of leadership, and power within the Party, which you once held. I also call you to hold every man responsible and accountable for what he says and stands for. Remember the days of old. I call forth the generations of today, who are the descendants of those of yesterday, who led this party with bowels of compassion, integrity and justice. Stand with what is right in the eyes of your God! Be a voice to champion the cause of those who cannot speak for themselves, nor have the strength to stand! Arise and defend the poor, helpless, needy, and oppressed! For if you will do all of these things, I will have no need to debase you, and take away your strength and power.”

It is my heart felt desire and prayer that my party will take heed, and restore itself back within God’s favor, so that it can continue to fulfill the divine purpose for which it was created.

As to those who wronged me, I pray they will find one day a place in their hearts to correct their own individual color failures, and see each person as God has created them to be.

Part Six: A Reason Not to Hate

2009-12-01T09:14:00.000-08:00

[Often what we experience at the hands of others, causes us to hate, but what is more powerful than hate, is to instead find a reason to love in spite of the hate.

In this chapter from my book, Black Eyes Shut - White Lips Sealed, I share how as an African American Republican, I arrived at this decision.]

CHAPTER FIVE

A REASON NOT TO HATE

“Never hate those who hate you, because in doing so, you also become infected with their contagious, deadly, and self destructive disease.”
Golden Nuggets of Wisdom to My Daughter LaShunda__jhh

When God first said to me, “I am calling you into politics to make a difference”, immediately I thought I would become a successful democratic elected official who would champion the cause of the poor, children, the elderly, the down trodden, and those suffering injustices. However, once my political ambitions took a Republican turn, there were immediate hindrances to accomplishing this mandate.

It was hard for those who grew up with me, and particularly those who went to undergraduate school with me at Wheaton to believe that I had become a Republican. Not me! The person who thought hard about becoming a Black Panther during my college days? “Free Huey Newton”, was on my lips, and Rap Brown was a brother who moved me to action.

Back then, I could identify with Angela Davis who was seen as a brave black sister, who was not afraid to fight the system to force it to change.

We had seen peaceful demonstrations end with violence, and with us being the sole casualties. My generation refused to sit back any longer and wait for White America to make up its mind to do the right thing towards us. We were the generation of forced change. We were tired of being openly humiliated, beaten, lynched, and castrated, while the laws that were in place to protect us, offered us no justice or legal recourse, and were not worth the paper they were written on.
I was very fiery, and issue oriented back in those days. My recollections of some of the horrors and injustices of living down south spurred unabated anger that was penned up inside of me. That anger slowly turned to hate.

It was never in my heart to hate, but I did not know how to channel that anger into positive courses of action, until one day I remembered the words of my most admired two teachers from my high school years, Brenda Strong Nixon, and Connie Mitchell. They told us to stop being so angry, and use our brains to fight with, and to use what was up here [pointing to the head] instead. These words were powerful tools for fighting the racial injustices of our day. I will never forget their words.

“They can take away your social liberties, and even enslave your body, but if you get a good, solid education, they can never enslave your mind. Because nobody can ever take away from you what you got in your head!”

What a profound and provocative insight.

In later years I took that advice, and from that point on in my life, my quest was
for knowledge, and my anger was re-channeled into positive courses of action. I realized that I did not need to take on the violent and unjust nature of my enemy. Neither did I have to take it upon myself to seek revenge. Instead, I learned to curb my temper, cool headedly observe my enemy, devise a plan, intelligently wait for the right time to implement it, and fight with my head. This coupled with prayer, and seeking the wisdom of God, provided me with the strongest of weapons to defeat the wrongs and ills of society.

As I look back on that period, which I call “my angry years”, now I realize it wasn’t hate that kindled my anger, so much as it was pain and despair.

The success of the Civil Rights Movement of the 60s had given us hope in the 70s of changing the face of America so that it included and looked like us. We were the children of the Civil Rights Movement, and were determined that we would never again be enslaved or treated less than human, simply because of the color of our skin. If it took dying, we were ready to die for freedom. We had made up in our minds that there would be no more lynchings and killings of helpless and innocent black folks. With what blacks had endured, enough was more than enough, and we were willing to lay down our lives for the cause of freedom.

I had seen and witnessed so much injustice that it generated a pain within me, which seemed to only subside with protest and anger.

I thought about the times, my father a Baptist minister was called “nigger” and “boy” instead of his name. I remembered seeing him go around to the back of restaurants to order food for us because they did not serve niggers inside with the white customers, who were no better than we were, and whose money was no greener than ours.

I thought about the times this white man named Mr. Gunner came to our house, ate at our table while insulting us with “nigger” and “tar baby” jokes. You would have thought he was somebody important or rich and wealthy. But he was just another poor, uneducated, white southern man who had the nerve to think himself to be better than the nigger company he kept. Part of the reason why he visited us was because he was so poor that he had to eat the scraps from our table just to be fed.
Once my Mama was in the kitchen straightening my sister’s hair. Mr. Gunner seemed to always gravitate to the place where my Mama was. We watched him, as he tried to flirt with her. She was young and very beautiful, but that did not give him the right to look at her the way he did. He often made remarks about our nappy hair, which because of the mixture of Indian and Caucasian blood in us on my mother’s side, our hair was not nearly as nappy as most blacks. Nevertheless, he found it amusingly funny to degrade us because of our Negroid features.

Each time he told his insulting jokes, as a young child, in my mind I silently thought about how cruel his words were, and how bad they made me feel. With every insult, I became more determined that when I got big enough, if a white man ever looked at me the way he looked at my Mama, or if he ever spit on me, touched me, or even as much as called me a nigger, I would try with all of my might to make sure he was one dead white man!

I did not dare tell my parents what I felt because they always had taught us to love everybody, treat everybody right, and to turn the other cheek if we wanted to see Jesus. So the only reason why I abandoned and repented of the thought of putting a hurting on him for all his insults to us was because I sure enough wanted to see Jesus! I had heard so much about Jesus, and had already had a powerful spiritual introduction to him at an early age. Therefore, I sure as heck wasn’t going to let this one white man make me miss the chance to get to heaven where I could see Sweet Jesus, face-to-face!

But I thought, when I got to heaven, and if I saw him up there, I was going to let him have it! Thank God for getting to know him at an early age. This played a huge part in smothering the anger, and the many reasons whites had given us to hate them. I guess this is why God gave me my first spiritual experience at the age of four. To keep me from displaying that anger in violence.

Following the pastoral footsteps of my father, and his lineage of preachers, I held church services outside during the summer. I stood upon a box crate and a wooden picnic table, using them as my pulpit. Those who came to hear me preach were just as old, as they were young. I preached and preached until I worked up a good Baptist sweat, with one sock up, and the other worked down into my shoe. Then after each sermon, I would reach over and pull the hat off Mr. Herman Evans’ head, or anyone else’s hat I could get, and passed it around as the collection plate.
With what was given in the offerings, I gave it to my mother to buy kool-aid and cookies for my congregation. After all, like Jesus, after I finished preaching, I had to feed the multitude of famished parishioners.

Recently my Mama told me the story again, and handed me an old faded picture of me after I had finished preaching. Sure enough, there I stood after preaching, with one sock up, and the other down!

Sure enough, there I stood after preaching, hair frizzled with one sock up, and the other down!

Different preachers tell of when they received the call. For some it was in the field, in a dream, in a vision, or as they rode or walked along. But for me, I received the call at the age of four, while sitting on the toilet, swinging my tiny little legs, singing and preaching to my imaginary congregation. Until I started preaching to the neighborhood, my favorite place to hold church was in the outhouse.

Once my family moved from the community of New Tyner to Shepherd, I stopped preaching in the outhouse, because then we had inside plumbing. However I continued to preach, but now to the neighborhood children, and escorted them to and from the weekly Camp Cedine Bible Class.

I was grateful for the solid bible teaching that came from home, and from outside that kept me anchored, and always brought me back to knowing what was right; and hating someone, even if they hated me for no reason, just wasn’t the right thing to do.

Even with my solid teachings, knowing how difficult it sometimes was for me to turn the other cheek without first drawing the sword, God removed me from the south in 1967, and did not allow me to be there during the assassination of my hero, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

I was living in Washington, D. C. when they assassinated Dr. King. I remember it well.

The days following his assassination, I woke up, and there was an eerie feeling in the air. I got dressed and preceded to head out the door for my daily walk to McKinley High School. As I got to the intersection of Bryant Street and North Capitol, I saw nothing but tanks moving up and down North Capitol. I looked up into the sky and could see clouds of smoke billowing in the distance. The smell of burning was in the air. I wasn’t sure if I should turn back, and go home or keep going. But feeling the aching pain from the news that Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. had been assassinated, kindled my own inward and outward burning.

The tears streamed down my face. I could not retain my sorrow mixed with anger. It was hard to believe that this deeply devoted, meek and forgiving man was now dead, who had believed so strongly in turning the other cheek. I did not want to believe in non-violence any more! I was so hurt and confused that I found myself running.
I ran so hard that I was completely exhausted by the time I reached 2nd and T Street. As I entered the doors of McKinley High, I could feel the emotional charge of everyone around me. All I wanted to do was empty myself of the anger I felt inside. I was different from the other students. What they felt was from a totally different prospective. I was a southern girl who had just recently moved to Washington D.C. I knew by experience, all too well the terror of racism. Suddenly it all began to flash before me: My father almost being lynched. My family moving from Georgia to Alabama, and later to Tennessee, stripping me of my Georgia birthright. The racist and cruel insults of my childhood, and the many times I had been called a nigger, or had to ride in the back of the CARTA bus. I thought about having to drink from the “colored only” water fountain or using the “colored only” bathroom in Woolworth and S.S. Kresses in downtown Chattanooga. I thought about how hard my mother had labored washing and ironing for white people, while they barely paid her. I thought about them allowing their children to address her and my father by their first names, forbidding them to place a Mr., Mrs., or Rev. in front of their names, while insisting that we call them Mr. or Mrs.

I thought about many things, and the more I thought, the hotter the fire kindled within me! I could smell my blood boiling. There were blacks turning over cars, and setting fire to anything in sight that they thought belonged to the white man, even without thinking, and destroying that which was black owned.

For the next several years, what happened that day impacted upon my life. It wasn’t until my senior year in college in 1974 that I began to smother the angry fires within me. Prior to that, during my college years, I proudly expressed my black pride, and did everything I could to show my defiance for the racism not only in the South, but also across America. At first I thought the answer was to become a Black Panther. Angela Davis became my hero. I identified with the free Huey Newton posters hanging in my dorm room. Black power and the red, green and black Motherland symbols were vividly displayed on everything I could find.
I rinsed my hair each week with vinegar to change the wavy texture, so that I could form it into the biggest afro I could style.

I clinched my fist in the black power sign, and chanted, “beep, beep, bang, bang, ungawa, Black Power!” This was more than a chant. The power and force of it awakened the cries of freedom from the blood of my ancestral lineage of slavery that ran thick within my veins. The more I chanted it, the more bitter and angry I became, and less tolerant of racial injustices. Arthetha Franklin’s song, Young, Gifted and Black became my personal song of identity. But in all of this, I realized that it was nothing more than an emotional response to my painful frustrations, and quest for true freedom and equality. It was a freedom cry, and my inner most desire to see things change and be different. Coming to this realization, I made the most important decision of my life. Instead of picking up arms, and fighting in the streets, believing that the time for the revolution had come, I decided to wage my own revolution. It was a revolution of the intellect. I made use of every opportunity I had to get an ivy league education, and to equip myself to make a real difference.

The words of my teachers, Brenda Strong Nixon, and Connie Mitchell were my inspiration. “Use your head, use your head to fight with”, was all I could think about.

These two faithful teachers did something for the 1970 graduating class of McKinley High School that affected all of our destinies. They kept telling us to go to college and get the degree, because no matter what racist people did to us, they could never take away from us what we had in our heads. Not only this, but they made sure that over 76 percent of the graduating class went to college. These were the golden 70s for us; an opportunity to use our heads filled with knowledge, instead of venting our anger physically and through violence.

I was determined to obtain something that racism could never take away from me. So I prayed and asked God’s help to overcome my bitterness and anger, and to enable me to re-channel it into mighty streams of knowledge. This resulted in me being the first in my family to graduate from college, and the first of many blacks to overcome the hurdles of getting a law degree. But this was just the beginning.
There were many more hurdles to overcome, and many more situations up the road that would try my method for overcoming evil with good, and cause me to be tempted to take the anger route once again. However, I remained steadfast to the resolve that I had a far greater weapon to fight with that was more powerful than my raw emotional response of anger or hate. So even though I had every reason to hate those whites who had unjustly wronged me, and those of my race, I never resorted back to anger again. Neither was I ever tempted to hate in return, those who hated me, simply because of my skin being black, and my blood being of African descent.
I saw what white hatred was doing to not only those they hated, but to their own souls and lineages, and I chose not to be tormented by their demons, or to condemn my soul to their eternal fate and damnation. Therefore, I chose the example set by their self-destructive hate and racial violence, as a reason not to hate, and become the brutal and inhumane beast of racism, violence, terrorism and social evil.

End of Six Part Series from my book, Black Eyes Shut - White Lips Sealed.

Part Five: Go Fight Giants!

2009-12-01T09:13:00.001-08:00

[Chapters from my book, Black Eyes Shut - White Lips Sealed, by Jean Howard-Hill]

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

GO FIGHT GIANTS!

“My child, never fear the Goliaths in your life. Just remember to
always keep a smooth stone of wisdom and love at your side, and trust
God to steady your hand, and guide your aim, so that you will be skillful and successful in fighting the most fierce giants, and defeating evil in whatever form, measure and size it may come.” Golden Nuggets of Wisdom to My Daughter LaShunda__jhh

After an indepth review of history, I realized that racism is a Goliath, in which God ordains the Davids of each generation to fight. From David to Harriet Tubman, to Dr. Martin Luther King, they have slain the racial Goliaths of their time. In the 21st century, we still have remnants of those same Goliaths within our society. Because of this, God again is raising up spiritually equipped Davids to defeat racial Goliaths.

Entering first grade was something special for me! My mother had prepared each one of us at home to begin school, with her own special way of home schooling. I could write my name, knew my birth date, numbers and alphabets! Back then …that was a lot! But the training my brother, Ed gave me seemed to me the most crucial of my pre-school preparation.

I weighed about thirty pounds soaking wet. My tiny body was the smallest of all of the kids I knew in the neighborhood. We had recently moved to the Shepherd community right before I was to begin first grade. Although I later got to know most of the kids from my summer church, and from taking them to weekly Camp Cedine Bible classes, in the beginning my size made me a sure target for being picked on. Or at least that is what my brother told me. Ed was very mischievous to say the least. No! I take that back. At times the boy was a living terror!

I remember him taking me down in the woods, and tying me to a tree all day long. He told me to stay there until he came back to rescue me. Off he went to fight the Indians. (No offense to my Native American heritage. But at that time, this was the sort of indoctrination you got from watching television, and as kids, we didn’t know any better back then.) I stayed tied to that tree until it was almost time for dinner. It wasn’t until Mama asked where I was that Ed remembered I was still tied to the tree in the woods! He came chasing through the woods, with his play gun raised, and his holster around his waist.

“Hi ho Silver!” He shouted.

I had been brave all day long, but when I saw him, I started crying, because I was moved by his daring rescue of me from the wild. He was my hero! He knelt down, wiped my tears, and cut me loose from the tree. Despite him being my hero, the first thing that came out of my mouth was …guess what?
“ I am gonna tell Mama on you!”

This struck the fear of God and Mama in him, because he knew he was in trouble then!

Again he fell to his knees, passionately begging and pleading with me to save him from the wrath to come.

“Please don’t tell Mama”, he pleaded. “You know I am the only boy in the family, and they don’t like me. So if you tell on me they will kill me, and throw my body in the river!”

This story of his cruel and brutal demise always got to me. He pulled this one on me whenever he was in trouble, and didn’t want me to tell on him.

“See you are skinny. That’s why I call you Bony Maroonie. Mama and Daddy won’t beat you like they beat me, because they know your little puny legs will break! Just tell Mama you were playing in the woods and fell asleep.”

He wiped my eyes again, and said, “Okay, Bony Maroonie?”

You are talking about being dumb! The boy was calling me names, and begging me for mercy at the same time, and I was dumb enough to give in to him!

“And don’t tell them about the names I call you either. Okay, Puny Dog?” He said.

He didn’t want Mama and Daddy to know he had called me out of my name. That spelled double trouble for him if they knew. In our house, we were forbidden from calling each other any name other than that which was on our birth certificates!
I responded, “But you left me out here in the woods to die. The Indians and the bears could have killed me!”

“No I didn’t!” He emphatically declared. “My horse Silver broke his leg, and Tonto had to shoot him, and I had to wait to get another horse. That’s what kept me so long.”

He added to that, “I was coming back for you, but I had to stop by the saloon to see Ms. Kitty about some men folk’s business.”
Then he hugged me, and said, “You know you are my favorite sister, and I always
take care of you. Don’t I?”

I nodded my head, and said, “Yes”.

“You know how when you get candy, I always taste it first, to make sure you don’t get poisoned?”

“Yes”, I responded.

“Well just like I do that, I am going to take you home to Mama to protect you from the Indians and the bears.”

Cowboy Ed, May 1959

It wasn’t until I was older that I realized when my brother called himself eating off the poison, he was really helping himself to my goodies! I should have known better because the only times there was poison, was when I had candy, cookies, cake, ice cream or soda pop. But I trusted him because he was my big brother, and my hero, and was always looking out for me.

We ran home together, happy as a lark! Mama never asked me where I was, and I never told that my brother had tied me to a tree, …all day long!

Actually my brother really was a very nice person, with a good heart. He was just so mischievous. But when he got in trouble, he could always depend upon my loyalty and love for him to soften the blow of his punishment! But I didn’t mind. He made up for it in all the nice things he did for me. Like the toys and clothes he bought me when he got his first job, and his first paycheck. He spent it all on me, …his darling, sweet, little dumb sister!

Ed taught me a lot of lessons. He told me now that I was beginning school, he had to teach me how to protect myself, and to keep from getting beat up. So he taught me how to fight. Mama and Daddy did not allow fighting in our house. They believed in getting along with each other. If we were caught fighting, we got a whipping that made us remember for life that we were “kin”, and that “kin folks” don’t fight each other. Then we were made to beg each other’s pardon, and stand there for what seemed like hours, hugging each other. It worked, because we grew up not fighting each other, after that first initial whipping!

Anyway …Ed put me in summer training two weeks before school started. The first thing he taught me was to go for the biggest and baddest kid in school, and if I could take them on, then I would never have to worry about anyone else messing with me ever again. So I trained to take the biggest and baddest out!

The first rule was to keep my eyes on the person I was supposed to fight, and before they could strike, hit them with three punches. One in the eye, the second in face, and the third to the head. Shoving them with my body weight, this would take them down. Once they were down, I was to dive on top of them and continue to beat the hell out of them! Of course Mama and Daddy didn’t have an inkling about the pre-school offensive combat training that my brother was giving me. It was “our” little secret.

I learned the lesson well, and for the first three days of school, I put what he had taught me into action. …At least I tried.

The first fight was with the boys! I beat the hell out of Scott Phinease! I would have done the same to Thaddeus Lewis, but he had a crutch that he used to chase and hit all of us upside the head. So I saved him for another day. Then I went for Fat Dorothy. After these two successes, I went for the Tate and the Weaver kids. But this proved to be a bad move. They were known in the neighborhood as the kids who could and would fight. When I tackled them, this time, they beat the hell out of me!

My first grade teacher, Ms. Izetta Taylor [Thurmond] sent word to my Mama, and after hearing what I had done, Mama literally beat the hell out of me, and put the heaven and the fear of God and her, back into me! That slowed me down in tackling giants, and made me reserve my fighting for those times when there was a real need, and when others were mistreated or being picked on. From that I learned that you only fight giants when you are called to, and absolutely have to! But you never should have the fear to fight when the right cause is at stake. Of course my brother again pleaded with me, never to tell Mama and Daddy that he was behind my sudden need to fight giants.

As I grew up, my brother never quite stopped being so mischievous, and right up until his death, we remained close and each other’s best friend. I knew he really loved me, and in his own way, what he did really was to protect me. He continued to protect me for the rest of his life, especially when he and I resided in Washington, D.C. I always felt safe knowing that my big brother was around. Ed was in school studying to be a doctor. He was going to doctor on me, and I was going to be a lawyer to defend him against medical malpractice suits. Even as adults, we had it all planned, just how our lives would always be meshed together.

I am grateful that when we were children, he taught me how to fight. He certainly knew how. He was the president of the NAACP student chapter at school, and had been a part of the sit-ins and other demonstrations during the Civil Rights Movement. I remember when he and a group of student demonstrators went to Florida for a civil rights rally. He came back with a renewed and a deeper resolve to fight for freedom. Yes, he taught me how to defend myself, but just as he had learned, from his days of non-violent protest, life’s lessons teach us when, how, and under what circumstances to fight, and the proper instruments of war we are to use. Even in this, I knew as a child that not only did I need to be equipped with the gospel to save souls, but I also had to know how, and be prepared to fight for those causes that were right, just, honorable and fair. But the fight God wanted me engaged in was spiritual warfare-a fight which was not with carnal means and weapons, but with mighty spiritual weapons, waging war in the heavenly, and pulling down strongholds, and every thought and imagination which exalted itself above the knowledge of God.

Thanks to my brother Ed, I didn’t have any fear of ever tackling any giant, no matter how big or how bad they thought they were.

I could not resist including this tattered picture of my brother Ed that he had in his wallet while he was in Nam. Just the look on his face, and the expression of his two partners with him, tell you that even while in combat in Vietnam, he was still up to mischief.

I also understood the spiritual application of what he had taught me in the natural. When fighting giants, you first arm yourself with wisdom and love as your weapons. Then you seek the will of God, so that He may give you “his” strategy. You never be afraid to take on any giant, regardless of size, if the cause is just and godly. You always look your enemy straight in the eye, because you have no need to fear him, because greater is “He” that is in you. At the right time, if you trust God, wait on him, and seek to do the right thing, He will uncover your enemy’s weaknesses, just as David did Goliath. Then at the godly ordained right moment, you will be able to strike a stunning blow, just when he least expects it, and at a time when he thinks he has overpowered you. One that will level him to the ground, and render him helpless, giving him an opportunity to reconcile himself to what is right.

From what my brother taught me, I was able to apply those lessons throughout my life. I learned to fight both man and beast. I remember when I was around seven years old my first beastly confrontation. In order to get to school each day, we had to walk pass Mr. Henderson’s dogs. He had two of the meanest German shepherds n the Shephard Community and on the face of the earth! They especially took a vicious liking to me. I figured out why years later. Mama cooked bacon and sausage for us for breakfast, and when we ran out of Jergen’s lotion, I took the grease from the bacon and sausage and used it as a substitute to lotion my legs. I guess the dogs thought my skinny little legs were breakfast meat! They came chasing after me every morning, until one morning I decided I had enough!

As I saw one of the dogs coming for me, I crouched down in a springing position looking the dog straight in the eye, and when he got to me, I leaped on top of him, biting and beating him with my fist. I went after him with all I had. When finally they got me off the dog, I was still kicking and hitting at him, with a mouth full of dog hair, and the dog was in worse shape than I was! My brother had taught me never to let anyone bully me, and never to be afraid of tackling anyone or anything if it attacked me. When they asked me why did I bite the dog, I told them, “That’s what he gets for biting me! I gave him some of his own medicine!”

After that, whenever I passed by Mr. Henderson’s house, both dogs would take off running around the back. They no longer wanted any parts of me! I also wasn’t too eager to sink my teeth into another dog! I never had to fight a beastly opponent again, but life often brought those against me who had a beastly nature. The lessons of my youth taught me how to deal even with them.

God has placed The Goliath Call upon many of us, both black and white. It is the call to go fight the giants of our time, who threatens the rights and freedom of those who desire to live in a peaceful and just society.

As I thought about all of the death, violence, and brutality I had witnessed through my research, and the obstacles I had faced within the Republican Party, and throughout my life, I knew God had always used individuals to fight giants. In my life, there certainly had been no shortage of giants to fight. Even before my conception, there was a battle for me to be born. Had it not been for my mother, her best friend, and the grace of God, my own father would have been lynched, and I would have never flowed from his loins because of the giant of racism. Just thinking about what could have been, and the horror of that night that my family experienced as they fled, caused my stomach to churn.

My mother’s best friend overheard whites talking about lynching my father. My mother sent a black man to warn my father, and to tell him to come home. They didn’t have time to take any of their belongings out of the house. My sister Pat was a baby in arms. Mama didn’t even have time to get a coat for her. All she had on was a diaper and shirt. So Daddy took off his coat, and wrapped her up in it. They fled for safety to the home of my Grandmamma and Grandpapa.

My father tried to sneak back down to the house, to at least get some of our belongings, but when he got near the house, he could see a group of white men with rifles walking around in the yard. My mother’s best friend was a praying woman. She also was walking around in the yard, rubbing her hands together and praying. My mother lived with the nightmare of them possibly harming her. Daddy ran back to Grand Mamma’s and Grand Papa’s house. Grand Papa sneaked them out to the nearest bus station, and put them on a bus headed for Anniston, Alabama. After being there in Alabama, two white men, under the pretense of being insurance men came to the house looking for my father. Again, they had to flee for safety to Chattanooga, Tennessee. Shortly before that, my mother gave birth to me in Anniston, Alabama.
This meant that I was the only one of five children who was not born in Georgia, and was stripped of my Georgia birthright.

Even to this day, my mother finds it hard to talk about this, and the hardship and racial prejudices she experienced as a child, and watched her mother, father, and grandparents endure. She can never recapture all of our clothing, furniture, and everything they owned and possessed, along with the personal memories, friends and family that they left behind. It was hard to leave Lincolnton, Georgia, a place where she was born and raised. But the racial climate of that time necessitated it be done expeditiously.

I look at my mother now, and it tears me to pieces to know that at the age of nine, she had to work in the cotton fields. Although she was smart as a whip, she was not able to get the opportunity to be educated to her fullest potential. The same is true of my father. He had a mathematical mind that had he been given the opportunity to be properly schooled, he would have been a mathematical wiz. There was work to be done, and back then it didn’t matter if you were an adult or a child. As they used to say, “everybody goes, when the wagon comes!” When the overseer of the place came, he rounded up anything black and breathing, and sent them to the hot fields to work or pick cotton. Fortunately for my father, my Grand Papa was among the few blacks back then that owned their own land. But still my father had to work the land, which meant he also did not get the education he deserved.

I thought about the hardship my Big Mama faced. How hard she worked for just a little flour or meal, a pound of butter, and a watered down jug of sweet milk. Just thinking about being a fourth generation descendant of slaves sometimes makes me cringe, to even think of their misery and suffering.

For me the slavery and segregational cruelties of the past are not as distant as many whites wanted to make it. I can image the pain and suffering the generations before me went through. I also realize the harsh and cruel reality of southern living, and but for the grace of God, Emmett Till and James Byrd would have been Julius Howard. Many times, I have had to go before God to ask for the strength, courage, and above all unconditional, agape love to continue to hold to my resolve to never hate those who hated me because of my color. I continue to ask for the mind to always do nothing more than fight with my head, and with the spiritual weapons of wisdom and love.

My present bout with the Republican Party, made it no less easy to forget the past, and made it even more important for me to rise above my flesh. What was done to me, at times was enough to tempt even the most rooted and grounded spiritual person to fight back with the same measures in which had been dealt to me. But I refused to stain my garment of love and righteousness, and grieve the heart of God by doing anything, which even resembled the demons of hate.

I knew my birth, and my life experiences were not without purpose. Through the death of my father, the enemy knew that I never would have been born. So the threat of his life was about more than just him. It was about cutting me off, and preventing me from fulfilling my divinely ordained purpose that I was called to do in this hour. It was all about purpose. Even that which I presently faced with the Republican Party has a divine purpose, which in time will unfold, and be fully revealed.

I also knew that there were those of us who had been predestined by God, both black and white, rich and poor, Jew and Gentile, to bear the mark of The Goliath Call, which is the call to fight the wicked giants of our time, who stand in absolute power over us, and strike fear and terror in the hearts of those too weak and powerless to fight back.

I spiritually re-energized myself for the battle ahead of me, understanding that where much is given, much is also required. God had given me the blessings of getting the education my parents were prohibited from receiving. He had blessed me to be educated within the white institutions of higher learning, and to hold a doctorate of jurisprudence. The ability to research and write were gifts He had given me to be used for his glory, and to wage his battles. He had placed me at the helm, as a national political leader within and outside of the Republican Party. I knew if I moved in purpose, and with the right motive, God also would grace me with the wisdom, knowledge, and understanding that I needed to engage myself in battle, and be victorious for a good cause. Now I was required to use what was given to me to answer The Goliath Call, …to go fight giants!